101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married
Essential questions to help you understand your partner's values, goals, and expectations before making the commitment to marriage.
1What are your core values and how do they align with mine?
Click to see why this works
What are your core values and how do they align with mine?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals fundamental beliefs and helps you understand if your values are compatible and if you can build a life together.
2What are your long-term goals and how do they align with mine?
Click to see why this works
What are your long-term goals and how do they align with mine?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows future direction and helps you understand if your goals are compatible and if you can support each other's dreams.
3What are your expectations for marriage and what does it mean to you?
Click to see why this works
What are your expectations for marriage and what does it mean to you?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals marriage expectations and helps you understand what marriage means to your partner and what they expect from it.
4What are your views on children and family planning?
Click to see why this works
What are your views on children and family planning?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows family goals and helps you understand if you both want children, when, and how many.
5What are your financial goals and how do you handle money?
Click to see why this works
What are your financial goals and how do you handle money?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals financial compatibility and helps you understand if your financial values and habits are compatible.
6What are your career goals and how do they align with family life?
Click to see why this works
What are your career goals and how do they align with family life?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows career priorities and helps you understand how career goals will impact family life and responsibilities.
7What are your views on religion and spirituality?
Click to see why this works
What are your views on religion and spirituality?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals spiritual beliefs and helps you understand if your religious and spiritual views are compatible.
8What are your expectations for household responsibilities and division of labor?
Click to see why this works
What are your expectations for household responsibilities and division of labor?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows domestic expectations and helps you understand how household responsibilities will be divided and managed.
9What are your views on communication and conflict resolution?
Click to see why this works
What are your views on communication and conflict resolution?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals communication style and helps you understand how you'll handle disagreements and resolve conflicts.
10What are your expectations for intimacy and physical affection?
Click to see why this works
What are your expectations for intimacy and physical affection?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows intimacy needs and helps you understand if your physical and emotional intimacy needs are compatible.
11What are your views on social life and friendships?
Click to see why this works
What are your views on social life and friendships?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals social expectations and helps you understand how you'll maintain friendships and social connections.
12What are your expectations for holidays and family traditions?
Click to see why this works
What are your expectations for holidays and family traditions?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows tradition preferences and helps you understand how you'll handle holidays and family traditions.
13What are your views on personal space and independence?
Click to see why this works
What are your views on personal space and independence?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals independence needs and helps you understand how much personal space and independence you both need.
14What are your expectations for decision-making and major life choices?
Click to see why this works
What are your expectations for decision-making and major life choices?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows decision-making style and helps you understand how you'll make major life decisions together.
15What are your views on health and lifestyle choices?
Click to see why this works
What are your views on health and lifestyle choices?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals lifestyle compatibility and helps you understand if your health and lifestyle choices are compatible.
16What are your expectations for support during difficult times?
Click to see why this works
What are your expectations for support during difficult times?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows support needs and helps you understand how you'll support each other during challenges and difficult times.
17What are your views on personal growth and self-improvement?
Click to see why this works
What are your views on personal growth and self-improvement?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals growth mindset and helps you understand if you both value personal growth and self-improvement.
18What are your expectations for boundaries with family and friends?
Click to see why this works
What are your expectations for boundaries with family and friends?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows boundary needs and helps you understand how you'll handle boundaries with family and friends.
19What are your views on technology and social media use?
Click to see why this works
What are your views on technology and social media use?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Reveals technology preferences and helps you understand if your technology and social media habits are compatible.
20What are your expectations for adventure and trying new things?
Click to see why this works
What are your expectations for adventure and trying new things?
Click to see why this works
Why this works
Shows adventure preferences and helps you understand if you both enjoy adventure and trying new experiences together.
Best Practices for Pre-Marriage Conversations
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Best Practices
Focus on Core Values
Ask questions that help you understand your partner's core values, beliefs, and priorities to ensure compatibility.
Discuss Future Goals
Ask about long-term goals, career plans, and life aspirations to ensure you're heading in the same direction.
Address Practical Matters
Ask about financial habits, household responsibilities, and practical matters to ensure you can build a life together.
Question Sequences
The Values Alignment Sequence
The Future Planning Sequence
Common Pitfalls
Don't Avoid Difficult Topics
Address difficult topics like finances, children, and family dynamics. These are crucial for long-term compatibility.
Don't Assume Compatibility
Don't assume you're compatible on important issues. Ask specific questions to understand your partner's views and expectations.
Don't Rush the Process
Take time to have these conversations. Rushing through important topics can lead to misunderstandings and future problems.