20 Questions

Questions to Ask Your Crush

Engaging questions to build connection, create meaningful conversations, and discover more about someone you're interested in romantically.

1

What's something that always makes you smile?

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Why this works

Creates positive energy and reveals what brings them joy, helping you understand their values and what makes them happy.

2

If you could have dinner with anyone living or dead, who would it be?

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Why this works

Reveals their interests, values, and intellectual curiosity while being universally engaging and thought-provoking.

3

What's the most interesting thing you've learned recently?

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Why this works

Shows their intellectual curiosity and interests while revealing what kind of information or topics they find engaging.

4

What's something you're really passionate about?

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Why this works

Reveals their interests and values while showing what drives them and what they care deeply about.

5

If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?

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Why this works

Shows their sense of adventure and reveals their interests in different cultures, places, or experiences.

6

What's a goal you're working toward right now?

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Why this works

Reveals their ambitions and motivation while showing what they value and what they're committed to achieving.

7

What's something you're proud of accomplishing?

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Why this works

Celebrates their achievements and allows them to share their successes while building confidence and connection.

8

How do you like to spend your free time?

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Why this works

Reveals their interests and lifestyle while showing how they relax and what activities they enjoy.

9

What's something that always makes you laugh?

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Why this works

Creates humor and connection while revealing their sense of humor and what they find entertaining.

10

If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

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Why this works

Reveals their personality and values through their choice of power and how they would use it, showing their character and priorities.

11

What's the best advice you've ever received?

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Why this works

Shows their wisdom and reveals what advice has been most meaningful to them, providing insight into their values and experiences.

12

What's something you've always wanted to try but haven't yet?

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Why this works

Reveals their sense of adventure and shows what experiences or activities they find appealing or intriguing.

13

How do you handle stress or difficult situations?

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Why this works

Shows their coping strategies and resilience while revealing their approach to challenges and problem-solving.

14

What's something you're looking forward to?

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Why this works

Reveals their hopes and dreams while showing what they're excited about and what they value in their future.

15

What's a quality you admire in other people?

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Why this works

Reveals their values and shows what characteristics they find attractive or admirable in others.

16

If you could learn any skill instantly, what would it be?

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Why this works

Shows their interests and reveals what abilities or knowledge they find valuable or appealing.

17

What's something that always makes you feel better when you're down?

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Why this works

Reveals their coping strategies and shows what brings them comfort and joy during difficult times.

18

What's a dream you have for the future?

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Why this works

Reveals their aspirations and shows what they hope to achieve or experience in their life.

19

What's something you're grateful for today?

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Why this works

Creates positive energy and reveals what they value and appreciate in their life.

20

What's something that makes you feel most like yourself?

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Why this works

Reveals their authentic self and shows what activities, situations, or relationships make them feel most comfortable and genuine.

Best Practices for Crush Conversations

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Start with Light, Easy Questions

Begin with questions that are easy to answer but reveal personality. This creates comfort and builds rapport before diving into deeper topics.

Listen Actively and Show Genuine Interest

Pay attention to their answers and ask follow-up questions. This shows you're genuinely interested in getting to know them.

Be Yourself and Stay Authentic

Don't try to be someone you're not. Authenticity is attractive and helps build genuine connection based on who you really are.

Question Sequences

The Interest Discovery Sequence

1
What's something you're really passionate about?
2
What's the most interesting thing you've learned recently?
3
What's something you've always wanted to try?
4
If you could learn any skill instantly, what would it be?

The Personality Exploration Sequence

1
What's something that always makes you smile?
2
What's a quality you admire in other people?
3
What's the best advice you've ever received?
4
What's something that makes you feel most like yourself?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Make It an Interview

Space out your questions with natural conversation and your own thoughts. Avoid rapid-fire questioning that feels like an interrogation.

Don't Focus Only on Their Answers

Share your own thoughts and experiences too. Conversation is a two-way street, and sharing creates deeper connection.

Don't Rush Into Personal Topics

Build trust gradually. Avoid asking overly personal questions too early, as this can make them feel uncomfortable or pressured.

Conversation Templates

The Interest Explorer

1
Step 1: Start with: "What's something you're really passionate about?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "What's the most interesting thing you've learned recently?"
3
Step 3: Deepen with: "What's something you've always wanted to try?"
4
Step 4: Conclude with: "If you could learn any skill instantly, what would it be?"

The Personality Discovery

1
Step 1: Begin with: "What's something that always makes you smile?"
2
Step 2: Explore with: "What's a quality you admire in other people?"
3
Step 3: Investigate with: "What's the best advice you've ever received?"
4
Step 4: Clarify with: "What's something that makes you feel most like yourself?"

Further Reading

"The Art of Conversation" by Catherine Blyth
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie
"The Charisma Myth" by Olivia Fox Cabane

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