Questions to Ask Medium
Questions to put to a medium before and during a reading. They cover how the session runs, fees and cancellation, what happens when nothing comes through, and the limits a careful practitioner sets on what they will discuss.
The questions
Open any question for the note
How long is a reading, what does it cost, and what happens if we run over?
Why ask it
Settle this before anything else so money is not being discussed while you are upset. Note whether the answer is a flat fee with a clear end time or something open-ended that can be extended mid-session.
How do you prefer to work: should I stay quiet at the start, or answer as you go?
Why ask it
Practitioners differ, and the answer tells you a lot. Someone who asks you to hold back confirmation until the end is making their job harder, which is usually a sign they are not relying on your reactions to steer them.
Do you want any details about me or about the person I hope to hear from beforehand?
Why ask it
Some ask for a first name only, some ask for nothing. If they want dates, photographs, or a summary of the death in advance, you are giving them material, and you will not be able to tell later what they knew.
May I record the session?
Why ask it
You will remember less than you expect, particularly if you are grieving. A refusal is worth asking about, since the common reasons given are about privacy or nerves rather than anything that should prevent a personal recording.
What do you do if nothing comes through?
Why ask it
A straightforward answer describes stopping early, rebooking, or not charging. An answer that says this never happens is worth pausing on, because it means every session produces something regardless of what is or is not there.
How would you describe what you actually experience during a reading?
Why ask it
Descriptions vary widely: images, phrases, physical sensations, a train of thought that does not feel like their own. What matters is whether they can describe it plainly in their own words rather than in borrowed vocabulary.
How do you tell the difference between your own thoughts and what you take to be a message?
Why ask it
The honest answers acknowledge that the line is not always clear. Someone who says they are certain every time has stopped examining their own process, and certainty is the thing least warranted here.
How often are you wrong, and what do you do when a detail lands nowhere?
Why ask it
Watch for whether the mistake stays a mistake. Reframing a miss as something you will understand later, or as a message for someone else in your family, is the mechanism by which a reading becomes impossible to get wrong.
What subjects do you not read on?
Why ask it
A practitioner with real limits will name them: no readings about a death that is still under investigation, none for children, nothing predictive about illness. No limits at all is itself the answer to the question.
Do you give guidance on health, money, or legal decisions?
Why ask it
This is the most consequential question on the list. A careful medium declines and refers you elsewhere. Anyone willing to advise you on treatment, a will, or a dispute is operating well outside what the setting can support.
How do you handle a reading for someone who has been recently bereaved?
Why ask it
Look for signs they think about timing and aftercare: a suggestion to wait, a shorter session, a check that you have someone to talk to afterwards. Eagerness to read for someone in the first raw weeks is a poor sign.
Have you ever turned someone away, and why?
Why ask it
A concrete example shows judgment being exercised, most often with someone in acute distress or looking for permission to make a serious decision. If they have never declined anyone, they are treating every enquiry as a booking.
How did you come to do this work, and did you train with anyone?
Why ask it
Useful for calibrating rather than credentialing, since there is no licensing here. Named teachers, a development circle, or years of unpaid practice tell you more than a description of a childhood gift.
Do you belong to any organisation with a code of conduct, and what does it require of you?
Why ask it
Membership is voluntary and not a guarantee, but a code usually covers fees, confidentiality, and refusing to read for minors. The important part is whether they can tell you what it says and whether there is anywhere to complain.
What is your cancellation and refund policy?
Why ask it
Get this in writing before you pay a deposit. Grief makes plans change, and a policy that keeps the full fee for any cancellation tells you how the practice is run as a business.
Do you sell anything else: further sessions, courses, objects, clearing or protection work?
Why ask it
The pattern to watch for is a reading that reveals a problem only a paid follow-up can solve. Any mention of a curse, an attachment, or trapped energy that requires additional payment is the point to stop and leave.
How do you keep what comes up in a reading private?
Why ask it
Ask specifically about notes, recordings, and social media, including whether readings are ever discussed as examples or used in teaching. People disclose a great deal in these sessions and rarely ask where it goes.
What do you say to someone who thinks this is cold reading?
Why ask it
You are testing composure rather than looking for a debate. Thoughtful practitioners have considered the objection and can engage with it; a defensive or dismissive reaction tells you how any doubt of yours will be received during the session.
If I leave the reading upset, what do you suggest I do?
Why ask it
A responsible answer involves people rather than more sessions: someone to call, a bereavement service, a suggestion not to make decisions that day. It also shows they have thought about what happens when the hour ends.
How soon would you say it is reasonable to come back, if at all?
Why ask it
Someone acting in your interest may well say not for a long while, or not at all. Encouragement to book a regular slot, particularly while you are grieving, is worth treating as a commercial answer rather than a considered one.
Booking and sitting a reading
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Before you book
Decide what you want from it
Comfort, curiosity, and answers are three different aims and only the first two are reliably available. If you are hoping to settle a factual question, about a cause of death or where something was left, expect that to remain unsettled afterwards.
Check timing
Grief in the early weeks is unstable and a reading can intensify it. Many practitioners will suggest waiting several months, and a willingness to say so is a reasonable thing to look for when you choose one.
Set your budget once
Agree the fee before the session and decide in advance that you will not add to it on the day. Sessions extended in the moment, and follow-ups booked while you are emotional, are the two most common ways people spend more than they meant to.
Tell them as little as possible
Give a first name and no more when you book. Details supplied in advance make it impossible to judge afterwards what came from you, which matters if the reading turns out to be something you want to weigh up later.
During the session
- Answer yes, no, or I do not know. Filling in around a vague statement is the single largest source of accuracy in any reading, and it comes from you.
- Avoid saying the name you are hoping for. Wait to see whether it arrives on its own.
- Keep track of what actually landed. Recording, or asking someone to write things down, gives you a version to look at when the emotion of the hour has passed.
- Say so if a detail is wrong, rather than letting it pass. How that gets handled tells you more than any correct detail will.
- You can end the session at any point. If it becomes distressing or the conversation turns to money, stopping is a reasonable thing to do.
Reasons to stop and leave
- Any mention of a curse, a hex, an attachment, or trapped energy that a further payment will resolve.
- A request for a large sum, cash, gift cards, or a transfer outside the agreed fee.
- Advice to stop or change medical treatment, or a prediction about an illness or a date of death.
- Pressure to make a financial or legal decision, or to change a will, on the basis of the reading.
- Refusal to state a fee in advance, or a fee that rises during the session.
- Asking you to keep the reading secret from your family, or discouraging you from talking it over with anyone.
Afterwards
Give it a few days before deciding what you make of it. Read your notes again once, and notice which details you supplied and which ones you did not. If it was comforting, that is a real thing to have had, and it does not need to be more than that. If it left you worse, tell someone you trust, and consider talking to a bereavement counsellor or your doctor rather than booking another session. Nothing in a reading should be used to decide anything about your health, your money, or your legal affairs.