Questions to Ask the Groom for a Bachelorette Party
Questions to ask the groom for a bachelorette party, filmed ahead of time and played for the bride to guess or simply to hear. The classics come first (first date, first kiss, who said 'I love you'), then stories at his expense, what he knows about her, him-or-her rounds, her friends and a few sweet ones to finish on.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Classics
How did you two actually meet, and what version does she tell?
Why ask it
Have the bride tell her version to the room first, then play his. The gap between the two is the fun: who spoke first, and who claims not to have noticed the other. If they met on an app, ask him who sent the first message and what it said.
Where did you go on your first date, and how did you think it was going?
Why ask it
Both of them ought to get the place right, so this is a safe first point for the bride. The second half is where the clip earns its spot: he will have thought the evening was going far better, or far worse, than she did.
Where was your first kiss, and who went for it?
Why ask it
A place and a name, so it can be scored in two seconds. If he hesitates over the place, leave the pause in when you edit. Skip the question when a parent of either is in the room, unless the bride says she does not mind.
Who said 'I love you' first, and where were you?
Why ask it
The two of them may not agree, often because somebody mumbled it or said it at the end of a phone call. Get the bride's answer out loud first, then play his.
When did you know she was the one you wanted to marry?
Why ask it
Push him for the day and what she was doing, because 'I just knew' gives the room nothing. The answers worth playing are ordinary: she was fixing a shelf, or being rude about his driving. Play it late, once the jokes are done.
What was she wearing on your first date?
Why ask it
The bride can probably describe the outfit down to the shoes, while he will be pleased with himself for getting the color. Settle the scoring before the clip plays: half a point for the color, a full one for the actual item.
What is your favorite thing about her, the first one that comes to mind?
Why ask it
The speed is the point. A considered answer comes out as a list of virtues, while the first thing in his head tends to be small, such as how she talks to other people's dogs. Have the bride guess what he said before you play it.
Which habit of hers will you never get used to?
Why ask it
The annoying-habit question, worded so that he sounds resigned and fond instead of fed up. Cabinet doors left open and forty browser tabs are the right size of answer. If the clip sounds like a real complaint, it does not make the cut.
What would she say is your most annoying habit?
Why ask it
The return match for the question before it, and the fairer of the two, since this time the joke is on him. Ask the bride first: she is likely to have a list, and the round is whether his guess appears anywhere on it.
Which three words describe her best?
Why ask it
Quick to film and easy to turn into a round: every guest writes down three words for her, then you see who matched him. Tell him 'beautiful' and 'amazing' are banned, or that is two of the three gone.
Stories
What did you think when you first saw her?
Why ask it
The answers that work make him look bad instead of making her look good: he assumed she was out of his league, or he did not notice her at all. If he only says how she looked, ask what he guessed she would be like.
How long did it take you to ask her out, and what were you waiting for?
Why ask it
The delay is the story, and some of her friends heard her side of it as it happened. If she was the one who asked, keep the question and change the ending: why had he not got there first?
What was the first thing she talked you into doing?
Why ask it
A hike he was unfit for, a family wedding two months in, a haircut. It shows her in charge from early on, which goes down well with her own friends, and it hands him an easy story in which he was a good sport.
What did you get wrong about her early on?
Why ask it
An admission, not a compliment: he took her for quiet, or tidy, or someone who liked camping. Follow with what put him right, because that moment is the story and her friends may have heard it only from her side.
What is the most embarrassed you have ever been in front of her?
Why ask it
The joke lands on him, which keeps a room of her friends happy. Early dates supply most of these: a spilled drink, a wave at the wrong person, a confident wrong turn. A story where she is the embarrassed one is hers to tell, so steer him back if he drifts.
What did your family say about her after they met her?
Why ask it
The bride has probably never heard this, which is rare on a night made of stories she already knows. You want the exact words from whoever in his family is hardest to please. If the verdict was lukewarm, drop the question before you film.
What actually happened when you proposed, second by second?
Why ask it
The blow by blow beats the summary, because the interesting parts are the mistakes: the wrong pocket, the interruption, the weather. She may hear details she was too distracted to notice. If she was the one who proposed, ask what went through his head instead.
What is the best trip you have taken together, and what went wrong on it?
Why ask it
Every good trip has a missed train or a terrible room in it, and that is the half he should spend his time on. She can guess the trip before the clip plays, and she will have her own account of whose fault it was.
What is she like when she is planning something?
Why ask it
The guests have all been organized by her at some point, so they will know at once whether he is being accurate or polite. Ask for one detail: the spreadsheet, the color-coded list, the message sent at six in the morning. Leave it out if the wedding planning has been a sore subject.
What is the best story about her that only you know?
Why ask it
Risky without a rule, so give him one when you send the list: it has to be a story she would happily tell herself. Watch this clip first when you screen the recording, and check with whoever knows her best if you are unsure about it.
About Her
What color are her eyes?
Why ask it
A one-word answer, so any pause before it is the clip. Hazel and gray-green cause honest disputes, and when they do, the bride's own description is the one that counts.
What meal would she choose for her birthday dinner?
Why ask it
Favorite food, asked so that there is one right answer and the bride can be marked on it. Give him a bonus point for naming the restaurant or the person who has to cook it. Worth knowing in advance if there is still a dinner to book for the weekend.
What should we order for her tonight without asking?
Why ask it
The one answer you can act on: have the drink or the plate arrive at the table as the clip plays. It tests whether he knows what she has when she is out with friends, which may not be what she has with him.
What movie or show does she put on when she needs cheering up?
Why ask it
Most people are a little shy about their comfort watch, which is why the room enjoys hearing hers. Her oldest friends will shout the answer before she can. It also settles what goes on the TV back at the house later.
Which song does she know every word of?
Why ask it
You screen the clips anyway, so cue up whatever he names before the party starts. When his answer ends, press play and let her prove it or fail to. A song she is slightly ashamed of loving is the ideal result.
Who is her celebrity crush, and does she know that you know?
Why ask it
A harmless staple, and the second half is the funnier one. Have her write down who she thinks he will say, because she may have three and be unsure which he has noticed. Famous people only: exes and mutual friends are out.
What is her biggest pet peeve?
Why ask it
The best answers are tiny: slow walkers, loud chewing, a phone on speaker in public. She will want to defend hers at length, so leave a gap after this clip before the next one starts.
What is she most afraid of?
Why ask it
Meant for the small and specific: moths, deep water, phoning a stranger, the last step of an escalator. He should have a story about being called in to deal with it. If his answer is a serious fear, keep it off the reel.
What does she never leave the house without?
Why ask it
Lip balm, a charger or one particular water bottle, as a rule, and somebody can go through her bag on the spot to check. Ask her before the search, and take his word for it if she would mind.
Where would she fly tomorrow if the tickets were free?
Why ask it
Dream destination, with a deadline so that he commits to one place. A match shows he listens when she reads travel plans aloud from her phone. Leave it out if the honeymoon is a surprise, since he may give the game away without meaning to.
What nickname does she have for you, and where did it come from?
Why ask it
Pet names are mortifying out loud, and he is the one who has to say this one to a camera. The origin tends to be a misheard word or a vacation incident that takes him longer to explain than it deserves. A flat refusal to answer is worth filming too.
Him or Her
Who takes longer to get ready, and what is the holdup?
Why ask it
Everybody assumes the answer, so the clip is better when he owns up to being the slow one. The holdup is the part to keep: a missing shoe, a third outfit, a phone call that could have waited.
Who is the better cook, and what dish proves it?
Why ask it
Naming a dish stops him giving the diplomatic answer. The bride votes before the clip, and any guest who has eaten at their place gets the casting vote.
Who is the better driver, and who is the worse passenger?
Why ask it
Two titles to hand out, and one person can win both. The bride answers each half before the clip plays. If he claims the driving, ask the room who has sat in the back seat on a long trip with them.
Who says sorry first after an argument?
Why ask it
It asks who says it, never who was in the wrong, so nobody has to describe the argument. If he claims it is him and she laughs out loud, that laugh is the best moment of the round. One sentence from him is plenty.
Who is more stubborn, and what was the last standoff about?
Why ask it
Each is likely to name the other, so settle it by a show of hands from the guests. The standoff ought to be about something the size of a sofa cushion or a route to the airport. Anything heavier comes out in the edit.
Who falls asleep first when you put a movie on?
Why ask it
Low stakes and instantly recognizable, so it suits the opening minutes while people are still finding seats. A follow-up for the bride: how far into the last movie did the culprit get?
Who is the worse loser at a board game?
Why ask it
Ask him to name the game and the incident. Should he claim they are both gracious about losing, someone in the room has sat through a game night with them and will say otherwise.
Who is the more romantic one, and what is your evidence?
Why ask it
Evidence is the operative word: he has to produce an actual gesture, and the bride rules on whether it counts. A kind place to finish this round, because whichever way it goes somebody has been paid a compliment.
Her Friends
When did her friends decide you were acceptable?
Why ask it
Ask him to name the occasion: a night out, a moving day when he carried the sofa, a bad week when he turned up. Half the guests will remember it too, and one of them may announce that the decision is still pending.
Which of her friends did you meet first, and how did you do?
Why ask it
One guest gets pulled into the story, and she will remember the meeting her own way. Warn that friend it is coming so she has her verdict ready when the clip stops.
What does she do that makes her friends roll their eyes and makes you laugh?
Why ask it
Think of the voice she uses on the phone to her mother, or the story she tells with a new ending every time. The guests are the judges of this one: if they groan in recognition, he has it right.
What is she like around these friends that she is not like anywhere else?
Why ask it
He sees the before and after: the laugh that gets louder, the accent that comes back, the school nickname she answers to. It tells the guests what they bring out in her, which is a compliment to them as much as to her.
Which of her friends should you be most afraid of?
Why ask it
The room will start nominating itself before his clip plays, so let it. One name and one line of reasoning is all you keep. If the reason turns into a story about that friend, trim the clip to the name.
What is she like when she gets home from a night out with them?
Why ask it
The room never sees this part: whether she talks for an hour, makes toast, or falls asleep with her coat on. His answer tells her friends how much those nights matter to her, and nobody has to make a speech to say it.
What promise will you make to her friends, on camera?
Why ask it
Small promises work best because they can be checked: he will never let her phone die on a night out, he will always save her the last slice. Someone should write it down, since it may well be quoted back to him at the wedding.
Sweet
What is your favorite memory of the two of you?
Why ask it
Ask him for one afternoon, not a whole vacation or a year. The bride guesses before the clip plays, but a mismatch costs her nothing: she finds out which ordinary day he has been carrying around.
What is she braver about than you?
Why ask it
Praise with a comparison built in, which is harder to fake than a general tribute. Leaving a job, making a difficult phone call or sending back a wrong order are better answers than heights.
What is the kindest thing you have watched her do for someone else?
Why ask it
The bride would never tell this story about herself, which is why it should come from him. Ask for something he watched happen, not something he heard about. The person it happened to may be sitting in the room.
What does she do that turns a bad day around for you?
Why ask it
Look for an action small enough to picture: a particular cup of tea, a terrible impression, taking the dog out so he does not have to. If he says she is always there for him, ask what she did the last time.
What do you do now that you never did before you met her?
Why ask it
How she has changed him, asked through habits so the answer stays light: he owns a plant, he calls his grandmother, he eats vegetables. The bride can usually list three before he manages one, so let her go first.
What has she got you through?
Why ask it
Worth including even at a party, placed after the laughs and kept short. Say in advance that he can skip it, since the honest answer may involve a bereavement or a job loss he would rather not have played to a room.
What are you most looking forward to about being married?
Why ask it
The answers to keep are small and domestic: saying 'my wife' out loud, being done with seating plans, an ordinary Sunday. If he gives you a line that sounds like a vow, ask what he pictures on a plain Tuesday.
What do you think will go through your head when you first see her on the wedding day?
Why ask it
If he says he plans to hold it together, let the guests bet on it. Keep the clip short and place it near the end. Save it afterwards, because it is funnier still once everyone knows what he actually did.
What do you picture the two of you doing at seventy?
Why ask it
It asks for a scene, so it gets a porch, a dog and an argument about the thermostat in place of a statement about love. A good second-to-last clip, because it looks past the wedding to the marriage.
What do you want to say to her tonight, since you can't be in the room?
Why ask it
The last clip. Ask him to look into the lens and keep it to a sentence or two, because a long message turns into a speech and the room drifts. Nobody guesses on this one. Just play it.
Recording the groom for the party
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Getting usable answers
Send the questions, then film
Give him the list a few days ahead so he can pick his stories, then film in one sitting. Unprepared grooms give one-line answers, and rehearsed grooms give speeches; a few days is about right.
Sound matters more than picture
A phone at arm's length in a quiet room beats anything filmed in a bar. Test thirty seconds and play it back before you record the rest, because you will not get a second chance the night before.
One take, first answer
Tell him you want the first thing that comes to mind and no second attempts. The unpolished version is the one the room laughs at.
Screen it before you play it
Watch the whole recording alone and cut anything that names a guest unkindly, mentions money, or refers to something the bride has not made public.
Choosing from the list
Film more than you play
Send him fifteen to twenty and expect to play ten or twelve. Some answers will be flat and one or two will need cutting, and it is easier to drop a clip than to ask him for another sitting.
Mix the groups
Three or four Classics, a few from About Her or Him or Her for the guessing, one about her friends and two Sweet ones make a balanced reel. All quiz and the bride feels examined. All sentiment and the room goes quiet too early.
Guess first, then play
For the Classics, About Her and Him or Her groups, read the question aloud, get the bride's answer, then play his. Score it loosely: a point for a match and a small forfeit for a miss, or no scoring at all if she would rather just watch.
Open easy, close soft
Start with a question she is sure to match, such as the first date, and finish with a Sweet one. His message to her, or his picture of the two of them at seventy, is the natural last clip.
Playing it at the party
- Ten to twelve answers is enough. A long video loses the room, especially late in the evening.
- Put it early, while people can still hear and follow it, rather than after the night moves on.
- Pause after the best answers so guests can react. Playing straight through wastes them.
- Have the bride sit where everyone can see her face, since her reactions carry the segment.
- Keep a copy for the couple, and send them the clips you cut as well.
What to leave out
Her body and her past
Questions that rate her looks, and questions about anyone she dated before, land badly out loud and worse on a recording. Her eye color and a first-date outfit are as close as this list gets.
Children and fertility
Whether they plan to have children is a question many couples are tired of being asked, and for some it is a painful one. Leave it out of the video unless the bride has asked for it herself.
Anything that outs someone
Stories that reveal a guest's job situation, health, marriage trouble or private history are not his to tell. Cut them even if they are funny.
Questions she has not sanctioned
A surprise video is a good surprise; a surprise disclosure is not. Check the shape of the segment with whoever knows her best before the night.