Questions to Ask Kids About God
Questions to ask kids about God, written for the adult doing the asking: a mother at lights out, a grandfather on the drive to church, a Sunday school teacher with ten minutes left. They begin with openers a four-year-old can answer, move through what God is like, the world God made and prayer, go on to fear, death and doubt, and close with the child's questions for you. Nothing here is a quiz: the aim is to hear what a child between about four and twelve already thinks before you add what you believe.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Start here
What do you think God is like?
Why ask it
Ask it with nothing after it and wait. A four-year-old tends to give you a size or a place and a ten-year-old a character, and either way you now have their own word to hand back: 'Big how?'
If you drew a picture of God, what would be in it?
Why ask it
Hand over paper if there is any, because a child who cannot say it can often draw it. Ask about whatever is in the corner, the sun, the dog, a brother, since that shows who God is near. In a family that does not make pictures of God, ask what would be around God instead.
Where do you think God lives?
Why ask it
Heaven, the sky, church and 'in my heart' all come up, and plenty of children give two at once without minding. Follow with 'Is God there right now, or here?' to find out whether God feels near or far to them.
If you could ask God one question, what would it be?
Why ask it
More than any other question here, this one shows what they are puzzling over at the moment. Do not answer on God's behalf: ask 'What do you think God would say?' and keep their question somewhere, a notebook or the fridge door.
What do you think God does all day?
Why ask it
The answer shows whether God is busy with the whole world, watching for mistakes, or looking after people the child knows. If it sounds like a guard on duty, ask 'What does God do while you are just playing?'
How old do you think God is?
Why ask it
Expect a number, often an enormous one, or 'older than Grandma'. It is the gentlest way into the idea of always: ask 'Was there a time before God?' and let them think instead of supplying the word eternal.
How would you explain God to a kid who had never heard of God?
Why ask it
Works from about seven up, when being the expert is a treat. What they say first is what they take to be the main point, and what they leave out is often something you assumed had sunk in.
What is one thing you know for sure about God?
Why ask it
Take whatever comes as theirs, even when it is a line from a song. Then ask 'How do you know that?', which tells you whether it came from you, from church or from something that happened to them.
Who has taught you the most about God?
Why ask it
Useful for a teacher with a new class and humbling for a parent, since the answer may be a grandmother, a friend or a cartoon. Ask what that person said that stuck.
What God is like
What do you think makes God happy?
Why ask it
Children usually name things they do: sharing, being kind, singing. Add 'Is God happy with you when you are not doing anything at all?' to learn whether they think God's liking has to be earned.
Is there anything that makes God sad?
Why ask it
Listen for whether the list is about the world (fighting, people being hungry) or about themselves (when I hit my brother). If it is all about them, a quiet 'Sad, or mad?' shows which of the two they are picturing.
What do you think makes God laugh?
Why ask it
A light one for the middle of a heavy stretch. The answer is often an animal or something the child did, and it shrinks a God who had seemed only strict. 'God doesn't laugh' deserves a gentle 'Never?'
Does God know what you are thinking right now?
Why ask it
For some children this is a comfort and for others it is alarming, so watch the face as well as the answer. If it lands as being spied on, ask 'Is that a nice thing or a worrying thing?' and say which it is for you.
Does God love people who do mean things?
Why ask it
There is usually a particular person behind the answer, often from the playground. Let them name the case, and ask 'What do you think God wants for that kid?' before you offer what your tradition teaches.
How can you tell that God loves you?
Why ask it
Younger children point to people and things: my family, my dog, pancakes. An older one who says 'I can't really tell' has been honest with you, so ask what would help them know before you set about proving it.
Is God more like a king, a parent, a friend, or something else?
Why ask it
Offering choices helps a child who goes blank at open questions. Ask why they picked it, and pay attention to 'something else': the comparisons children invent, a blanket, the sun, the air, are often better than the three on offer.
Is God with you at school, or only at home and at church?
Why ask it
This finds out whether God belongs to certain buildings in their mind. A child who says 'only at church' is telling you where they hear God mentioned, and the kitchen table is an easy place to add.
Where do you feel closest to God?
Why ask it
Whatever the place is, a treehouse, Grandpa's boat, the back pew, under the blanket, try having your next talk there. 'Nowhere' and 'I don't feel that' are answers too, and they are easier to give to an adult who does not look worried.
Does God still love you after you have done something wrong?
Why ask it
Best asked on an ordinary day, never in the hour after a scolding, when it sounds like part of the punishment. A slow or doubtful answer is your cue to say plainly what you believe about that.
Can God do anything, or are there things God would never do?
Why ask it
Older children enjoy the puzzle and may try to catch God out with a rock too heavy to lift. The second half matters more: what they say God would never do tells you what they think God is like at heart.
What do you know about Jesus?
Why ask it
A question for Christian homes and classes; skip it in a family of another faith. Small children tend to start with the baby in the manger and older ones with 'God's son', and asking what Jesus might have been like at their age turns a name into a person.
Creation
What is the best thing God ever made?
Why ask it
Ask it outdoors if you can, where there is something to point at. Whatever they choose, follow with 'What do you think God was thinking when that got made?'
Which animal do you think God had the most fun making?
Why ask it
Giraffes, platypuses and puppies are popular. It plants the idea that making things can be a pleasure, and a child who loves to draw or build will see the link if you ask what they most enjoy making.
Why do you think God made people?
Why ask it
Small children say 'so God would not be lonely' or 'to look after the animals', and both deserve a 'tell me more'. Keep the catechism answer, if your tradition has one, until they have finished theirs.
Why do you think God made everyone look different?
Why ask it
A good one after a child has pointed out a difference loudly in the grocery store. Their answer shows whether different sounds interesting or wrong to them, and you can ask what would be lost if everybody matched.
If God made everything, did God make mosquitoes and thunderstorms too?
Why ask it
This is a child's first go at a very old problem, and it should be enjoyed before it is solved. 'What do you think they are for?' is a better reply than an explanation, and 'I have wondered that too' is allowed.
What was there before God made the world?
Why ask it
This one tends to lead straight to 'Then who made God?'. You do not need a finished answer: 'People have asked that for a very long time. What do you think?' keeps them thinking, and you can add what you believe afterward.
How do you think God wants us to treat animals and the earth?
Why ask it
Turns belief into something to do this week. If they say 'take care of it', ask for one job: feeding the cat, picking up litter on the walk home, turning off the faucet.
How do you think God wants us to treat a kid who is left out?
Why ask it
A child will often name the left-out kid before answering, and sometimes it is themselves. Hear that first. The part about what God wants can wait until you know which side of the lunch table they are speaking from.
Prayer
What do you talk to God about?
Why ask it
It is phrased as talking, not praying, so a child with no set prayers can still answer. If the answer is 'nothing', ask what they would say if they did, and leave it there without a lesson.
What do you want to say thank you to God for today?
Why ask it
The easiest prayer question on the page and a good last one before lights out. Ask for something tiny and exact, the smell of toast, so it is not 'my family' every night, and give one of your own.
Who would you like to pray for tonight?
Why ask it
The name is often news to you: a classmate who was crying, the neighbor's dog. Ask what they want for that person, pray it in their words, and check back in a few days so they see you remembered.
What do you think God is doing while you pray?
Why ask it
Listening, writing it down, 'busy with other people': the picture tells you whether they expect to be heard. If God sounds too busy for them, ask how many prayers they think God can hear at once, and then give your own guess.
Do you have to close your eyes and fold your hands for a prayer to count?
Why ask it
Children raised on a bedtime routine often think the posture is the prayer. Ask where else they could pray (the bus, the swing, under the covers), and if your tradition has set postures or times, explain what they are for.
Is anything too small to pray about?
Why ask it
A lost toy, a spelling test and a sick hamster are the test cases. What they rule out shows what they think God cares about, and you can tell them the smallest thing you have ever prayed over.
Which prayer do you know by heart, and what do you think the words mean?
Why ask it
Go line by line and you will hear some wonderful mishearings. Enjoy them without laughing at the child, then explain one phrase and leave the others for another night.
How do you think God talks to people?
Why ask it
Answers run from a voice in the sky to 'a feeling in my tummy' to 'through you'. If they have been waiting for a real voice and heard nothing, say how you think it works for you, including the parts you are not sure of.
Have you ever asked God for something and it did not happen?
Why ask it
Do not hurry to defend God here. Ask how it felt and what they decided it meant, because a child who concluded 'God does not listen to me' or 'I did it wrong' has been carrying that alone.
When is it hard to pray?
Why ask it
When I am tired, when I am mad, when it is boring: all fair. Agree with the one that is true for you too, since a child who thinks adults always find it easy stops reporting when it is hard.
Hard things
When you are scared at night, where do you think God is?
Why ask it
Ask it in daylight first, so the answer is ready before it is needed. 'Right here' and 'far away in heaven' make for different bedtimes, and for the second you can ask what would help God feel closer: a short prayer, a nightlight, the door open.
Is anything worrying you that you would like God to help with?
Why ask it
Worries a child will not bring to you directly sometimes come out when God is the one being asked: a test, a parent's job, a friend who went quiet. Pray it with them if that is your habit, then do the part of it an adult can do.
Why do you think we can't see God?
Why ask it
Wind, love and a thought are all real and invisible, and a child asked 'What else can't you see?' can often find one of them unprompted. Leave the comparison for them to build, and do not worry if it is still unfinished when the car ride ends.
Why do you think sad things happen?
Why ask it
Hold back your own explanation until theirs is out, because children sometimes blame themselves or decide God was punishing someone. If you hear that, tell them what you believe instead, and admit that nobody has the whole reason.
When someone dies, where do you think they go?
Why ask it
Find out what they already picture before adding anything. Use the plain words died and dead, since 'gone to sleep' or 'God took her' can leave a small child wary of bedtime or of God, and give your family's belief as 'we believe' with room left for their questions.
What do you think heaven is like?
Why ask it
Expect pets, trampolines and the person they miss. This is not the moment to tidy up the details: ask who they hope to see there and what they would do first.
Is it okay to tell God you are angry?
Why ask it
A child who assumes the answer is no may simply stop praying when upset. If your tradition has prayers of complaint, and the Psalms are full of them, this is the place to read one aloud.
Do you ever wonder if God is real?
Why ask it
Say yes or no for yourself as well, truthfully. A child who learns the question is allowed keeps bringing it to you, and one who is hushed takes it somewhere else.
What would you say if a friend told you they do not believe in God?
Why ask it
It comes up at school, and rehearsing helps. Listen for whether they would argue, go quiet or change the subject, and talk about how two people can disagree on this and still share the swings.
Is there anything about God that seems unfair to you?
Why ask it
Nine-to-twelves have often been storing these up: why one person got better and another did not, why a prayer seemed to work for someone else. Write the complaint down as they said it and treat it as a real question, not as back talk.
Their turn
What have you always wanted to ask me about God?
Why ask it
Be ready for anything from 'Does God have a belly button?' to 'Why did Grandpa die?'. Answer the one they asked in a sentence or two, at the size they asked it, and say so when you need a day to think.
What is something about God that does not make sense to you?
Why ask it
It gives permission to be puzzled, which a child in a religious home may not know they have. If you cannot explain it either, say so, and offer to ask someone together: a pastor, a rabbi, an imam, a grandparent.
Which story about God do you like best, and who would you be in it?
Why ask it
The character they pick says more than the story does: the one in the boat, the one who ran away, the donkey. Ask what that character was feeling at the scary part.
Is there anything at church or in our prayers at home that you do not understand?
Why ask it
A standing invitation to ask about the odd parts: the standing and sitting, the old words, the bread, the head covering. Explain the one they chose in two sentences, or find out together from whoever leads your congregation.
What do you think I believe about God?
Why ask it
Children watch more than they listen, so expect to hear what you do, not what you say. Correct nothing in the moment, and if the answer surprises you, tell them one true thing about your own faith or doubt.
What should we wonder about next time?
Why ask it
This ends the talk with the child in charge of the next one. Write their topic where they can see it, and raise it yourself within the week so they learn you meant it.
Asking a child about God without turning it into a quiz
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Choosing the moment
Bedtime
Lights low and nobody looking at anybody is when the big ones come out. Ask one question, two at most, and stop while they still want to talk. A child who works out that God questions buy a later bedtime will produce theology on demand, which is fine now and then.
The car
Side by side with eyes on the road is the easiest seating for a shy or older child. Pick from What God is like or Creation, where there is something out the window to point at, and keep Hard things for a trip with no brothers or sisters in the back.
A class or group
With six or more children, take answers from several before you respond to any, so the first confident voice does not set the right answer for the room. Leave out the one-to-one questions about worry and wrongdoing, and tell parents at pickup which question you asked so the talk can carry on at home.
Four to six, and nine to twelve
Little ones think in pictures: where, how big, what color, what does God eat. Take the pictures seriously and do not push them on to ideas. From about nine the questions turn to fairness, proof and whether you really believe it yourself, and the child wants a straight answer from you more than a tidy one.
What to say after the answer
Say it back
'So God lives in the clouds and in your tummy.' Repeating the answer in their words, with no verdict attached, is the reply most likely to earn a second sentence. Then one follow-up: 'Tell me more about the tummy part.'
When the answer is not what you believe
A five-year-old's God with a beard and a remote control does not need fixing tonight. Try 'That is interesting. Here is how I think about it', which sets your view beside theirs instead of on top of it. Keep outright correction for ideas that frighten them, such as God sending an illness as punishment, and even then begin by asking where they heard it.
When you do not know
'I don't know, and I wonder about that too' is a complete answer. If your tradition has a teaching on the point, give it as 'our church teaches' or 'we believe', and say which parts you find easy and which hard. Traditions answer many of these questions differently, so for the fine points ask whoever leads your own congregation.
When they turn the question on you
Answer it, briefly and truthfully, in words their size. A child who asks 'Do you talk to God?' is checking whether this is something adults really do or something adults tell children to do.
Leave the pause alone
Count to seven in your head before you rephrase or rescue. A child may need a while to find words for something never said aloud before, and what arrives after the silence is often the answer they meant.
When it turns to fear, death or doubt
Follow, do not lead
Let the child decide how far a hard question goes. Answer the thing they asked in a sentence or two, then ask 'Does that help, or is there more?' Plenty of children take a small piece, go off to play and come back for the remainder days later.
After a death
Ask what they think happened before you tell them, and listen for self-blame or for the idea that God wanted the person more than the family did. Say what you believe as belief, in plain words, and let 'I miss her too' sit next to it. Expect the same question again next week; asking twice does not mean the first answer failed.
Doubt and anger
'I don't think God is real' from a ten-year-old is usually an opening and seldom a verdict. Thank them for telling you, ask what got them thinking, and resist both panic and a prepared speech. The child is watching to see whether honesty costs anything in your house.
When a talk is not enough
If worry about God, death or punishment is keeping a child awake, or keeps returning for weeks, a page of questions is the wrong tool. Bring in someone who knows the child, such as a faith leader you trust, the school counselor or the child's doctor, and ask them what would help.
Habits that make a child stop answering
Grading the answer
'Good!' for the answer you wanted and a pause for the other kind teaches a child to guess what you hope to hear. Thank them for all of it in the same voice.
A lesson after every reply
If each answer is followed by three minutes of teaching, the questions start to feel like bait. Ask five, teach once, and keep the teaching short enough to say in one breath.
Retelling it for laughs
The funny thing they said about God will get a laugh at dinner, and the child will hear that a serious answer was taken as a joke. Ask before you pass it on, and tell it with respect if they say yes.
Too many in a row
This page holds months of conversations, not one evening's. Three questions make a full bedtime, and a single question that gets a long answer beats three that get a word each.
Asking only when something is wrong
If God comes up only after a funeral or an argument, the subject starts to feel like trouble. Ask the light ones on ordinary days so the hard ones have somewhere to land.