Funny Questions to Ask Tarot
Twenty questions for the deck when you are reading for friends after dinner and nobody wants to hear about their career again. Every one of them can be answered with a straight face from any card, which is most of the comedy. If somebody then turns up with a real question, the daily pull prompts on this site are a gentler place to land.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What does my cat know about me that I don't?
Why ask it
Reading for a third party you cannot argue with removes the temptation to reinterpret until you like the answer. Whatever you find yourself defending out loud is the part worth writing down.
Why can I not fold a fitted sheet?
Why ask it
A question this small is a good test of whether you can read a card without inflating it. If your interpretation arrives at childhood, you have overshot, and it is useful to notice how fast that happened.
What is my kitchen trying to tell me?
Why ask it
Naming a specific room keeps the reading concrete, which is the hardest discipline in a joke pull. Vague questions get vague readings, and the kitchen gives you objects to hang the cards on.
What should I do about the drawer I refuse to open?
Why ask it
This looks silly and is not, which is why it belongs in a light set: everyone has one drawer standing in for a decision. If the reading suddenly feels pointed, that is the question you actually came with.
Why do I keep buying the same jumper in three colours?
Why ask it
Shopping habits are safe territory and specific enough to test a reading against. The interesting version of this answer is about wanting to be recognisable, not about money.
What's the spice rack really about?
Why ask it
Organising projects are usually a substitute for a harder task, and the cards tend to make that obvious quickly. Watch for the reading that flatters you: if it says you are simply tidy, pull again another day.
If my houseplants filed a statement, what would it say?
Why ask it
Putting the complaint in someone else's mouth makes an uncomfortable reading easier to sit with. Plants also give you a real measure to check the answer against, which most joke questions do not.
Why do I always pick the slowest queue?
Why ask it
This is the classic bad tarot question because it invites a fortune-telling answer, which is exactly why it is worth practising on. Read it as being about impatience or attention and the pull becomes useful.
What's going on with my parking luck?
Why ask it
Luck questions have no verifiable answer, so the only thing to interpret is your own reaction to the card. Notice whether you reach for a story about deserving good outcomes.
What am I supposed to do with all the tote bags?
Why ask it
A question about accumulation gets you a reading about holding on, and the shift usually happens without you steering it. Keep the answer to one sentence: this is a one-card question, not a spread.
Where do the socks actually go?
Why ask it
There is no possible serious answer, which makes it the best question in the set for practising a reading you cannot cheat. If you get a genuinely funny interpretation out of it, your reading is loosening up.
What is the group chat not telling me?
Why ask it
Best asked with the group chat physically in the room. Any card can be read as an accusation, and the entertainment is watching four people simultaneously decide it is about them.
Why do adverts make me cry?
Why ask it
This is funny on the surface and quietly about how much feeling you are carrying around unspent. If the reading turns tender rather than amusing, take that seriously and stop the session there.
What does my screen time want me to know?
Why ask it
Check the actual number first, then pull. A reading against a real figure keeps you honest in a way that a reading against a vague sense of too much never does.
What advice would my fridge give me?
Why ask it
The fridge has seen everything and says nothing, which makes it a good voice for a blunt reading. Answers tend to be about routine rather than food.
Why do I rehearse arguments in the car?
Why ask it
Almost everyone does this and almost nobody examines it, so the reading has fresh ground to cover. If a specific person appears in your interpretation, that is the point at which it stops being a joke question.
What am I meant to learn from losing my keys every week?
Why ask it
Framing it as a lesson invites a lecture, so watch for a reading that just scolds you. A more useful pull points at what you are doing in the thirty seconds before you put them down.
What's my most flattering delusion?
Why ask it
This is the one question here with teeth, and it belongs late in the set for that reason. If the answer arrives instantly and you laugh, you already knew, which is the whole value of asking.
Which of us would last longest without a phone?
Why ask it
Turn one card each and read them out around the table. It works because everyone present already holds a firm private opinion, and the deck is about to contradict all of them at once.
What's the joke the universe keeps making that I'm not getting?
Why ask it
Broad questions usually make poor pulls, and this one is the exception because you are asking about a repeat rather than a future. Answer it with one card and stop, rather than spreading until it says something.
Reading for the small stuff
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
How to work with light questions
Write the question down before you draw
One line, in the words you actually used. Joke questions drift more than serious ones, and without a written version you will quietly rewrite the question to fit whatever came up.
Keep the spread small
One card for most of these, three at most. A ten-card layout on the subject of tote bags produces a lot of material and no answer, and it teaches you to pad rather than to read.
Say the reading out loud
Silly questions are the best practice for speaking an interpretation in plain language, because there is no pressure to sound wise. If you cannot say it in two sentences, you have not read it yet.
Log them
Note the question, the card, and your one-line reading. Light questions are where you find out what a card tends to mean to you, which is more useful later than any reference table.
Common pitfalls
Smuggling a real worry inside a joke
A question about your spending habits can be a genuine question about money, and the reading will treat it as one. If that happens, stop, put the real question into words, and decide whether you want to ask it today.
Pulling again because you did not like it
Re-asking the same question until a better card appears is a habit that starts with the harmless questions. One pull, one reading, move on to the next question.
Turning it into fortune telling
Questions like whether you will ever stop losing your keys invite a yes or no, which the cards are poorly suited to. Rephrase them as what is going on here, and they become readable.
Using these on someone else without asking
Reading for a friend as a party trick can land badly, because a light question can return something they have not talked about. Ask first, keep it to one card, and let them decide how much of it to discuss.
Turning a bad question into a workable one
- Will I ever stop overspending, into: what am I actually shopping for?
- Why do I always get the slow queue, into: what does waiting do to me?
- Will I ever be tidy, into: what does the mess make easier?
- Why am I like this, into: what has this been protecting?