Questions to Ask During General Conference
Questions to ask during General Conference, for a Latter-day Saint watching alone, a parent with children on the couch, or a youth leader who wants the class to have something to say the Sunday after. They run in the order the weekend does: what to bring before the first session, what to ask yourself while a session is on, what to ask children and then teenagers in the breaks, and what to settle once the last session has ended.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
To bring
What one question do I most want answered this conference?
Why ask it
Write it at the top of a page before the first session, and keep it to one. A narrow question, such as how to talk with a son who has stopped coming to church, is easier to hear an answer to than a general wish for direction.
What do I need to change, and am I ready to hear it?
Why ask it
Most people already suspect the answer: the temper, the phone at midnight, the prayer that got dropped. Write your guess beside the question before the first session, then see whether the weekend confirms it or names something you had not thought of.
What decision am I facing before the next conference?
Why ask it
Conference comes twice a year, so six months is the natural frame. Name the move, the job, the class or the relationship under your first question. Talks that never mention it can still bear on it, and you will only notice if it is written down.
What am I struggling to believe or understand right now?
Why ask it
A doubt is a fair thing to bring, in your own blunt wording and not the tidy version. One talk is unlikely to settle it, so note which speakers come near it and you will have a reading list for the weeks after.
Who am I worried about, and what do I need to know to help them?
Why ask it
Listening on someone's behalf changes what you hear. Keep the question about what you can do, because a talk forwarded to a struggling relative usually lands as a hint and seldom as a gift.
What did I set out to do after the last conference, and did I do it?
Why ask it
Find last time's notes before you start new ones. If they have vanished, or you cannot recall a single resolution, that is the case for a shorter list this time and for keeping it somewhere you look every day.
Which talk from six months ago has stayed with me?
Why ask it
Read or listen to it again during the week before. It gets you back into the habit of listening, and it shows what kind of message you hold onto: a story, one line, or a plain instruction. Listen for that kind this weekend.
What is most likely to pull my attention away this weekend?
Why ask it
Be specific: the phone in your hand, a game on the other screen, a toddler, a Saturday of chores squeezed between sessions. Decide now which sessions get your whole attention and which you will catch up on from the recording.
What do I hope each person in our home takes from this weekend?
Why ask it
Set the aim by age. For a four-year-old it may be knowing the prophet's face and sitting through one hymn, and for a fifteen-year-old one talk heard from start to finish. One aim apiece is plenty, and it stops you from measuring a child against an adult's weekend.
What question is each of our children bringing?
Why ask it
Ask at dinner the night before the first session and write each one on a card for the fridge. Children's questions come out concrete, like whether a temple will be built near us or how to stop being scared at night. Take them as asked and do not improve the wording.
During a session
How would I sum up this talk in one sentence?
Why ask it
Try to write it before the closing testimony. When you cannot, think back over the last two minutes, where most speakers say it again plainly, or look at the title once the talk is posted.
What am I learning about Jesus Christ from this speaker?
Why ask it
Talks close in his name, so listen for more than the mention: something he did, said or promised that the speaker built on. A line of this from each talk gives you, by the last session, a page that is about him and not about your to-do list.
Which sentence do I want to keep word for word?
Why ask it
Allow yourself one per talk. Copying everything keeps the pen moving and the mind somewhere else, and the full text usually goes up in the Gospel Library within days, so nothing is lost by putting the pen down.
What thought came to me that the speaker never said?
Why ask it
These lines will not be in the published text, which makes them the ones to protect. Mark them with a star or keep them in a column of their own, and a month later you can still tell your impressions from the speaker's words.
What is the speaker inviting me to do, and what is promised with it?
Why ask it
Listen for the verbs: I invite, I plead, I promise. Write the invitation as a task with a date and put the promise beside it. A page of duties with no promises next to them reads very heavy by Sunday afternoon.
Does this talk touch the question I brought?
Why ask it
Check between talks and not in the middle of one. Most will not touch it, and a blank beside a talk is fine. If the last session ends with nothing, try rewording the question before you decide it went unanswered.
What story did the speaker tell, and what was it doing there?
Why ask it
By Monday the stories are what everyone in the house still has. Work out whether it was an example to follow, a warning, or the speaker's own mistake. The third kind is the rarest and usually the most useful.
Have I heard this theme from another speaker this weekend?
Why ask it
Keep a tally inside the back cover. The speakers are widely understood to choose their own subjects, so members tend to take notice when one comes up in three or four talks. Your tally is also a quick answer when someone asks what conference was about.
Is there something in this talk I am pushing back against, and why?
Why ask it
Irritation is information. Copy down the sentence that bothered you with your reason next to it. It may be a sore spot, or it may be a real disagreement to study and take to someone you trust, and either is better than pretending you did not hear it.
Who came to mind while I was listening?
Why ask it
A name that turns up in the middle of a talk is usually a nudge toward something small: a text, a visit, an apology. Put the name and the action in the margin and do it before next Sunday, while you still remember why.
What did the music do that the talks did not?
Why ask it
The choir numbers are when most households go for snacks. Stay for one. A hymn you have sung since childhood can reach a part of you that an argument misses, and the title is worth a line in your notes.
When I raise my hand to sustain the church's leaders, what am I agreeing to?
Why ask it
The sustaining usually takes only a few minutes of one session, and people watching at home are invited to take part. Put it to a teenager afterward as well. Asking what supporting a leader looks like on an ordinary Tuesday gets you both past the gesture.
Kids
What was your favorite story from that session?
Why ask it
Children keep the stories and lose the reasoning, so begin where their memory is. Ask who was in it and how it ended. If two talks have been stirred into one, let it stand.
Which speaker did you like best, and what do you remember about them?
Why ask it
Expect "the one with the funny voice" or "the lady in the blue dress". For a six-year-old that is real listening. Follow by asking what she was talking about, and accept a single word.
Can you point to the prophet when he comes on?
Why ask it
One for the under-fives. Show them a picture of the president of the church before the session and let them call out when they see him. A child who finds that too easy can learn his two counselors next.
What did the prophet ask us to do?
Why ask it
Call children back from the toys when the president of the church is about to speak, and tell them this question is coming. One thing in their own words is enough, and it can go on the fridge as the family's goal.
What is one thing you heard about Jesus?
Why ask it
It brings a child back to the center of the weekend without a lecture. If the answer is "he loves us" every time, ask which story showed that, and the second answer will be the one to write down.
Which songs did you know?
Why ask it
Primary children often recognize a hymn the choir sings, and the hymn everyone stands for is a chance to stretch and sing along. A child who hums along was listening, whatever the rest of the session looked like.
Can you show me what you drew, and tell me about it?
Why ask it
Hand out paper and crayons before the session and ask this after it. Write their explanation under the picture in their own words, with the date. Those pages belong with the family's conference notes, and children like finding them six months later.
Which of our words did you hear the most?
Why ask it
This is the question behind conference bingo and tally jars. Choose five words together beforehand, perhaps temple, prophet, faith, family and Jesus Christ, and let them count. Counting keeps a small child listening without having to follow the talk.
If you gave a talk at conference, what would it be about?
Why ask it
Children give short talks in Primary, so the idea is not strange to them. Whatever subject they pick shows what they think matters most to God, or to you. Let a child who wants to try stand on a chair and give it.
Where in the world are the speakers from?
Why ask it
Many speakers mention where they grew up or where they served, and a parent can look up the rest. Keep a globe or a map by the couch: finding Ghana or the Philippines gives a restless child a job that still counts as paying attention.
What will you listen for in the next session?
Why ask it
Ask it as the break ends and let them choose: a story with an animal in it, a speaker from far away, the word temple. A child who picked the job comes back to the couch with less of a fight, and you have your first question for the next break.
Teens
Which talk sounded like it was meant for someone your age?
Why ask it
Some speakers address young people directly, and teenagers can tell being spoken to from being spoken about. Ask what the speaker got right about being sixteen, then what they got wrong, and take the second answer without arguing.
Was there anything you disagreed with or did not follow?
Why ask it
Ask with no correction ready. A teen who can say "that one bothered me" at home is less likely to carry it alone. "Tell me more" is the whole reply, with an offer to read the talk together once the text is up.
How would you explain that talk to a friend who is not a member?
Why ask it
Teenagers translate between church and school all week. How they would put it, or the admission that they would never bring it up, shows where the two halves of their life rub against each other.
If you could ask one of the speakers a question, what would it be?
Why ask it
This works with a skeptical teen as well as an eager one, since the question shows what is on their mind without their having to confess it. Offer to look together for an older talk on the subject. Past conferences in the Gospel Library can be browsed by topic.
Which line would you put on your lock screen?
Why ask it
It asks for a quotation without asking for notes. Some will turn it into a graphic and post it before the session is over, and that counts as taking part. Hold the question of why they chose it until later in the week.
What did you notice about how the speakers talked about people who are struggling?
Why ask it
Teens often listen on behalf of a friend who has stopped coming or a sibling with questions. What they noticed, kind or otherwise, deserves a hearing before you defend anyone. You will usually learn who they were thinking of.
Which sessions do you want to watch with us, and which would you rather catch up on?
Why ask it
A choice earns more goodwill than a blanket rule, and the recordings make it possible. Your house rules are yours to set. One session watched awake is still worth more than a weekend dozed through, so ask before the first session and not in the middle of an argument between two of them.
What is one thing you want to try before the next conference?
Why ask it
Six months, their pick, no editing by a parent. Small and odd goals, such as rereading one talk in January, get kept more often than large ones somebody else suggested. Ask whether they want reminding and respect a no.
What will you say if your class or quorum is asked about conference next Sunday?
Why ask it
Youth leaders can send this as a text during the weekend so that the next class does not open with silence. Ask for one sentence. A teenager who knows the question is coming listens for something to say.
Did anything you heard help with something you are dealing with?
Why ask it
Leave the something alone. Let the answer stay as vague as "the one about not comparing yourself", because pressing for details turns a conversation about faith into an interrogation and makes the next one less likely.
Afterward
Out of everything I wrote down, which two or three things will I act on?
Why ask it
Circle them on Sunday night while the weekend is fresh. A weekend of talks holds more good ideas than anybody can live at once, so choose the ones nearest the question you brought, put them where you will see them, and let the rest go without guilt.
Now that it is over, was my question answered?
Why ask it
Go back to the top line of your notes and write clear, partial or not yet beside it. With a not yet, keep the question in front of you while you reread over the coming months. Some people only find what they wanted on a second reading.
Which talk do I need to read slowly now that the text is out?
Why ask it
Listening and reading do different work. Pick one talk, print it or open it in the Gospel Library, and mark it up. The footnotes carry the scriptures and sources the speaker had no time to read aloud, and those are a study plan in themselves.
Which talk was each person's favorite, and why?
Why ask it
Sunday evening over dessert is the usual time. When two people choose the same talk for different reasons, stay there, because that is the conversation. Write down the youngest child's answer exactly as it was said.
What is one thing we will do as a family because of this conference?
Why ask it
Keep it to one, and small enough for the youngest to take part: a prayer said together before school, a visit to a neighbor, a trip to the temple grounds with a date on the calendar. It becomes the first thing to check when the next conference comes around.
How will we keep going back to these talks before the next conference?
Why ask it
Possibilities include a talk a week in the car, one at Sunday dinner, or one a month at home evening. Recent talks are also the basis of some Relief Society and elders quorum lessons, so reading ahead pays twice. Choose the rhythm you have kept before over the ambitious one.
What do I still not understand, and where will I take that question?
Why ask it
A question left over needs somewhere to go: the chapter a speaker quoted from, a parent, a leader, a friend who watched too. Copy it onto the last page of the notebook as well. In six months it may be the question you bring.
Which talk does my class or quorum most need, and how will I use it?
Why ask it
For teachers and youth leaders. Choose one talk, then one paragraph and one question from it, and leave the full video for people to watch at home. Ask the youth which talk they would have picked before you announce yours, since their choice is often the better one.
What worked about how we watched, and what should change next time?
Why ask it
A practical review while it is fresh: which sessions you saw live, where the children sat, whether the snacks and bingo helped or took over, whether Saturday was too full. Three lines at the back of the notebook will do, because in six months you will not remember any of it.
Getting more out of conference weekend
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
The week before
Put the question on paper
A question kept in your head gets quietly rewritten as the weekend goes on, until it matches whatever you happened to hear. Write it down the night before, date it, and give it the first page of the notebook you will use. Children's questions go on cards where everyone can see them, and a teenager's can stay private if they want it to.
Check the times where you live
The sessions are broadcast from the Conference Center in Salt Lake City, so the hours fall very differently around the world, and in some places a session is watched later from the recording or together at a meetinghouse. Look at the schedule the church publishes for your time zone, and ask in your ward or branch how it is usually done there.
Reread before you listen
Take the talk from six months ago that you remember best and the notes you made then, and read both in the days before. It takes twenty minutes and tells you two things: what you meant to do, and how well your way of taking notes served you.
Get the room ready for children
Paper, crayons, the bingo cards or tally jar, a blanket on the floor, and snacks portioned by session so they are not gone by Saturday lunch. The church publishes conference activity pages for children, and plenty of families make their own. Whichever you use, set it out the night before so the first session does not begin with a hunt for scissors.
Notes you will go back to
Two columns
Draw a line down the page. On the left goes what the speaker said: the main point and at most one sentence word for word. On the right goes what came to you while listening, including names, tasks and objections. The right-hand column is the one you will reread in March or September.
One line per talk, then stop
A session holds several talks, and a full page on each turns listening into dictation. The speaker's name, the point in a sentence and a mark showing whether it touched your question are enough. Everything else can be recovered from the published text.
With small children in the room
A parent of toddlers hears conference in pieces, and that belongs to the season and is not a failure. Choose one session to hear all the way through, perhaps from the recording after bedtime. For the others, settle for answering a single question from the During a session group each time.
Watching on your own
With nobody to talk to in the breaks, the first two groups of questions carry more of the weight. Read your right-hand column aloud between sessions, or arrange with a friend to trade one line by text after each session. Saying an impression to another person is a fair test of whether it holds up.
The breaks between sessions
One question, then lunch
Between sessions children are hungry and want to move. Ask a single question from the Kids group while the food is coming out, take whatever answer you get, and send them outside. The longer conversation can wait for Sunday evening.
Games that keep listening the point
Bingo, tallies and a treat for each word heard all work, up to the moment the game gets louder than the talk. Tie the reward to telling you something afterward and not only to shouting the word. If the snacks have become the event, drop to one game per session.
Ask teenagers side by side
The Teens questions go better in the kitchen, in the car or on a walk than across a room with the whole family watching. Ask one, answer it yourself as well, and let silence be an acceptable reply. A question refused on Saturday is often answered on Tuesday.
If you lead youth or teach a class
Send one question to the group before the weekend and one while it is under way, and say that the next class will start with their answers. Bring your own answer too, including a talk you found hard. Young people talk more freely after an adult has gone first with something unpolished.
Where the weekend goes wrong
A resolution for every talk
A resolution from every talk adds up to a list nobody keeps past the middle of the month. Two or three, chosen on Sunday night and written where you will see them, have a chance of lasting until the next conference.
Turning the questions into a quiz
A child who is tested after every session learns to dread the break. Ask because you want to know, accept "I don't remember", and say what you heard yourself. It matters even more with teenagers, who can tell a real question from a check on whether they were paying attention.
Listening for somebody else
It is easy to spend a whole talk thinking how much a spouse, a child or a neighbor needs it. Note the thought once, then ask what the same talk is saying to you. If nothing comes, put that in the notes as well. A talk that seems to be only about other people is a good candidate for the slow reread afterward.
Expecting everything by Sunday afternoon
Not every question brought on Saturday morning has an answer attached by the closing hymn, and deciding that you did it wrong helps nobody. Keep the question, keep reading the talks as they are published, and bring it again in six months if it is still open.