Questions to Ask a Mason
Questions to ask a Freemason, for people thinking about joining, people married to a member, and people who just have a friend who disappears on the third Tuesday of the month. They start with his own story, then go through lodge nights, the wider Craft and its Grand Lodges, faith and secrecy, and what it costs against what it gives back, and finish with what to ask a Mason before you hand in a petition.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Start here
How did you end up joining? Did someone ask you, or did you ask them?
Why ask it
Many jurisdictions expect the candidate to ask first rather than be recruited, so this is usually a story about who he already knew. It also tells you whether he came in through family, work, or curiosity, and those three produce different members.
What did your family say when you joined?
Why ask it
Households react anywhere from indifference to real suspicion, and the evenings out are the practical issue rather than the ritual. What the first year cost the people at home is the part most members skip, so ask for it by name.
What actually happens at a lodge meeting?
Why ask it
The honest answer usually involves minutes, correspondence, finances and a supper, which surprises people expecting something stranger. Ask how much of an evening is ceremony and how much is committee business.
What can you tell me, and where exactly is the line?
Why ask it
Members generally distinguish between what is secret and what is merely private, and most will tell you the shape of things while withholding specific modes of recognition. Asking where the line sits is more productive than pushing at it.
What surprised you most in your first year?
Why ask it
It gets past the recruitment answer. Members often mention how much there is to memorise, how old the membership is, and how much of the work is charity administration and not ceremony.
Do you say Mason or Freemason, and is there any difference?
Why ask it
None in meaning: Mason is the everyday short form, and Freemason is the fuller word that stops anyone picturing the tradesman who repoints chimneys. What changes from country to country is the name for the whole thing, so listen for whether he says the Craft, the lodge or the fraternity.
What is the first thing people say when they find out you are a Freemason?
Why ask it
Nearly always the handshake, a film, or a grandfather who was one. He has a practised reply to all three, so follow up with what he wishes people asked instead, and then ask him that.
Lodge nights
Who runs the lodge, and how does someone get to be Master?
Why ask it
Officers are elected or appointed each year, and in many lodges a member moves up through a line of chairs for several years before his turn as Master. He is then addressed as Worshipful Master, an old use of the word that means respected and has nothing to do with worship. Find out which chair he sits in now, because that decides how much homework he has.
Is there really a man with a sword outside the door?
Why ask it
There is: he is the Tyler, an officer who sits outside the lodge room while it is in session, and the sword is traditional. The post is mostly ceremonial now and often goes to a long-serving member. It is a light question that gets him explaining the other officers one by one.
What do the square and compasses mean to you?
Why ask it
They are stonemason's tools turned into reminders about conduct, and members are expected to work out part of the meaning for themselves. Putting "to you" on the end avoids the leaflet answer. In some countries, the United States among them, a letter G sits in the middle, and what he was told it stands for makes a good second question.
How much do you have to learn by heart?
Why ask it
Ritual is delivered from memory in many lodges, and the sheer amount of it puts busy people off more than anything in the ceremonies does. Who coaches him and how long a piece takes to learn are the practical answers. The reassuring one is what happens when someone dries up in the middle.
What do you wear to lodge?
Why ask it
Dress runs from black tie or a dark suit to an open collar, depending on the lodge and the country, with an apron over the top and a collar for officers. You learn how formal his lodge is faster this way than from any description of the ceremony.
What is the apron for, and do you still have your first one?
Why ask it
A new member is given a plain white apron at his first degree, a nod to the working dress of the stonemasons the symbolism is borrowed from. Later aprons carry trim that shows rank or office. Many members can tell you exactly which drawer the first one is in.
What happens at the meal afterwards?
Why ask it
Plenty of lodges sit down together once the meeting closes, with anything from a formal dinner and a fixed order of toasts to pizza in the hall. Members often say this is where the friendships are made. Check whether guests ever come to it, since a dinner is the easiest way for an outsider to see a lodge.
Is it true you cannot talk about religion or politics in lodge?
Why ask it
Mainstream lodges bar both subjects from their meetings, a rule meant to keep men who disagree in the same room. How well it holds at the dinner table in an election year is the interesting part, and he will probably laugh before he answers.
Do you visit other lodges, and which visit do you remember best?
Why ask it
Visiting is half the hobby for some members, and a Mason travelling abroad can often sit in a lodge where he knows nobody. How a stranger proves he is a member is one of the things he will keep to himself. The story of the evening is not.
What is the oldest thing in your lodge room, and what is the story attached?
Why ask it
History is the safest ground there is, because none of it is restricted. Warrants, furniture, honour boards and photographs all come with anecdotes he is allowed to share, and a lodge with a century of minute books usually has one member who has read them.
The wider Craft
What is a degree, and how long do you wait between them?
Why ask it
A Craft lodge, called a Blue Lodge in the United States, works three degrees: Entered Apprentice, Fellow Craft and Master Mason. The gap between them runs from weeks to many months, depending on the Grand Lodge and on how quickly a candidate learns what he is given. How long his own took, and whether anyone stops partway, tells you the pace where he lives.
What is a Grand Lodge, and which one is yours under?
Why ask it
There is no world headquarters. Each country, and in the United States, Canada and Australia each state or province, has its own Grand Lodge that charters local lodges and writes their rules. Knowing which one he answers to explains why two Masons can give you different answers to the same question.
What is Prince Hall Freemasonry, and how do the lodges here relate to it?
Why ask it
Prince Hall Grand Lodges trace back to a lodge of Black Masons formed in Boston in the late 1700s, and they remain a large, historically Black branch of American Freemasonry. Whether Prince Hall and other Grand Lodges formally recognise each other has been settled one state at a time. A member will know how it stands where he lives and whether the lodges visit.
What are the Scottish Rite, the York Rite and the Shriners, and are you in any of them?
Why ask it
These are further bodies a Master Mason may join if he wants more ceremony, more study or more fundraising, and which of them exist depends on the country. The Shriners are the ones in the red fezzes, known in North America for their children's hospitals. His reasons for joining one, or for stopping at the lodge, say a lot about what he wants from it.
What is a 33rd degree Mason, and does he outrank you?
Why ask it
The Scottish Rite numbers its degrees up to the 32nd and awards the 33rd as an honour, which is where the phrase comes from. Masons will generally tell you that nothing ranks above the third degree of Master Mason, and that the higher numbers are further lessons and not promotions. Outsiders get this wrong more than anything else, so let him untangle it.
Can women join, or is there something separate for them?
Why ask it
Mainstream lodges admit men only. There are separate women's and mixed Grand Lodges, and related orders that take members' relatives, such as the Order of the Eastern Star in the United States, though which of them his own Grand Lodge recognises varies. What exists near him, and what the couples in his lodge actually do, is the local answer.
Where did Freemasonry come from, as you were taught it?
Why ask it
The usual account runs from the lodges of working stonemasons to the gentlemen who joined them, with the first Grand Lodge formed in London in the early 1700s. Historians argue about nearly every step before that. Adding "as you were taught it" lets him give the lodge's version and his own doubts about it.
Are there youth groups or family events attached to your lodge?
Why ask it
In North America, DeMolay, Job's Daughters and the Rainbow Girls are youth orders sponsored by Masons, and lodges elsewhere often hold family days or ladies' nights. This is how a partner or a teenager gets to see inside the building, which matters to a household weighing the whole thing up.
What would get a member thrown out?
Why ask it
The dull answer is unpaid dues, which is how a good many memberships end. Suspension or expulsion for conduct, a serious criminal conviction for instance, runs under each Grand Lodge's own rules, so the process differs from place to place. Whether he has seen it used, and what for, shows what the organisation enforces as opposed to what it says.
Faith and secrecy
Do you have to believe in God, and what counts?
Why ask it
Mainstream Freemasonry asks for belief in a supreme being and leaves the rest to the man, so no particular religion is required and an atheist is generally not eligible. Some bodies in Continental Europe dropped the requirement long ago, which is one reason Grand Lodges do not all recognise each other. How the question was put to him, and by whom, is the follow-up.
What happens when men of different religions sit in the same lodge?
Why ask it
An open book of scripture sits in the lodge room, and in many jurisdictions a candidate takes his obligation on the one his own faith holds sacred. A lodge with members of several religions may keep more than one to hand. Which books his lodge owns is a concrete way into a subject that otherwise stays abstract.
Is Freemasonry a religion?
Why ask it
Members will tell you no: it offers no path to salvation, has no clergy and no sacraments, and expects a man to bring his own faith with him. The prayers, the altar and the open book of scripture are why outsiders keep asking. How he explains the difference in his own words is more telling than the official line.
Has your church, or anyone in it, ever objected?
Why ask it
Some churches tell their members not to join, the Catholic Church among them, while most lodges do not turn a man away for his denomination. A member who is also a churchgoer has usually had to think this through. Tread gently, because for some of them it came at a real cost.
What is a Masonic funeral, and have you taken part in one?
Why ask it
Many lodges will hold a short service for a member who has died if the family asks for it, with the brethren in their aprons. It sits beside whatever religious funeral the family holds and does not replace it. Keep this for a quiet moment, since he may be thinking of a particular friend.
Did you really swear an oath, and what was it about?
Why ask it
A candidate takes an obligation at each degree, and its core is not to reveal the signs, words and grips by which members recognise one another. He can tell you that much. The old wording includes dramatic penalties that members describe as symbolic, and he may or may not want to go into them.
If there is nothing to hide, why keep anything secret at all?
Why ask it
The fair version of the sceptic's question, and most members have turned it over themselves. Common answers are that a ceremony works better on a candidate who has not read it, and that keeping a small promise is practice for keeping larger ones. Judge the reply by whether it would satisfy him if he were the one standing outside.
What do you make of the conspiracy theories?
Why ask it
Every member has heard them and most have a well-worn answer, so push past the joke. Sorting them into the ones that annoy him, the ones he finds funny and the ones that started from something real gets you more than a blanket denial.
Has it ever helped you in business, and is that allowed?
Why ask it
Masonic rules generally forbid using membership for personal gain, and the accusation persists anyway because friendship and work overlap in any club. The gap between what the rule says and what he has watched happen is the answer you are after.
Would you be expected to favour another Mason over a stranger, say at work or in a dispute?
Why ask it
This is the worry behind most suspicion of the Craft, particularly where police, judges and councils are concerned. Masonic rules put a member's duty to the law ahead of his duty to the lodge, and some public employers have asked staff to declare membership, so find out how it works where he lives. A straight question gets a straighter answer than a hint does.
Do you tell people you are a Mason, or keep it quiet?
Why ask it
Some wear the ring and put the emblem on the car, and others never mention it at work. Which he does, and why, shows how the Craft is seen in his town and his trade. Whether another man is a member is not his to disclose, so keep this one about him.
Is there anything about it you are not allowed to tell your own partner?
Why ask it
As members describe it, only what he cannot tell anyone: the means of recognition and the detail of the ceremonies. Where he goes, how often, what it costs and where the charity money ends up are covered by no promise at all. A partner who is told less than that is hearing his choice, not a rule of the lodge.
Cost and reward
What does it cost in a year, and what does the money go to?
Why ask it
The total is a joining fee, annual dues, meals and charitable giving, and it runs from modest to substantial depending on the lodge and the country. Get it as one figure for a year. A second question about what a member on a tight budget does is worth it, because lodges tend to have a quiet answer.
How many evenings a month does this really take?
Why ask it
Meetings are only part of it, once rehearsals, visits to other lodges and committee work are counted. His busiest month of last year is a more honest measure than the average.
What does your lodge actually do in this town?
Why ask it
Some lodges are mostly social and others give visibly to local causes. What they funded last year, and who decided, moves the conversation from symbols to something you could go and look at.
Does the lodge look after its own members and their families when things go wrong?
Why ask it
Relief of members in distress, and of their widows and children, is one of the oldest purposes of a lodge, and many Grand Lodges still run benevolent funds or care homes. What exists depends on the country. One case he has seen at first hand, with the names left out, is worth more than the principle.
What do you get from it that a sports club or a church group would not give you?
Why ask it
The comparison forces a specific answer. Members tend to name the ceremony, the mix of ages, or being handed a responsibility they would not be given elsewhere. If he cannot name anything, that is worth knowing before you spend a year finding out for yourself.
Who was the member who made you want to stay?
Why ask it
Curiosity gets a man through the door and a person usually keeps him there. The answer tends to be an older member who took the trouble, which tells you what the organisation is actually offering.
Have you ever thought about leaving, or taken a few years off?
Why ask it
Plenty of members drift away when children or work take over and come back later, and lodges generally let a man resign in good standing and rejoin. Someone who has been tempted to go knows the weak points better than someone who never questioned it.
Is membership shrinking, and what is the lodge doing about it?
Why ask it
Many lodges have an ageing membership and talk about it constantly among themselves. What they have changed in response, earlier meeting times or plainer dinners for instance, shows whether a newcomer half the average age would have company.
Joining
Who can join, and what would rule someone out?
Why ask it
The usual requirements are to be an adult man, to believe in a supreme being and to come recommended as of good character, with the minimum age set by each Grand Lodge. What "good character" means in practice, a criminal record for instance, is the part worth pinning down. His Grand Lodge's rules are the ones that apply, not what you read about another country.
What did you have to do to apply?
Why ask it
In most places it is a written petition signed by members who vouch for you, a visit from a few of the lodge, and then a vote. The names of the steps change from one Grand Lodge to the next. Get the time from his first conversation to his first ceremony, which is often longer than people expect.
What did the members who came to meet you want to know?
Why ask it
Many lodges send two or three members to talk to a candidate, often at home and with his partner in the room. They are mostly checking why he wants to join and whether the household is behind it. If you are preparing for that visit yourself, this is the most useful question on the page.
How does the lodge vote on a candidate?
Why ask it
Traditionally by secret ballot, in many lodges with white and black balls dropped in a box, which is where the word blackballed comes from. How many votes against will stop a petition differs between Grand Lodges. He may have seen a ballot go wrong, and he will not tell you who cast it.
What was the night of your initiation like, as far as you can say?
Why ask it
He will not walk you through the ceremony, but the nerves beforehand, who was in the room and the dinner afterwards are all his to describe. Most members remember it in detail decades later. The advice he would give a candidate the day before is the part to write down.
What if someone wants to join but does not know a single Mason?
Why ask it
Many Grand Lodges take enquiries through their websites and pass them to a lodge near the enquirer. After that, expect to be met socially a few times before anyone produces a form. His account of how his own lodge treats a cold enquiry tells you how welcome a stranger really is.
How would I tell whether a particular lodge is right for me?
Why ask it
Lodges differ in age, formality, cost and how seriously they take the ritual, even within one town. He will know which one nearby is the young lodge, the dining lodge or the scholarly one. A member who points you to a lodge other than his own is giving you honest advice.
Should I read about the ceremonies before I go through them?
Why ask it
The ritual has been in print and online for a long time, so the question is whether to look, not whether you can. Nearly every member will say to wait, because a degree is written to be gone through without knowing what comes next. Find out what he would have you read in the meantime.
If I were thinking about joining, what would you tell me to think about first?
Why ask it
A good answer covers the time, the cost, the memorising and the people, and it usually comes with advice to meet the lodge socially before anything is signed. A member who only sells the idea is not giving you the useful version.
Talking to a Freemason
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Secrecy, privacy and where the line falls
Most of it is not secret at all
Constitutions, lodge addresses, charitable accounts and a great deal of ritual history are public. What members generally will not share are the specific modes of recognition and parts of ceremony, so aim your questions at everything else.
Ask about experience, not text
What was it like, what did you feel, what did you not expect are all answerable. Requests to recite something or describe the ceremony step by step will get a polite refusal and stall the conversation.
Expect jurisdiction to matter
Rules on membership, religion, women, alcohol and recognition vary between constitutions and countries. Whatever he tells you is true of his lodge, not necessarily of Freemasonry everywhere.
Which group for which conversation
A relative or friend you are simply curious about
Stay in Start here and Lodge nights. How he joined, the oldest thing in the lodge room and what happens at dinner are easy to answer, and they earn you the standing to ask about secrecy later.
A partner whose other half has just joined
Cost and reward is your group. Get the number of evenings and the yearly cost said out loud, then go to the end of Faith and secrecy for the question about what he is and is not allowed to tell you, which has a shorter answer than most partners expect. The one on youth groups and family events in The wider Craft covers the part of a lodge a household gets to see.
A sceptic
Faith and secrecy holds the hard questions, worded so that a member is able to answer them. Pick two or three, ask them plainly and let him finish. A Freemason who has been heard out on the conspiracy theories will often tell you what he finds awkward about the Craft himself.
Someone seriously thinking of joining
Begin with the last group, Joining, and then read Cost and reward. Put the same questions to members of two different lodges if you can, because the answers on cost, dress and pace will not match.
If you are actually considering it
- 1Ask to visit a social event first, since many lodges hold open evenings or dinners for guests.
- 2Ask for the full first-year cost in one number: joining fee, dues, dining, regalia and giving.
- 3Ask how many evenings a month, including rehearsals, and check it against the people you live with.
- 4Ask what memorisation is expected before each stage and who will help you with it.
- 5Meet more than one member, because lodges differ from each other far more than outsiders assume.
- 6Ask what happens if you join and then find it is not for you.
What shuts the conversation down
- Opening with a conspiracy theory as though it is a joke you both share
- Pressing for handshakes, passwords or the exact words of a ceremony
- Treating him as a spokesman for every lodge in every country
- Assuming the organisation is a religion, or that it competes with his
- Asking who else in town is a member, which he generally cannot answer for other people
- Framing every question as an accusation and then wondering why the answers get short