Questions to Ask Your Elf on the Shelf
Questions a child can leave in a note beside the family's scout elf, chosen with the grown-up in mind who has to write the answer in very small handwriting before morning. The 49 questions follow the order a December tends to take: Your elf, North Pole, Elf magic, Reports, Santa's team and Goodbye. Begin at the top in the elf's first week, keep the last group for the days before Christmas Eve, and read the page when no small person is looking over your shoulder.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Your elf
Do you like the name we picked for you?
Why ask it
The name usually came from the children, so what they want to read first is that the elf loves it. Add a nickname only the other elves use, and write it down where you will find it next December.
How old are you in elf years?
Why ask it
Answering in Christmases is easier than answering in years: this is my 212th. Pick the number carefully, since a child who likes sums will expect it to go up by exactly one next winter.
What is your favorite thing to eat?
Why ask it
Sweet things are the tradition, from candy canes to cookie crumbs to a drop of syrup. Name something already in your cupboard, because a small plate will be left out tonight and a bite needs to be missing by morning.
Why did Santa send you to our house?
Why ask it
What a child hopes to read is that the elf asked for this family. One true detail, the loud dog or the Saturday pancakes, works as proof that the elf has been paying attention.
Can you talk, or do you only write notes?
Why ask it
The usual story is that a scout elf stays silent and still whenever people are awake. A reply along the lines of 'I save my voice for Santa, but I can always write to you' sets up the note exchange for the rest of the month.
What do you do all day while we are at school?
Why ask it
It lets the elf report something small about the empty house, like when the mail came or where the cat napped. Stick to things that really happened: a child who was home sick that day will know if no mail arrived.
Which hiding spot in our house has been your favorite so far?
Why ask it
Name one place from the past week and one the elf still wants to try. The second half is a promise, so choose somewhere you can reach quietly at eleven at night.
Why did you make such a mess last night?
Why ask it
Only for a house where the elf plays tricks: snow angels in spilled flour, toothbrushes lined up along the banister. Let it own up cheerfully and blame high spirits after a long flight. Avoid promising a bigger mess tomorrow, because you are the one who has to make it.
North Pole
What is it like at the North Pole?
Why ask it
The widest question on the list, so answer with one small scene and not a tour: gingerbread baking in the kitchens, snow that squeaks underfoot, a workshop bell at six. Whatever you leave out becomes the next few nights' questions.
Where do you sleep at the North Pole?
Why ask it
Tiny, exact details carry this one: a matchbox drawer, a mitten for a sleeping bag, the bunk above a friend. A child who likes making things may build the bed from a tissue box, so describe something that can be copied.
What is your job when it is not December?
Why ask it
A scout elf needs work for the other eleven months. Give one task a child can picture, such as testing how high the rubber balls bounce or sorting letters by continent, and let the elf grumble about it a little, which makes it sound like a real job.
Do you have a mom and dad, or brothers and sisters?
Why ask it
Some households give the elf parents and a little sister, and others say the whole workshop is its family. Giving it a brother or sister the same age as one of your own children hands them something in common to write about.
Did you have to go to elf school?
Why ask it
Well timed for a child who has just started school or is grumbling about it. Subjects such as quiet landing, small handwriting and sleigh safety turn the reply into a short list, which is quick to write late at night.
What do elves do for fun?
Why ask it
Sledding on cookie trays, snowball tag, hide and seek that lasts for days. If the reply mentions a game your child can play too, expect to find it set up in front of the elf the next afternoon.
Is it really dark all day at the North Pole in winter?
Why ask it
The real far north does go without daylight in midwinter, so this has a true answer and a curious child may look it up. Let the elf be right about it, then add what lights the workshop: lanterns, the northern lights, a certain red nose.
What do you miss about home while you are staying with us?
Why ask it
Asked by the child who wants to know whether the elf is happy here. Pair the thing it misses with something it likes better at your house, so the reply does not read as homesick.
Can you bring me something back from the North Pole?
Why ask it
Set the scale with the first delivery, because the request will come again. A candy cane, a sticker or a snowflake cut from paper is the right size, and anything larger invites a list. An elf that says it has to travel light has a reason ready for the nights it brings nothing.
Elf magic
How do you get back to the North Pole every night?
Why ask it
Settle your version before you write, since everything else the elf says hangs on it: plain Christmas magic, a lift from a snow goose, a door only elves can see. Brothers and sisters compare replies, and the method has to match.
How long does the flight take?
Why ask it
Children want a number here. 'About as long as it takes you to brush your teeth' is easier to picture than a speed, and it explains how the elf is always back before breakfast.
What time do you leave our house?
Why ask it
Underneath it is a plan to stay up and watch. An answer tied to sleep, such as once the last person in the house has dozed off, gives the elf's own reason for staying in bed.
How do you get out when the doors are locked?
Why ask it
Part of this is a child checking that the house is safe at night. Keep the method small and magical, a keyhole is plenty for an elf, and have the reply say outright that nothing is ever left open.
Why can't we touch you?
Why ask it
The reason most often given is that a touch drains the magic the elf needs for the flight home. A child who asks is often confessing, so put your household's cure in the reply, whether that is a pinch of cinnamon beside the elf or a written sorry.
What happens if the dog or the baby knocks you over?
Why ask it
Pets and toddlers do grab the elf, and an older child can be in tears about ruined magic. Have the elf explain that accidents by anyone too young or too furry to know the rule do not count.
Why were you in the same spot this morning?
Why ask it
This one arrives the morning after you forgot. The stock excuses are a storm over the North Pole, a view too good to give up, or somebody awake too late to risk moving. Rotate them, because the same excuse twice in a week gets noticed.
Will you come with us when we go away for Christmas?
Why ask it
Answer from your actual travel plans. If the elf is coming, it can promise to be waiting when the family arrives; if not, give it a job at home, such as guarding the tree. Pack it out of sight either way.
Are you real, or do Mom and Dad move you?
Why ask it
A child who puts this in writing is often ready for a conversation, and another elf note may not be the right reply. Plenty of parents answer in person, starting with 'What do you think?' A child who says they hope it is real has told you which answer they want this year.
Reports
What do you tell Santa about me?
Why ask it
The whole tradition is built around this question. Lead with two things your child did well and name them exactly, such as sharing the last waffle or reading to a sister, since 'you have been good' reads like a form letter.
Do you tell Santa when I make a mistake?
Why ask it
Usually written the morning after a hard evening. A kind reply is that the elf reports the whole day, including the sorry and the second try, and that one bad night decides nothing. Resist turning the answer into a warning.
Can you see the nice list, and is my name on it?
Why ask it
An elf is allowed to say it only carries the news and never sees the list. That keeps the reply warm, stops the elf from becoming a judge, and leaves the last word with Santa.
What is the kindest thing you have seen me do?
Why ask it
Have a real example in mind before you pick up the pen, and name the day it happened. Replies to this one tend to get kept in a drawer, and some children repeat the kind thing the next day to see whether it is noticed again.
Do you tell Santa about the grown-ups too?
Why ask it
Asked for the fun of getting a parent in trouble, so be a good sport. Let the elf reveal one small grown-up crime, like cookies eaten after bedtime.
Can you see me when I am in my room?
Why ask it
Some children do not like the thought of being watched, and this is how it comes out. Set limits in the reply: the elf stays where it was put, follows nobody, and is looking for kind moments to pass along.
Will you take my letter to Santa?
Why ask it
Yes is the only workable answer, which means the letter has to vanish overnight. Put it somewhere safe, because these are worth keeping and you may be asked next week whether he read it.
Can you tell Santa I changed my mind about my list?
Why ask it
Read this as an early warning that the wish has moved. The elf can promise to pass the message on without promising the present, and the same note can ask what the new favorite is.
Santa's team
What is Santa like when he is not delivering presents?
Why ask it
Small habits are more convincing than praise. He hums while he reads the mail, loses his glasses on top of his own head, falls asleep in the big chair: one of those is enough.
Have you met Mrs. Claus?
Why ask it
She is often cast as the one who looks after the elves, so the reply can be fond: she mends hats and knows every name. Leave the question out if your family's version of the story has no Mrs. Claus in it.
Who is your favorite reindeer?
Why ask it
An elf can have a favorite where Santa has to stay neutral. Pick Rudolph or one of the eight from the old poem and give a reason at elf size, such as being allowed to ride between the antlers.
Have you ever ridden in the sleigh?
Why ask it
A yes hands you a story to tell. 'Not yet, scouts ride home in it on Christmas Eve' does more, because it makes the elf's departure sound like a prize.
Do you know the elves who live at my friends' houses?
Why ask it
Children compare notes at school, and somebody's elf always brings treats or makes bigger messes. A reply that the scouts all trained together and each has a different style explains the gap without promising to match it.
Who is your best friend among the elves?
Why ask it
Invent a single friend with a name and one habit, then stop. A second character is fun to mention all month, and a crowd of them is impossible to keep straight.
Do elves ever get in trouble?
Why ask it
A child who has recently been told off likes hearing that elves slip up as well. Keep the offense harmless, sliding down the workshop banister for instance, and end the story with the elf being forgiven.
Have you ever made a toy yourself?
Why ask it
Scouting and toy building can be separate jobs, which allows the answer 'one, and it wobbled.' Close the note by asking what your child would build at a workbench, and tomorrow's question is taken care of.
Goodbye
When do you have to go back for good?
Why ask it
Most families send the elf home with Santa on Christmas Eve, and some keep it a little longer. Give your date in the first half of the month, so the empty shelf is expected when the morning comes.
Why can't you stay with us all year?
Why ask it
What is really being said is 'I will miss you.' Let the elf say the same back, then give a reason that belongs to its job: the workshop starts again in January and every pair of hands is needed.
Can I give you a hug before you leave?
Why ask it
Some families lift the no-touching rule for one goodbye on the last night. If yours does, have the elf offer it in writing first, so nobody feels they are breaking a rule to do it.
What should I leave out for you on Christmas Eve?
Why ask it
Ask for something tiny that is already in the house: half a cookie, a thimble of milk, a doll's scarf for the cold ride. Crumbs on the saucer in the morning are the elf's last message.
Can I write to you after Christmas?
Why ask it
Think about the workload before the elf agrees. One reply in January, or a letter waiting on the first day of next December, is a kinder promise than a year of mail you will not keep up with.
Will you be our elf again next year?
Why ask it
Promise only what you plan to do. If the tradition is carrying on, a plain yes is the best line in the note; if your children are growing out of it, the elf can say scouts are sent wherever they are needed most.
What was your favorite day at our house this year?
Why ask it
Save it for the farewell note. Choose a day your child remembers too, the snow day or the burned gingerbread, and the goodbye turns into a keepsake of the month.
Running a note exchange with a scout elf
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Getting the question to the elf
Keep this page to yourself
The notes under the questions are written to the adult who moves the elf, and several of them say so outright. Choose the questions yourself and suggest them out loud, or copy a few onto paper for a child who wants ideas. Keep the page itself off any screen a young reader can see.
One question a night
A page of ten questions gets ten thin answers and a tired parent. Ask your child to choose the one they most want to know, and the rest will keep for the nights that follow. A single question also leaves room for the elf to ask something back.
Give the mail a fixed place
Pick a spot that travels with the elf or stays put all month: a small envelope taped to the shelf, a mug, a clothespin on the tree. Notes are left there at bedtime, close to the elf and not touching it. A fixed place also means you are not hunting for a folded scrap of paper at midnight.
Children who cannot write yet
A three- or four-year-old can say the question out loud to the elf at bedtime, draw it, or tell it to an older sibling who writes it down. The reply still arrives on paper, and reading it aloud at breakfast becomes part of the morning.
Yes or no on a busy night
When there is no time for a letter, have your child set out two cups or two paper circles marked yes and no. In the morning the elf is sitting beside one of them. It takes ten seconds and still counts as an answer.
Writing the elf's reply
Change the handwriting
Children recognize a parent's writing sooner than adults expect. Tiny capital letters, a pen color nobody in the house uses, or a note printed in a very small font all work. Whatever you choose, use it every time, including next year.
Three lines is plenty
An elf is small and so is its paper. A greeting, the answer and one detail fit on a slip the size of a gift tag, and a short reply is easier to keep in character than a long one.
Keep a record of what the elf has said
Start a note on your phone with the elf's nickname, age, favorite food, best friend and how it flies home. Add to it each time a reply invents something new. Children remember these facts exactly and will catch a change a year later.
End with a question of the elf's own
Finishing the reply with something for your child to answer, such as which ornament they like best or what they would name a reindeer, keeps the exchange going both ways. It also tells you what to write about tomorrow.
When something goes wrong
No reply was waiting
It happens in most houses sooner or later, usually in the second week. The elf can explain the next morning that the ink froze on the flight or that Santa kept it late, and make up for it with a slightly longer note. Avoid blaming your child's behavior for the missing answer.
Somebody touched the elf
Agree on the remedy before it is needed, and keep it quick and kind: cinnamon sprinkled nearby, a sung carol, a written apology. The point is that the mistake can be mended by bedtime and the elf holds no grudge.
One child knows and one still believes
An older sibling who has worked it out can be let in on the job. Writing a reply or choosing tomorrow's spot gives them a part in it, and it is the best protection against the secret being blurted out at dinner.
The reporting starts to cause worry
If the questions keep circling back to being watched or to the naughty list, let the elf write that it only collects good news from now on. Some families drop the reporting altogether and keep the elf as a visitor who leaves notes, and the tradition works fine that way.
A question asks for a promise
Requests for a certain present, for snow, or for a relative to come home are outside what an elf can deliver. The safe reply is that it will carry the wish to Santa. Then ask your child about it in person, away from the elf.