20 Questions

Questions to Ask a Dad

Meaningful questions to ask your dad or father figures, helping you understand their experiences, wisdom, and build a deeper connection.

1

What was it like when you found out you were going to be a father?

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Why this works

Reveals their emotional experience while providing insight into their transition to fatherhood and initial feelings about becoming a dad.

2

What's the most important lesson you learned from your own father?

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Why this works

Shows their family history while revealing how their own upbringing influenced their approach to fatherhood.

3

What's your proudest moment as a dad?

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Why this works

Reveals their values while providing insight into what they consider their greatest achievement in fatherhood.

4

What's the hardest part of being a father?

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Why this works

Shows their vulnerability while revealing the challenges and struggles they've faced in their role as a dad.

5

What do you wish you had known before becoming a dad?

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Why this works

Reveals their learning while providing insight into what surprised them or caught them off guard about fatherhood.

6

What's your favorite memory of us together?

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Why this works

Shows their sentimental side while revealing the moments they treasure most from your relationship.

7

What do you hope I learn from you?

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Why this works

Reveals their values while providing insight into what they want to pass on to the next generation.

8

What's something you wish you had done differently as a dad?

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Why this works

Shows their self-reflection while revealing their regrets and areas where they wish they could have done better.

9

What was your relationship like with your own father?

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Why this works

Reveals their family history while providing insight into how their own relationship with their dad shaped them.

10

What's the best advice you ever received about being a father?

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Why this works

Shows their wisdom while revealing the guidance that has been most helpful to them in fatherhood.

11

What's the most difficult decision you've had to make as a dad?

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Why this works

Reveals their struggles while providing insight into the tough choices they've had to navigate as a parent.

12

What do you enjoy most about being a father?

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Why this works

Shows what brings them joy while revealing the aspects of fatherhood they find most fulfilling and rewarding.

13

What's something you've learned from being a dad?

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Why this works

Reveals their growth while providing insight into how fatherhood has changed and developed them as a person.

14

What were your dreams and aspirations when you were my age?

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Why this works

Shows their younger self while revealing how their goals and priorities may have evolved over time.

15

What's the most important value you want to pass on to me?

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Why this works

Reveals their priorities while providing insight into what they consider most important for you to carry forward.

16

What do you think about your own aging and mortality?

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Why this works

Shows their perspective on life while revealing their thoughts about growing older and the future.

17

What's your greatest fear as a father?

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Why this works

Reveals their concerns while providing insight into the worries and anxieties they carry about your well-being.

18

What's something you've always wanted to tell me but haven't?

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Why this works

Creates opportunities for deeper connection while revealing thoughts or feelings they may have been holding back.

19

What do you hope for my future?

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Why this works

Shows their aspirations for you while revealing what they envision for your life and happiness.

20

What does being a dad mean to you?

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Why this works

Reveals their philosophy while providing insight into how they define and understand their role as a father.

Best Practices for Father-Child Conversations

Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.

Best Practices

Choose the Right Time and Setting

Find a comfortable, private moment when you can have an uninterrupted conversation without distractions.

Approach with Genuine Curiosity

Ask questions out of a sincere desire to understand and connect rather than to judge or criticize.

Listen with an Open Heart

Give him space to share honestly and be prepared to hear things that might surprise you or differ from your perspective.

Question Sequences

The Fatherhood Experience

1
What was it like when you found out you were going to be a father?
2
What's your proudest moment as a dad?
3
What's the hardest part of being a father?
4
What do you enjoy most about being a father?

The Wisdom Share

1
What's the most important lesson you learned from your own father?
2
What do you hope I learn from you?
3
What's the most important value you want to pass on to me?
4
What does being a dad mean to you?

Common Pitfalls

Don't Rush the Conversation

Give your dad time to process and respond to questions that may bring up deep emotions or memories.

Avoid Being Judgmental

Listen to his answers with empathy and understanding rather than criticizing his choices or experiences.

Don't Skip the Emotional Questions

Ask about his feelings, fears, and vulnerabilities to create deeper emotional connection.

Conversation Templates

The Experience Explorer

1
Step 1: Start with: "What was it like when you found out you were going to be a father?"
2
Step 2: Follow with: "What's your proudest moment as a dad?"
3
Step 3: Explore with: "What's the hardest part of being a father?"

The Wisdom Seeker

1
Step 1: Begin with: "What's the most important lesson you learned from your own father?"
2
Step 2: Probe with: "What do you hope I learn from you?"
3
Step 3: Clarify with: "What's the most important value you want to pass on to me?"

Further Reading

"The Road to Character" by David Brooks
"Between Father and Child" by Haim Ginott
"The Wonder of Boys" by Michael Gurian

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