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04 · Practical & Life Logistics

Questions to Ask a Potential Caregiver Before Hiring

A working interview script for families hiring an in-home caregiver for an aging parent or a disabled relative. Use it to test real hands-on skill, settle pay and backup coverage, and catch problems before day one.

20 questions · each with a note on why · conversation guide

The questions

Open any question for the note

  1. Tell me about the person you care for now or cared for most recently, and what a typical shift looked like.

    Why ask it

    A concrete hour-by-hour account is much harder to fake than a list of skills, and it shows you the pace and type of work they are actually used to.

  2. How many years have you been paid to do this, and in what settings: private homes, assisted living, hospital, hospice?

    Why ask it

    Facility experience means teamwork and call bells, while home experience means working alone and improvising. You want to know which muscle they have built.

  3. Have you cared for someone with the same condition my mother has, and what did that look like day to day?

    Why ask it

    Dementia, Parkinson's, stroke recovery, and dialysis each demand different routines and instincts. Generic caregiving experience does not automatically transfer.

  4. What training and certifications do you hold, and when did you last renew CPR and first aid?

    Why ask it

    Expired cards are common and easy to verify, and the answer tells you whether they treat credentials as a live responsibility or a one-time hurdle.

  5. Which parts of caregiving do you genuinely enjoy, and which parts would you rather not do?

    Why ask it

    Everyone has a least favorite task. A caregiver who names theirs honestly is far safer than one who claims to love everything and then quietly skips things.

  6. How comfortable are you with hands-on personal care: bathing, toileting, and incontinence cleanup?

    Why ask it

    This is where most placements fail. Asking plainly in the interview prevents discovering in week two that they expected family to handle the bathroom.

  7. What are your limits on lifting and transferring, and what equipment do you need to do it safely?

    Why ask it

    You learn whether they can manage your parent's actual weight and mobility level, and whether you need to buy a gait belt, transfer board, or mechanical lift.

  8. What is your role with medication: reminding, setting up the pill organizer, or actually administering doses?

    Why ask it

    Scope of practice varies by state and by certification, so this clarifies what they are legally allowed to do and what a family member or nurse must still cover.

  9. Which household tasks do you consider part of the job: cooking, laundry, light cleaning, groceries, pet care?

    Why ask it

    Housekeeping expectations cause more resentment than almost anything else. Getting a specific list now becomes the basis of the written job description.

  10. Will you be driving her anywhere, and may I see your license, driving record, and auto insurance?

    Why ask it

    If appointments and errands are part of the role, an unverified driver is a real liability. Watch whether they offer the documents readily or hesitate.

  11. Walk me through exactly what you would do if you arrived and found her on the floor.

    Why ask it

    The right answer starts with assessing before moving her and ends with calling for help and notifying you. Vague or overconfident answers are a warning sign.

  12. How do you respond when someone refuses a shower, a meal, or their medication?

    Why ask it

    Refusals happen weekly. You are listening for patience and creative workarounds rather than arguing, bargaining with threats, or simply giving up and saying nothing.

  13. What would you do if she became angry, accused you of stealing, or did not recognize you?

    Why ask it

    Paranoia and agitation come with cognitive decline. A caregiver who takes accusations personally will not last, while one who redirects calmly is worth keeping.

  14. How do you handle it when two family members give you conflicting instructions?

    Why ask it

    Reveals whether they will quietly pick a side or bring the conflict back to a single decision maker, which is the only workable answer in a divided family.

  15. What hours can you actually commit to, and how much notice do you need for a schedule change?

    Why ask it

    Turns a vague sense of availability into a real calendar, and exposes second jobs, school schedules, or childcare limits that will collide with your coverage.

  16. What happens when you are sick, have a family emergency, or take vacation? Who covers the shift?

    Why ask it

    Private caregivers often have no backup at all, so the answer tells you whether you need a second caregiver on standby or an agency for fill-in days.

  17. What rate do you expect, and how do you want overtime, holidays, mileage, and overnight hours handled?

    Why ask it

    Pricing every scenario now prevents the awkward mid-month conversation, and it shows whether they have thought about the job as a real employment arrangement.

  18. Would you be working as our employee or as an independent contractor, and do you carry liability insurance?

    Why ask it

    This drives payroll taxes, workers' compensation, and who pays if they get hurt in your home. Many families discover their obligations only after an injury.

  19. Will you agree to a background check and let me call your two most recent families, including your current one?

    Why ask it

    Willingness matters as much as the results. References who only include relatives or clients from years ago usually mean a recent placement went badly.

  20. Why did your last caregiving job end, and what would make you leave this one?

    Why ask it

    Turnover is the biggest threat to continuity of care, and their honest answer names the conditions you would need to meet to keep them for more than a few months.

How to Run the Interview

Practical guidance for the conversation itself

Interview in the Home, Not on the Phone

Meet where the work happens

Do the second interview in the house so you can watch them walk the stairs, see the bathroom setup, and notice whether they speak to your parent or only to you.

Include the person receiving care

Give your parent part of the conversation alone if they are able. Chemistry between the two of them predicts success better than any credential on the resume.

Pay for a trial shift

Book one four-hour paid shift with a family member nearby before committing. You will learn more from watching one transfer or one meal than from an hour of questions.

Write the job down

Turn their answers on tasks, hours, and pay into a one-page agreement both of you sign. It ends most future disputes before they start.

Red Flags Worth Walking Away From

  • Reluctance to provide a background check, license, or the contact for their current family
  • References that are all relatives, friends, or clients from more than three years ago
  • Pushing for cash only payment with no records or written agreement
  • Asking about money, wills, property, or the bank account in an early conversation
  • Vague or shifting dates in their work history when you ask twice
  • Talking about a previous client with contempt or sharing their private medical details
  • Promising unlimited availability, no sick days, and no need for breaks
  • Discouraging you from installing a camera in shared living areas or from visiting unannounced

If You Are Hiring Through an Agency

Ask to interview the actual person

Agencies often sell you the company rather than the caregiver. Insist on meeting the specific aide assigned to your case and ask these same twenty questions.

Pin down the substitute policy

Find out how often shifts get filled by someone new, whether you can decline a substitute, and how the replacement learns your parent's routine.

Clarify supervision and escalation

Ask who the caregiver reports to, how often a nurse or supervisor visits the home, and what number you call at 2am when something goes wrong.

Read the minimums and exit terms

Check minimum hours per visit, cancellation windows, holiday rates, and how much notice you must give to end service or swap caregivers.

Settle These Before the First Shift

  • A written task list by time of day, including what is not their job
  • Medication list, allergies, diagnoses, and the pharmacy phone number in one place
  • Emergency contacts in priority order, plus the advance directive or POLST location
  • How you want daily updates: a shared notebook on the counter, a text at shift end, or a care app
  • House logistics: keys or lockbox code, alarm code, wifi, parking, thermostat, and which food is theirs to eat
  • Pay mechanics: rate, pay day, method, timesheet format, and who handles taxes
  • Rules on visitors, phone use, and taking your parent out of the house without checking in