Questions to Ask Before Joining a Church
Questions to ask before joining a church, for a visitor who is weighing church membership. Most are questions to ask a pastor or elder about becoming a member of a church: what it believes and where that is written down, who holds authority, how money and children's safety are handled, what joining commits you to, and how the membership class and interview work. The ones about church life are worth putting to ordinary members as well, and the last nine are for you to answer alone.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Beliefs
What does this church believe, and is there a written statement of faith I can read?
Why ask it
Something in writing lets you compare the church with what you already hold, and with what you hear later, instead of going on impressions from a few sermons. If nothing is written down, that proves nothing by itself, but ask which historic creed or confession the leaders would point you to.
Which denomination or network are you part of, and what does that involve?
Why ask it
The label matters less than what comes with it: who appoints the leaders, who owns the building, and whether anyone above the local church can hear a complaint. If the church is independent, put those same three points to it directly.
What does this church teach about the Bible, and how does that shape the preaching?
Why ask it
Nearly every church says it follows the Bible, so the second half is the part to listen to. Find out whether sermons usually work through a book passage by passage or start from a topic, and which translation is read aloud, because that is what you will hear week after week.
How would you explain what it means to become a Christian?
Why ask it
This is the centre the rest of a church's teaching hangs on, and you want to hear it in ordinary words, not in phrases you would have to look up. If two leaders give you noticeably different answers, ask which one the church officially holds.
What do you teach about baptism and communion, and who may take part?
Why ask it
Churches differ on baptising infants, on how often communion is served, and on whether visitors, children or members of other churches may receive it. You will meet these differences within your first month, so hear them explained now and not in the pew on the Sunday they come up.
Which beliefs must every member hold, and where is there room to differ?
Why ask it
Some churches keep a short list that every member affirms and a longer one that only leaders must hold. Work out which list your own doubts or differences fall on before you sign anything.
Where does this church differ from the other churches in town?
Why ask it
The shared basics sound alike everywhere. This asks for the points a leader would actually argue about, such as baptism, how the church is governed or the end times. Notice the tone as well as the content, because the way a church talks about its neighbours is part of what you would be joining.
What do you teach about the Holy Spirit and spiritual gifts?
Why ask it
Whether speaking in tongues, prophecy and prayer for healing are part of a service is something you feel on a Sunday more than you read in a statement. Have a normal month described to you, since the written position and the practice in the room do not always match.
Can women preach, serve as elders or be ordained here?
Why ask it
Churches that agree on almost everything else divide on this, and they draw the line in different places: preaching, eldership, ordination, leading a mixed group. Find out who holds each role today, since a policy that allows something and a church that does it are not the same.
What do you teach about marriage, divorce and same-sex relationships, and how does that affect who can join or serve?
Why ask it
A general word of welcome can cover very different practices, so the second half of the question is the one that counts. Asking plainly about membership, communion, serving and weddings is fairer to you and to the church than finding out a year in.
How are politics and current events handled from the pulpit?
Why ask it
You will find churches that name candidates and causes, churches that stay off the subject altogether, and most somewhere between. If sermons are recorded, listen to one from the weeks around an election: it shows the practice better than any summary you are given.
Leadership
Who makes decisions here, and who can overrule the senior pastor?
Why ask it
You are listening for a named body with real authority: elders, a board, a congregational meeting or a bishop. If nobody can be named, the church's direction rests on one person's judgement, and you should know that going in.
How are pastors and elders chosen, and how could one be removed?
Why ask it
Appointment by the congregation, by the existing elders, or by a bishop or denomination makes for very different churches. Removal is the half people forget to raise, so find out whether a written process exists and whether it has ever been used.
What do members get to vote on, if anything?
Why ask it
Where members vote, it is commonly on the budget, calling a pastor, electing leaders and buying or selling property. Having no vote is normal in some traditions, but it means your say is limited to conversation and, in the end, to leaving.
If I had a serious concern about a leader, who outside that leader's circle would hear it?
Why ask it
The answer you are hoping for is a named person or body who is not a relative, employee or close friend of the leader concerned. In an independent church, go one step further and find out whether anyone beyond the congregation could be brought in at all.
Are any of the paid staff or board members related to one another?
Why ask it
Family on staff is common in small churches and often harmless. The trouble starts when the people who approve the budget, set the salaries and hear complaints all sit at the same dinner table.
How long has the pastor been here, and how did the previous one leave?
Why ask it
A long pastorate, a string of short ones and a predecessor nobody wants to discuss each tell a different story. If the answer is brief or awkward, take the same question quietly to a member who was there at the time.
What has changed here in the past five years, and what caused it?
Why ask it
A split, a building project or a change of pastor leaves a mark on a congregation for years afterwards. It is better heard from a leader now than pieced together later from remarks over coffee.
Where do the leaders hope to take this church over the next few years, and what would that ask of members?
Why ask it
A plan to plant a church, add a service, move building or hire staff will shape your Sundays and your giving more than the mission statement on the wall. If there is no plan beyond carrying on faithfully, that is an answer too, and for some people the right one.
Money and safety
How are your finances reported, and can members see the accounts?
Why ask it
Common arrangements are a budget and year-end figures shown to members, plus some kind of outside review. What the law requires differs by country and by the church's legal form, so ask what applies here and whether you could see last year's report.
How is the pastor's salary set, and by whom?
Why ask it
The point is whether someone independent of the pastor decides the pay: a committee, a board with no staff on it, or a denominational scale. Be more cautious if the answer is the pastor, or a member of the pastor's family.
Does the church carry debt, and is a building project or major appeal planned?
Why ask it
A mortgage or a fundraising campaign shapes what members are asked for over the next few years. Neither is a bad sign in itself. Learning about a large appeal a month after you join is.
What is expected of me financially, and is it a percentage?
Why ask it
Practice runs from no stated expectation to a tithe that leaders check against giving records. Find out whether anyone looks at what individuals give, and who, because that is easier to hear before you join than after.
How do you keep children and vulnerable adults safe, and is the policy written down?
Why ask it
Specifics to listen for: background checks on everyone who works with children, a rule that no adult is alone with a child, a named person in charge, and training with a date on it. A leader who knows the policy can answer without going to look for it, and will not mind being asked.
If someone raised a concern about a child's safety, what would happen next?
Why ask it
The policy on paper is one thing and the first phone call is another. Listen for whether the concern goes to someone outside the leadership, and whether the person concerned steps back from their role while it is looked at. Duties to report to the authorities differ by country and state, so ask what the rule is where this church is.
Membership
What would membership actually commit me to?
Why ask it
The usual headings are giving, attendance, serving, agreement with the church's teaching and any covenant you would sign. Some churches expect very little and some a great deal, and either is easier to live with when it is stated up front.
What is the process for becoming a member, and how long does it take?
Why ask it
Expect some mix of a class, a conversation with a leader, an account of your own faith and perhaps a vote or a public welcome. If you already belong to another church, check whether this one wants a letter of transfer from it or simply takes your word.
What does the membership class cover, and who teaches it?
Why ask it
A class taught by the pastor lets you hear the church's history and beliefs from the person who preaches them, and see how questions from the room are received. Get the number of sessions, and check whether attending obliges you to join at the end.
What will I be asked in the membership interview?
Why ask it
Commonly the leaders want to hear how you came to faith, whether you have been baptised and why you left your last church. Check whether any of it is passed on to the congregation, and whether you would be expected to speak at the front on the day you are welcomed.
Do I need to be baptised, or baptised again, to join?
Why ask it
Churches that baptise only professing believers sometimes ask people baptised as infants to be baptised again, while others accept any Christian baptism. If this touches your own history, raise it at the start, because it can hold up an application that is otherwise settled.
Can my children become members, and from what age?
Why ask it
Some traditions count baptised children as members from the start, and others wait until a child can speak for themselves, often after a confirmation or baptism class in the teenage years. Find out how your family would be recorded in the meantime, since that can decide who may take communion.
Could I join if my husband or wife does not, or belongs to another church?
Why ask it
Plenty of churches take one spouse as a member without the other, while some prefer a household to join together or want to meet you both first. Say how things stand at home at the outset, so nobody is surprised when only one name is on the form.
What can a member do here that a regular attender cannot?
Why ask it
In some churches only members vote, lead a group, serve with children or take communion. In others the difference is hard to find, and then it is fair to ask what joining adds.
Is there a membership covenant, and may I take it home before I sign?
Why ask it
Read it slowly for what it says about submitting to leaders, about discipline, and about resigning. A few covenants do not let a member resign while a discipline process is open, and that is a clause to meet at your kitchen table, not afterwards.
Does this church practise church discipline, and what does it look like?
Why ask it
A formal process exists in some churches and none at all in others. Whichever it is, you should come away knowing what conduct could lead to it, who decides, and whether anything is announced to the congregation.
What happens when a member openly disagrees with the leadership?
Why ask it
A recent example is worth more than a statement of principle here. Pay attention to how the story ends: with the member still in the church, or with a sentence about them moving on.
How do people leave here, and how are they spoken about afterwards?
Why ask it
People move away, change churches and fall out with leaders in every congregation, so there will be an answer. Warmth towards those who have gone is encouraging, and you can test it by asking whether former members still come back for weddings and funerals.
If I moved away or chose another church, how would my membership end or transfer?
Why ask it
Some traditions send a letter to the next church, some simply remove your name, and a few expect a conversation with a leader first. The mechanics are dull until you need them, and they vary too much to assume.
What happens to members who stop coming?
Why ask it
A roll that is never tidied carries the names of people who drifted off years ago, which makes any membership figure you are given hard to read. Other churches write, visit and eventually remove a name, so learn which kind this is and how long an absence has to be before anyone gets in touch.
How soon would I be expected to serve, and where is help most needed?
Why ask it
Settling in for a few months is the custom in some churches, and in others your name is on the serving schedule by the second week. Say plainly what you can offer and what you cannot, and watch whether that is taken at face value.
What would you hope a new member had done by the end of their first year?
Why ask it
This turns a list of expectations into a picture: in a group, serving somewhere, known by name to a handful of people. Put it to the pastor in person, because the reply shows what the one leading the church counts as belonging.
May I keep attending for a while before deciding, and is there a deadline?
Why ask it
Often the only date involved is when the next membership class starts. If the deadline is anything more pressing than that, ask where the hurry comes from before you agree to it.
Church life
What does a normal Sunday service look like from beginning to end?
Why ask it
Length, style of music, how often communion is served and whether children stay in all vary widely, even inside one denomination. A description of an ordinary week also tells you whether the Sunday you visited was typical or a special occasion.
Are there small groups, and how would I find one with room for me?
Why ask it
The number to get is how many groups are open to newcomers right now, not how many exist. A church full of long-established groups can be harder to get into than one with only two or three.
Where would my children be during the service, and what is there for teenagers?
Why ask it
See the rooms, meet whoever leads each age group, and find out whether children stay in for part of the service. For teenagers, check how many actually come: a youth group of three and one of thirty are different things, and your teenager will care which.
What is there for people at my stage of life?
Why ask it
Name the stage when you ask, whether that is student, single, new parent or retired, and get the day the group meets and roughly how many come. Websites sometimes list groups that stopped meeting a while ago, and one honest answer saves several disappointing visits.
How do people here grow in their faith once they have joined?
Why ask it
Listen for something more specific than turning up on Sunday: a class, a reading plan, an older member who meets regularly with a newer one. If it is honestly left to each person, at least you know to arrange your own.
When does the church meet to pray, and how would I ask for prayer myself?
Why ask it
A prayer meeting on the calendar, with people at it, says more than a line on the website about valuing prayer. The second half matters on a bad week: is there a person to tell, a list, or a group that can be trusted to keep it private?
When a member is in hospital or in trouble, who from the church turns up?
Why ask it
It is the pastor every time in some churches, and in others elders, a care team or the person's small group. Find out too whether counselling is offered inside the church or referred to someone qualified outside it.
What does this church do for the neighbourhood it is in?
Why ask it
Last year's record is a better guide than this year's intentions: which projects ran, roughly how many people helped, and who the church worked alongside. You will also learn whether its effort goes into its own streets or mostly into work elsewhere.
What mission work does the church support, and what share of the budget goes to it?
Why ask it
A rough share of the budget is a fair thing to request, along with the names of the workers or organisations that receive it. Then find out whether members ever go themselves or only give.
How large is the congregation, and is it growing, steady or shrinking?
Why ask it
Size changes what you get. A small church will know your name and need your help, while a large one offers more programmes and more places to hide. The trend matters as much as the number, and so does what the leaders make of it.
Could you introduce me to a long-standing member and to someone who joined in the last year?
Why ask it
Long-standing members know the history, and recent joiners remember what it was like to arrive. Their accounts will not match exactly, and the gap between them is the thing to understand. A leader who is happy to make both introductions has told you something as well.
Yourself
Do I agree with this church on the beliefs I could not bend on?
Why ask it
Write down the two or three convictions you would not give up, and check each against what you were told and what you heard preached. A difference on a secondary point is far easier to carry than a weekly argument in your own head over a central one.
Could I listen to this teaching every week for years?
Why ask it
One good sermon proves little, so judge the ordinary ones. The test is whether you leave understanding the passage better or mostly admiring the speaker.
Do I trust these leaders enough to take correction from them?
Why ask it
Membership in many traditions means accepting some pastoral oversight. If you already know you would dismiss anything they said about your own life, joining will not go well for either side.
Is this church close enough that I will still come when I am tired?
Why ask it
A long drive feels fine in the first month and decides a great deal by the first winter. Count midweek meetings and children's activities, not only Sunday morning.
What would I bring to this church, and not only take from it?
Why ask it
A congregation is partly made by its members, so look for where your time and skills meet a real gap. If you cannot picture yourself helping anywhere, work out whether that is about this church or about the season you are in.
Would the rest of my household be glad to come?
Why ask it
A church that suits one of you and bores or unsettles the others becomes a weekly argument. Put the question to each person separately, children included, and take a reluctant answer seriously.
Would I be comfortable bringing a friend who has never been to church?
Why ask it
Picture one particular friend in the seat beside you through the welcome, the songs and the sermon. Wincing at the thought does not rule the church out, but it is worth naming what you would be wincing at.
Have I prayed about this, and talked it over with someone who knows me well?
Why ask it
A friend or a former pastor who has watched you over the years can tell you whether your reasons sound like you or like a reaction to something. Choose someone with nothing to gain from your decision, which leaves out anyone at the church you are weighing.
Am I joining this church, or mostly leaving the last one?
Why ask it
People who arrive hurt or angry tend to choose whatever looks least like the place they left. If that might be you, give it a few more months, and consider telling a leader here what happened.
Visiting and deciding
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Who to put each group of questions to
Beliefs: read first, then ask
Much of the Beliefs group is answered on the church's website or in its statement of faith. Read those before you meet anyone and spend the conversation on what is unclear or missing, which is a better use of a leader's hour.
Leadership, Money and safety, Membership: questions to ask a pastor or elder
These need someone with the authority to answer, ideally in a membership class or a booked conversation and not in the doorway after a service. Send the money and child safety questions ahead so the documents can be brought along.
Church life: leaders and ordinary members
Leaders describe the church as it is meant to work, and members describe it as it does. Put the questions about small groups, care in a crisis and provision for children to both, then compare the two accounts.
Yourself: after the visits, not before
The last group only makes sense once you have sat through several ordinary Sundays. Answer it on paper, alone, and then with anyone who would be joining with you.
If you only ask four
- 1What does this church believe, and may I read it? A written statement gives you something to check every later answer against.
- 2Who can overrule the senior pastor? The answer shows whether authority here is shared or rests on one person.
- 3What would membership commit me to? Giving, attendance, serving and any covenant should be stated before you join.
- 4How do people leave, and how are they spoken about afterwards? It is a fair preview of how the church behaves when things do not go its way.
What to do before you commit
- 1Visit several times, and make sure at least one visit falls on an ordinary week with no special service or guest speaker.
- 2Go to something midweek. A small group or Bible study shows you the church without a stage, and it is where you would get to know people.
- 3Listen to two or three recorded sermons you picked yourself, not only the ones recommended to you.
- 4Read the statement of faith, and the latest financial report if one is published.
- 5Meet a pastor or elder with your questions written down, and take note of which ones get a straight answer.
Signals worth weighing
- Ask a member what they disagree with the leadership about. An easy answer is reassuring. A member who cannot think of anything, or glances round first, is worth noticing.
- Notice how quickly you are asked to serve, give or commit. Pressure in the first few weeks is a reason to slow down, not to hurry.
- Watch how children and older members are treated in the corridor and the car park, when nobody is leading anything.
- Listen to how former members and other local churches are spoken about. Bitterness about either is worth weighing.
- Questions about money and children's safety should be easy for a leader to answer. If either meets irritation, ask again in writing and see what comes back.
Three more things to settle on your own
What you are actually looking for
Teaching, community, a place for children, and a tradition you recognise are different needs, and few churches do all of them equally well. Being clear on your own first priority makes the choice much simpler.
How much time you are offering
Membership costs evenings and weekends as well as Sunday mornings. Decide what you can give in a normal week before anyone asks, so that your yes means something and your no is not an apology.
Whether you could stay through a hard season
Churches go through departures, building debts and changes of leader. Ask yourself whether the reasons drawing you in would hold if the music, the pastor or the building changed.