20 Questions

Questions to Ask on a Speed Date

Essential questions to ask on a speed date that help you get to know someone quickly, create meaningful connections, and make the most of your limited time while having fun and being authentic.

1

What's something you're passionate about, and what gets you excited?

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Why this works

Opens the conversation in a positive way that allows them to share what they love and helps you understand their interests and passions.

2

What's the best adventure or experience you've had recently, and what made it special?

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Why this works

Important for understanding their lifestyle and helps you learn about their recent experiences and what they value in life.

3

What's something you're working on or learning right now, and how is it going?

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Why this works

Reveals their current focus and helps you understand what they're working on and how they approach learning and growth.

4

What's your idea of a perfect day, and how would you spend it?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding their preferences and helps you learn about their ideal lifestyle and how they like to spend their time.

5

What's something that always makes you laugh, and what's your sense of humor like?

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Why this works

Important for understanding their personality and helps you learn about their sense of humor and what they find funny.

6

What's something you're looking forward to, and what are your goals or dreams?

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Why this works

Reveals their future plans and helps you understand their goals, dreams, and what they're looking forward to.

7

What's something you're grateful for, and what brings you joy?

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Why this works

Shows you care about their well-being and gives them a chance to share what they're grateful for and what brings them happiness.

8

What's something you're curious about, and what would you like to explore?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding their curiosity and helps you learn about what they're interested in exploring and learning about.

9

What's something you're proud of, and what achievement means the most to you?

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Why this works

Important for understanding their values and helps you learn about their achievements and what they're proud of.

10

What's something you're looking for in a relationship, and what's important to you?

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Why this works

Reveals their relationship goals and helps you understand what they're looking for and what's important to them in a relationship.

11

What's something you're good at, and what skills or talents do you have?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding their abilities and helps you learn about their skills, talents, and what they're good at.

12

What's something you're working on improving, and how are you growing?

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Why this works

Important for understanding their growth mindset and helps you learn about what they're working on improving and how they approach personal development.

13

What's something you're excited about, and what's coming up in your life?

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Why this works

Reveals their current excitement and helps you understand what they're excited about and what's happening in their life.

14

What's something you're looking for in a partner, and what qualities are important to you?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding their partner preferences and helps you learn about what qualities they value in a partner.

15

What's something you're passionate about changing, and what causes matter to you?

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Why this works

Important for understanding their values and helps you learn about what causes they care about and what they want to change.

16

What's something you're looking forward to learning, and what interests you?

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Why this works

Reveals their learning interests and helps you understand what they want to learn about and what interests them.

17

What's something you're working on creating, and what projects are you involved in?

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Why this works

Critical for understanding their creativity and helps you learn about their projects and what they're creating.

18

What's something you're looking for in life, and what are your priorities?

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Why this works

Important for understanding their life priorities and helps you learn about what they're looking for in life and what matters most to them.

19

What's something you're excited to share, and what would you like me to know about you?

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Why this works

Reveals what they want to share and helps you understand what they'd like you to know about them and what they're excited to share.

20

What's something you're looking for in a connection, and what makes a good relationship?

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Why this works

Essential for understanding their relationship goals and helps you learn about what they're looking for in a connection and what makes a good relationship.

How to Ace Speed Dating: Essential Questions and Strategies

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Be Authentic and Genuine

Be yourself and ask questions that genuinely interest you. Authenticity is more attractive than trying to impress.

Listen Actively

Pay attention to their answers and ask follow-up questions. Show genuine interest in what they're saying.

Keep It Positive

Focus on positive topics and avoid controversial or negative subjects. Keep the conversation light and enjoyable.

Be Present

Stay focused on the conversation and avoid distractions. Give them your full attention during your time together.

Question Sequences

The Passion Sequence

1
Start with: 'What's something you're passionate about, and what gets you excited?'
2
Follow with: 'What's something you're working on or learning right now, and how is it going?'
3
Deepen with: 'What's something you're curious about, and what would you like to explore?'

The Lifestyle Sequence

1
Begin with: 'What's your idea of a perfect day, and how would you spend it?'
2
Explore with: 'What's something you're looking forward to, and what are your goals or dreams?'
3
Connect with: 'What's something you're looking for in a connection, and what makes a good relationship?'

Common Pitfalls

Don't Ask Personal Questions

Avoid asking overly personal questions about finances, past relationships, or family issues. Keep it light and fun.

Avoid Controversial Topics

Don't bring up politics, religion, or other controversial subjects. Focus on positive, neutral topics.

Don't Interrogate

Avoid asking too many questions in a row. Balance questions with sharing about yourself and listening.

Avoid Being Negative

Don't complain or be negative. Keep the conversation positive and upbeat.

Conversation Templates

The Interest Exploration

1
Step 1: Understand their passions and interests
2
Step 2: Explore their current projects and learning
3
Step 3: Discuss their goals and dreams
4
Step 4: Connect on their values and priorities

The Lifestyle Assessment

1
Step 1: Begin with their perfect day and lifestyle
2
Step 2: Explore their goals and future plans
3
Step 3: Discuss their relationship preferences
4
Step 4: Connect on what they're looking for

Further Reading

"Speed Dating Guide" by Dating Resources
"Dating and Relationships" by Relationship Institute
Speed Dating and Dating Resources
Dating and Relationship

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