Questions to Ask Your Crush Over Text
Questions for texting a crush who may not know yet that you like them, written with a classmate in mind. The 81 questions run in the order a few weeks of texting tends to go, grouped as First texts, Getting to know them, Funny, Testing the waters, Flirty and Deeper. The notes cover what to do with a reply, including the one-word kind, how to tell politeness from interest and when to stop for the night.
Want questions from the whole vault instead? Try the random question generator.
The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
First texts
Hey, what was the homework for tomorrow?
Why ask it
Nobody wonders why a classmate is asking this, which is the point of it. Say thanks when they answer, then ask how far they have gotten with it themselves, and you are talking. If the page numbers are all that comes back, leave it there and count the thread as open.
Did you see what just happened in the group chat?
Why ask it
The move here is from the group chat to a private thread, with the chat as the excuse. It only works within a few minutes of whatever happened. A reply that carries the joke on is a good start, and 'lol yeah' is merely an answer, so let that one rest.
How do you think the test went?
Why ask it
Send it the same afternoon, while you are both still annoyed about question six. Ask how it felt and not what they scored, since nobody wants to trade grades with someone they barely know. Complaining about the same thing is one of the quicker ways two people end up on the same side.
Settle something for me: does a straw have one hole or two?
Why ask it
Any trivial dispute will do, provided you are really having it with a friend or a brother. People enjoy being the judge, and a firm ruling on straws costs them nothing to give. Tell them afterward who won because of their vote.
What are you doing tonight, anything good?
Why ask it
The reply is nearly always 'nothing, you?', so the text that matters is your second one. Have a real half ready, such as 'trying to make pancakes and losing', because that hands them a question to ask and 'same' hands them nothing. Keep it for evenings when you do have something going on.
Are you going on Friday, or are you skipping it?
Why ask it
Fill in the game, the dance or the concert most of your grade will be at. If they are going, tell them you will come and find them, and then you have a reason to cross the gym on the night. If they are skipping it, what they are doing instead is usually the more interesting answer.
Hey, it's me from third period. Is this the right number?
Why ask it
The text to send when a friend or a class group chat is where you found their number. Swap in your name and wherever they know you from, and say who gave you the number, because a message from an unknown sender is unsettling without that. Their reply saves your contact, and that is all this text needs to do.
Have you seen this yet?
Why ask it
The video, meme or picture you attach is doing the talking, so choose one that touches something they care about: their team, their dog's breed, the show they quote. Anything less personal looks like it went to ten people. A single laughing emoji back means it landed, and it also means the exchange is over for today.
What was that song you were telling everyone about?
Why ask it
Asking for something they recommended is a compliment to their taste. Listen to the whole thing before you answer, then name the part you liked, because 'it was good' ends the thread and 'the bit where it goes quiet' keeps it going.
I started that show you mentioned. Does it get better after episode two?
Why ask it
It shows you remembered a recommendation and acted on it, which few people do. Change the episode to wherever you really are. After that you can send a line each time something happens in it, and those are texts they will be glad to get.
Did you win today?
Why ask it
This one waits for the evening after their game, meet, debate or audition, anything with a result. A win gets you the highlights. A loss gets you a short reply, and the kind response to that is one line of sympathy and no questions about what went wrong.
Could you send me a picture of today's notes?
Why ask it
A small favor is easy to grant and leaves you owing them one, which is a pleasant thing to owe. Pay it back in something tiny and real, a saved seat or a snack from the machine, and say so in your thank-you. Only ask if you would truly use the notes.
Happy birthday! What's the plan for today?
Why ask it
A birthday message is the one text nobody finds strange, even from someone who has never texted them before. The question on the end is what separates yours from the forty that say only the two words. They will be busy, so a late or short answer today tells you nothing.
Can I ask you something random?
Why ask it
For when there is no homework, no game and no excuse. Have the random thing typed and ready before you send this, and take it from the Funny group, because leaving them waiting three minutes turns a small text into a mystery they start to worry about.
Getting to know them
What are you listening to right now?
Why ask it
'Right now' gets you an actual title, where asking about taste in general gets a shrug. Put it on while you are still texting and say which part you liked. If their room is silent, ask what is at the top of their most recent playlist.
Do you have a pet, and can I see a photo?
Why ask it
Pet owners need very little persuading, and a photo arriving in the thread makes it feel less like an interview. Learn the animal's name and use it later. For someone without a pet, ask which one they would get if nobody at home could say no.
What's your order when someone says they're going to get food?
Why ask it
Quick to answer and easy to argue with, which suits texting. The details matter here: no pickles, extra sauce, the large fries. Save it in your notes app, because the day you hand them exactly that without asking will say more than a week of good texts.
What do your weekends usually look like?
Why ask it
You find out about the job, the team, the family obligations or the long sleep-ins, and from that, when they are free and when a text will sit unread. It also sets up a later question about one particular weekend without making this one feel loaded.
What's your favorite class this year, and is it the subject or the teacher?
Why ask it
The second half is what gets a sentence instead of a single word. If it is the teacher, ask for the best thing that teacher has said. If they insist every class is terrible, ask which one is the least bad and why.
What was the best part of your day?
Why ask it
A friendlier way of asking how their day was, since 'good' cannot answer it. On a bad day the best part may be 'getting home', and then the kind follow-up is to ask whether they want to complain about the rest. Then tell them yours, asked or not.
What's the last photo in your camera roll?
Why ask it
A question that only makes sense on a phone. Let them describe the picture instead of sending it if they would rather, and never push for it. Be ready to describe yours, even if it is a blurry shot of a worksheet.
How late do you usually stay up?
Why ask it
Partly curiosity, and partly a schedule for you. Someone who says eleven should not find you still asking questions at half past twelve on a school night. Wrap up while the replies are still quick, and tomorrow's thread starts warm.
What's a movie you've seen so many times you could recite it?
Why ask it
The rewatched favorite is more honest than the one people name to sound impressive. Ask them for one line from it, typed from memory. If you have not seen it, say so plainly and ask whether you should.
What game are you playing these days, if any?
Why ask it
This can mean a console, a phone game, a sport or a card game with their grandfather, and all of those are answers. Where it can be played online by two, ask for their username. A match against each other gives you a reason to message that is not a question.
What do you do outside school: a sport, a job, a club?
Why ask it
A classroom shows you about an hour of someone's day, and this fills in the rest. The first thing on their list tends to be the one they would keep if they had to drop the others, so ask about that. Note which evenings it takes up, because their replies will be slow on those.
If you could go anywhere this summer, where would you pick?
Why ask it
Daydreaming costs nothing by text, and people tend to type more about a place they want to see than about their actual plans. Ask who they would bring and what they would eat first. A person who would rather stay home with their friends has also told you something true.
What can you do that would surprise people in our class?
Why ask it
Baking, card tricks, fixing bikes, a second language spoken at home. Be impressed in a specific way and ask how they learned it. If a photo or a clip of it exists, they may send one, but let that be their idea.
Do you have brothers or sisters, and are they annoying or secretly great?
Why ask it
The either-or on the end turns a fact into a story, usually about a little brother who reads their messages or an older sister who drives them places. An only child can be asked whether they ever wished for one. If the answer is short, move on, since family is not always an easy subject.
What's on your lock screen right now?
Why ask it
Some people have their dog there, some their team or their friends, and some never changed the wallpaper the phone came with. Each is a different conversation, and the last kind is fun to tease gently. If it is a photo of friends, ask who everyone is.
Funny
Which emoji do you use way too much?
Why ask it
Their keyboard keeps the evidence, so this takes five seconds to answer. Guess theirs before they tell you, going on the messages you already have, and let them guess yours. Knowing it helps you read them later: the friend who signs off every message with a crying face is usually fine.
Would you rather have every text you send read out in class, or never use emojis again?
Why ask it
Both halves of a would-you-rather have to hurt, and for anyone who lives on their phone these two do. Ask which message from this week they would least want read out, and offer yours. One of these a night is enough, since five in a row turns into a quiz.
What's your worst autocorrect disaster?
Why ask it
Everybody has sent the wrong word to the wrong person, often a parent or a coach. The story is short, easy to type, and ends with them laughing at themselves. Trade one of yours, even a mild one.
What three emojis sum up your day?
Why ask it
Good for a night when they seem tired, because it asks for no typing at all. Then guess the story the three are telling, and get it wrong on purpose. Correcting you takes them a full sentence, which is how a one-word evening turns around.
What's the worst haircut you've ever had, and is there photo evidence?
Why ask it
Usually a school picture from age nine, and usually a parent's idea. Do not demand the photo. If it arrives, the only acceptable reactions are delight and a matching bad photo of your own, and it never gets forwarded.
What's the strangest thing in your room right now?
Why ask it
They are probably answering from their bedroom, so they only have to look up. Expect a traffic cone, a trophy from second grade or a plant that should have been thrown out in March. Ask how it got there, and do not ask for a picture of the room.
What's a hill you'll die on that doesn't matter at all?
Why ask it
Socks in bed, the correct way to pack a backpack, whether a cover can be better than the original. Disagree with them a little, since a pretend argument is the best thing a text thread can hold. Concede in the end, or declare it a tie and bring it up next week.
What's the dumbest thing you believed as a little kid?
Why ask it
Chocolate milk from brown cows, a tiny man inside the traffic light, the moon following the car. Everyone was wrong about something at five, so nobody loses face by admitting it. Go first if they stall.
What's the last thing that made you laugh out loud when nobody else was around?
Why ask it
Usually it was a video, so say you want to see it. Now you know what they find funny, which matters more than what they say they find funny. If it does nothing for you, do not fake a laugh. Call it strange and ask for another.
Want to play this or that? First one: pancakes or waffles?
Why ask it
A game gives you both permission to keep going without needing a topic. Take turns asking, keep each round to one message, and stop at about ten while it is still fun. The pairs get more personal as you go if you let them, which is the hidden use of it.
Two truths and a lie: can you spot mine?
Why ask it
Send your three statements in the same message so they have something to work on at once. Make the lie boring and one of the truths unlikely. Then it is their turn, and whichever of their truths surprises you is the next thing to ask about.
What's the weirdest dream you've had lately?
Why ask it
Dreams are long to type, so a real answer here means they are happy to spend the time on you. Skip the interpretation and ask what happened next. If they say they never remember their dreams, tell them a ridiculous one of yours instead.
What's the worst nickname anyone has ever given you?
Why ask it
Behind it there is a cousin, a coach or a substitute teacher who read the name wrong off the roll. Laugh at the story and leave the nickname where it is. Using it later, especially in front of other people, is how a funny text becomes a sore one.
Testing the waters
Is it okay if I text you about things that aren't homework?
Why ask it
For the point where the excuses are running out. It is honest about what you have been doing, and most people find that funny and a bit sweet. 'Obviously' is a welcome. A reply that steers back to the assignment is a polite fence, and you should stay on your side of it.
Do you like texting, or do you just put up with it?
Why ask it
Ask this before you decide what their short replies mean. Someone who dislikes typing sends 'ok' and 'lol' to their best friend too, and often comes alive in person or on a call. If they love texting and you still get one word at a time, that tells you something else.
Would you have texted me first if I hadn't?
Why ask it
Sent with a grinning emoji it is a tease, and the answer still counts. 'Probably not, I'm bad at that' is about them. 'I was going to' is worth believing only if they have, at some point, started a conversation with you themselves.
Did you know who I was before we started talking?
Why ask it
You are asking whether they had noticed you, in a form they can answer as plain fact. A specific memory, where you sat or something you said in class, is a good sign. 'Kind of' is neutral, so do not ask for more.
Are you dating anyone right now?
Why ask it
The factual question, and better asked in week one than in week six. If the answer is yes, be friendly about it and leave the Flirty group alone. 'No, why?' is a question back, and 'just wondering' with a grin is a fair answer for now.
How do you act around someone you like: louder, quieter or exactly the same?
Why ask it
A question about them in general that happens to hand you a way to read them. If they say quieter, their shyness in the hallway may not be the bad news you took it for. Keep your conclusions to yourself and just watch for it.
What kind of person do you usually end up liking?
Why ask it
Some answers describe a personality and some describe a face, and it is worth noticing which one you got. There is no need to match it line by line, and you should not start acting it out the next day. If they turn the question back on you, describe qualities and not them, unless you are ready for that conversation.
Is there anyone you like right now? You're allowed to say pass.
Why ask it
The question this whole group has been walking toward, with the exit built in. The hopeful reply is a 'maybe' that turns straight around into 'why, do you?'. If they name somebody else, say something kind and mean it. Guessing names is off the table either way.
Has anyone ever told you they liked you over text? How did that go?
Why ask it
You learn how they would take a confession by message before you send one. Some people found it sweet and some felt cornered by it, and they will say which. Who it was is none of your business, so leave the name out of your follow-up.
Are you around this weekend, or fully booked?
Why ask it
It asks about their time without yet asking for any of it. Someone interested who is busy tends to say when they are free instead: 'Saturday is packed but Sunday I'm doing nothing.' A plain 'pretty busy' with nothing after it is usually politeness, and it deserves a cheerful 'have fun'.
Want to go over the notes together before Thursday's test?
Why ask it
A very low-risk invitation, because it has a purpose and an end time, and it can happen in the library or on a call. Change the day to fit. A yes is not a declaration, but someone who would rather keep their distance will usually say they study better alone.
Want me to save you a seat tomorrow?
Why ask it
This takes a conversation that lives on a phone and puts it in a room, which is the real test of whether the texting means anything. Keep it casual and for one specific class, lunch or bus ride. If they say their friends already save one, answer 'no worries' and say hi tomorrow anyway.
Should I let you get some sleep?
Why ask it
An offer to stop that doubles as a small test. Someone who wants you there will insist they are not tired, usually while being plainly tired. 'Yeah, I'm exhausted' is just the truth, so say goodnight in one message and do not add three more.
Can I text you again tomorrow?
Why ask it
Nobody needs permission to send a text, so asking is really a way of saying you enjoyed this. An easy yes, or better, 'you'd better', makes it a good note to end the night on. Then do it, at a normal hour, with something to say.
Flirty
Do you always reply this fast, or am I getting special treatment?
Why ask it
It only works when they really have been quick, and it tells them you noticed. Expect a denial, followed by a reply that arrives just as fast. If the next message takes an hour on purpose, that is a joke at your expense, and you should enjoy it.
What should I save you as in my phone? You get to pick.
Why ask it
It tells them they are staying in your contacts, and the choice is theirs to play with. A nickname or an emoji after the name means they are enjoying this, so use exactly what they chose and do not improve on it. Their plain first name is a fine answer too, and no reason to ask what they saved you as.
Did you just laugh for real, or was that a polite 'haha'?
Why ask it
Teasing them about a 'haha' is a way of saying you care whether they are having fun. Someone who is will defend the laugh, sometimes with a voice note or a row of capitals. Use it once. Asked after every joke, it turns into fishing for reassurance.
What's a compliment you'd actually believe?
Why ask it
Plenty of people shrug off praise about their looks and hold on to praise about their work, their humor or their kindness, and this asks which is which. Whatever they answer, do not paste it straight back to them. Wait until you see them do the thing, then say it.
What's a first date you'd actually enjoy: a movie, food or just walking around?
Why ask it
Three ordinary choices keep it realistic for people with no car and not much money. Nothing in the question mentions you, so they can answer freely. Remember what they pick, because you will want it for the last question in this group.
Would a good morning text from me be nice, or way too early?
Why ask it
You are floating the idea before doing it, which is kinder than a surprise message at 6:40. If they say nice, send one in a few days, not every morning from tomorrow. If they say they cannot form words before ten, believe them and keep to the afternoon.
Would it be weird if I said your name is my favorite one to see pop up on my phone?
Why ask it
A compliment wrapped in a question, so they can accept it by simply saying 'not weird'. It needs several good days of texting behind it, and it falls flat on the first night. If the reply is 'haha thanks' and a new topic, go with the new topic and let the line go.
If we ended up at the same thing this weekend, would you come over and say hi?
Why ask it
Hypothetical enough to be safe, and the answer shows whether the ease on the phone would survive a room. 'Of course' is good. 'Only if you come over first' is a dare, and you should take it.
What's the first word that comes to mind when you think of me?
Why ask it
One word is the kind of answer a phone is good for, and they will probably pick a safe one such as 'funny' or 'tall'. Have a word for them ready, because they will ask, and make it about who they are and not how they look. 'Annoying' with a laughing emoji counts as affection.
What song would you put on a playlist for me?
Why ask it
A shy person can say a lot with a song title, so look up the lyrics before you reply. A joke song is still an answer, and it means they are comfortable enough to tease you. Offer one for them in return and say why in a single line.
What would you do if I showed up with your favorite snack tomorrow?
Why ask it
Sweet more than bold, and it only works if you already know the snack or ask for it now. Then bring it, quietly, without making a scene in the hallway. A flirt that turns into a real bag of chips is worth ten clever messages.
Am I allowed to say I missed talking to you today?
Why ask it
This fits the evening after a quiet day, when one of you was too busy to text. It is the most direct line in the group so far, so keep it until they have been starting conversations too. If you get 'aw' and nothing more, that is polite and not warm, and you can step back to the Funny group.
I think I like talking to you a little too much. Is that a problem?
Why ask it
Not quite a confession, but everyone can see one from here. 'Not a problem' is good and 'same' is better. An awkward joke in reply could be nerves or a soft no, and since a screen will not tell you which, ease off for a few days and see whether they come to you.
Do you want to hang out this weekend, just you and me?
Why ask it
The texting was for getting here. Name the thing they said they would enjoy, a day and a rough time, so they are answering a plan and not an idea. If they cannot come and suggest another day, that is a yes with a scheduling problem. If they cannot come and leave it there, 'no worries, see you Monday' keeps Monday easy.
Deeper
What's on your mind tonight?
Why ask it
Wait until texting each other most nights is normal, and send it on an evening when the joking has wound down. They get to choose between something small and something real. If it is something real, respond to what they said instead of trying to fix it, and do not screenshot it for anyone.
What's been stressing you out lately?
Why ask it
By text they can answer at whatever length feels safe, from 'chemistry' to three paragraphs about home. Match the size of what they send. If it sounds bigger than the two of you, listening is enough, and it is fair to ask whether an adult they trust knows about it.
What do people at school assume about you that isn't true?
Why ask it
Answers such as 'they think I'm stuck up, I'm just quiet' tell you how they believe they come across, and you may have assumed the same thing on the first day. Say what you see now that you know them a little. A long gap before the reply is a good sign here, because it means they are thinking.
What do you want to do once school is over for good, if nobody else got a vote?
Why ask it
The last clause is there because the usual answer belongs to a parent or a guidance counselor. A plan with details in it, a city, a trade, a team, means they have been turning it over for a while. 'No idea' is an honest answer at this age, and 'same' is a good reply if it is true.
What's a small moment from this year that you keep thinking about?
Why ask it
Asking for a small moment keeps out the rehearsed answers, the trophy and the trip, and gets you the bus ride or the joke in the kitchen. Ask who else was there. Share yours once they have finished, not on top of theirs.
What do you daydream about when you're supposed to be paying attention?
Why ask it
Gentler than asking about goals, and the answers are truer: a city, a stage, a van, a quiet house with a dog. Ask them to describe one scene from it. Whether it is realistic is not your call to make.
What are you proud of that you never get to bring up?
Why ask it
Most people have one thing they would love to brag about and no polite way to do it. Give them the room by asking how long it took and who noticed. Mention it again in a week, because someone remembering is the reward.
What do you wish people asked you about more often?
Why ask it
They are handing you the topic they have been waiting for, so ask about it right away and again another day. It may be something nobody at school connects with them, such as a grandparent, a faith or a place they used to live. Let them go on longer than usual.
Is there anything that's easier for you to type than to say out loud?
Why ask it
Many people are braver through a screen, and hearing them say so explains why the hallway version of them is quieter. Anything they tell you here needs care the next day: no teasing, no mention in front of friends. If the answer is 'not really', they are an in-person talker, so go and talk to them.
What scares you that you don't usually tell people?
Why ask it
Late at night this gets honest answers: being left out, disappointing a parent, not knowing what comes after school. Send one of your own first so it is a trade. It is never material for a joke later, and if it is heavy, a call or a talk in person will do it more justice than a thread.
Did you think we'd end up talking this much?
Why ask it
A look back that only makes sense once the texting is routine. It invites both of you to admit you are glad about it without anyone making a speech. If you have not yet seen each other outside school, their answer is the opening to suggest it.
How to text a crush with these questions
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Starting and pacing the thread
Give the first text a reason
A first message lands best when it has a job: a homework question, a link, a result to ask about. The First texts group is all reasons of that kind. A bare 'hey' makes the other person do the work of finding a subject, and many people leave it unanswered simply because they cannot think what to say.
Use the groups in order
The list runs the way a few weeks of texting tends to run. First texts open the thread, Getting to know them and Funny fill the evenings after that, Testing the waters is for when they have begun answering at length, and Flirty waits until those tests have come back warm. Deeper belongs to the stage where a day without a message would feel odd to both of you.
Send one, then wait
Stack several questions in a single text and you will hear back about one of them, usually the least interesting. Ask one thing, react to the answer in a full sentence, and only then ask another. Two or three questions from this page in an evening is plenty, and the rest of the conversation should be whatever their answers started.
Trade answers
Every question here should have your answer close behind it, offered without being asked. A thread where one person asks and the other answers feels like a form being filled in. On the personal ones, send yours first.
Reading the replies
What to do with a one-word reply
One 'lol' or 'yeah' means very little: they may be at dinner, in the car or half asleep. Answer it with a statement instead of another question, something they can pick up or leave, and then put the phone down. If the next day's reply is one word again, and the day after that, the pattern is the message, and the right move is to stop starting conversations for a while.
How interest looks on a screen
Look at what they add, not how fast they answer. Interest shows up as questions back to you, details nobody asked for, a message that begins a new subject, and now and then a thread they started themselves. Speed and emoji count vary too much from person to person to mean anything.
Telling politeness from interest
A kind person answers what they are asked, and that can go on for weeks. If every reply is an answer and never a question, and they have not once texted first, you are probably being treated politely by someone who does not want to be rude. Nobody has done anything wrong, and seeing it early saves you a confession that would put them in a hard spot.
Hours of silence
People have practice, shifts, family dinners and phones that get taken away at night. A quiet afternoon says nothing about you. A nudge such as 'you there?' turns their busy evening into something they have to apologize for, so leave the thread alone and say nothing about the wait when they come back.
Knowing when to stop
Stopping for the night
The time to say goodnight is when the replies are still coming quickly, not when they have dwindled to 'haha'. Leaving first, with a line like 'I have to sleep, tell me how the quiz goes', gives tomorrow's conversation a starting point. On a school night, a thread that runs past midnight costs you both the next morning.
When they stop answering
One unanswered text is a busy evening. If a second, sent a day or more later on a different subject, also gets nothing, put the thread down and leave it down until they write. When they do, pick up as though no time had passed, because for them it may simply have been a full week.
Taking a no
Few people type the word no. What arrives is a change of subject after a flirty line, an invitation left hanging, or the name of someone else they like. Answer with something short and friendly and go back to being a classmate. Asking why, asking again next week and going cold on them in the hallway all make it worse.
What to keep off the phone
Screenshots
Their messages were written for one reader. Passing a screenshot to your friends so they can decode it is how a private joke ends up in a group chat, and these things have a way of reaching the person who wrote them. Ask a friend for advice in your own words, and write only what you could stand to see passed around yourself.
Big confessions late at night
Past midnight everything feels urgent and a paragraph about your feelings seems like a good idea. Write it in your notes app and read it after breakfast. If it still seems right, a shorter version said in daylight, or in person, gives them a fair chance to answer well.
Photos and personal details
Never ask for a photo they have not offered, and do not send any picture you would mind a parent or a teacher seeing. The same goes for their location, their passwords and a look at their other chats. A question that would be strange to ask out loud in the lunch line is strange by text too.
Letting a friend write your messages
A friend's line may be funnier than yours, but then the person they are getting to know is not quite you, and it comes apart the first time you talk face to face. Take advice on whether to send something. Write the words yourself.
Never speaking in person
Some pairs text for months and never talk at school, and the longer it goes the harder a simple hello becomes. Say hi in person within the first week or two, even if it is only a nod and a word about last night's conversation. The seat and study questions under Testing the waters are there for this.