20 Questions

Questions to Ask Your Pastor About Relationships

Thoughtful questions that help you seek spiritual guidance on relationships, marriage, and love from a pastoral perspective.

1

What does the Bible say about finding the right person to marry?

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Why this works

Helps you understand biblical principles for choosing a life partner and ensures your relationship decisions align with your faith.

2

How can I know if someone is the right person for me to marry?

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Why this works

Provides spiritual guidance on discernment and helps you understand how to make this important decision with God's wisdom.

3

What are the biblical principles for a healthy marriage?

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Why this works

Helps you understand the foundation for a strong marriage and what God expects from both partners in a marital relationship.

4

How can I prepare myself spiritually for marriage?

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Why this works

Provides guidance on spiritual preparation and helps you understand how to grow in your faith before entering marriage.

5

What does the Bible say about dating and courtship?

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Why this works

Helps you understand biblical perspectives on relationships before marriage and how to honor God in your dating life.

6

How can I handle conflicts in my relationship in a godly way?

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Why this works

Provides spiritual guidance on conflict resolution and helps you understand how to handle disagreements in a way that honors God.

7

What does the Bible say about love and how should I love my partner?

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Why this works

Helps you understand the biblical definition of love and how to love your partner in a way that reflects God's love.

8

How can I maintain my relationship with God while in a romantic relationship?

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Why this works

Provides guidance on balancing your spiritual life with your romantic relationship and ensuring God remains your priority.

9

What does the Bible say about physical intimacy before marriage?

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Why this works

Helps you understand biblical teachings on purity and how to honor God in your physical relationship.

10

How can I pray for my relationship and my partner?

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Why this works

Provides guidance on how to incorporate prayer into your relationship and seek God's blessing and guidance.

11

What does the Bible say about forgiveness in relationships?

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Why this works

Helps you understand the importance of forgiveness and how to extend grace to your partner when they hurt you.

12

How can I serve God together with my partner?

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Why this works

Provides guidance on how to grow together in faith and serve God as a couple.

13

What does the Bible say about communication in relationships?

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Why this works

Helps you understand biblical principles for healthy communication and how to speak to your partner in a way that honors God.

14

How can I handle differences in faith or spiritual maturity with my partner?

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Why this works

Provides guidance on navigating spiritual differences and how to grow together in faith.

15

What does the Bible say about commitment and loyalty in relationships?

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Why this works

Helps you understand the importance of commitment and how to remain faithful to your partner.

16

How can I seek God's will for my relationship?

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Why this works

Provides guidance on how to discern God's will and ensure your relationship aligns with His plan for your life.

17

What does the Bible say about respect and honor in relationships?

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Why this works

Helps you understand how to treat your partner with respect and honor, reflecting God's love in your relationship.

18

How can I handle temptation and maintain purity in my relationship?

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Why this works

Provides guidance on how to resist temptation and maintain sexual purity in your relationship.

19

What does the Bible say about trust and honesty in relationships?

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Why this works

Helps you understand the importance of trust and honesty and how to build a relationship based on these values.

20

How can I grow closer to God together with my partner?

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Why this works

Provides guidance on how to grow together in faith and strengthen your relationship with God as a couple.

Seeking Spiritual Guidance on Relationships

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Be Open and Honest

Share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns openly with your pastor. They can provide better guidance when they understand your situation fully.

Seek Biblical Guidance

Ask for specific Bible verses and principles that apply to your situation. This will help you understand God's perspective on your relationship.

Pray Together

Include prayer in your conversations with your pastor. This will help you seek God's guidance together and strengthen your spiritual connection.

Question Sequences

The Foundation Builder

1
What does the Bible say about finding the right person to marry?
2
How can I know if someone is the right person for me?
3
What are the biblical principles for a healthy marriage?
4
How can I prepare myself spiritually for marriage?

The Growth Explorer

1
How can I maintain my relationship with God while in a romantic relationship?
2
How can I serve God together with my partner?
3
How can I grow closer to God together with my partner?
4
How can I seek God's will for my relationship?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Rush the Process

Take time to pray and reflect on the guidance you receive. Don't make hasty decisions about your relationship based on a single conversation.

Avoid Ignoring Red Flags

Don't ignore warning signs in your relationship, even if you receive positive spiritual guidance. Trust your instincts and seek additional counsel if needed.

Don't Use Spiritual Guidance to Avoid Personal Responsibility

Remember that spiritual guidance is meant to help you make wise decisions, not to absolve you of personal responsibility for your relationship choices.

Conversation Templates

The Foundation Seeker

1
Step 1: Start with: "What does the Bible say about finding the right person to marry?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "How can I know if someone is the right person for me?"
3
Step 3: Deepen with: "What are the biblical principles for a healthy marriage?"
4
Step 4: Complete with: "How can I prepare myself spiritually for marriage?"

The Growth Builder

1
Step 1: Begin with: "How can I maintain my relationship with God while in a romantic relationship?"
2
Step 2: Explore with: "How can I serve God together with my partner?"
3
Step 3: Investigate with: "How can I grow closer to God together with my partner?"
4
Step 4: Pray with: "How can I seek God's will for my relationship?"

Further Reading

"The Meaning of Marriage" by Timothy Keller
"Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas
"Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs

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