Questions to Ask Kids About the Christmas Story
Questions to ask kids about the Christmas story once the book is closed, for a parent on the sofa, a Sunday school teacher or a children's ministry leader, with children from about three to twelve in mind. They run in the order the talk tends to go: retelling what happened, the people in it (Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, the wise men), why Jesus was born, what the nativity shows about God, how it reaches into your family's own Christmas, and last the children's questions for you. Luke 2 and Matthew 1 and 2 are the chapters to have open.
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The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Retelling
What part of the Christmas story do you remember best?
Why ask it
Ask it as soon as the book closes, before you prompt anything. A four-year-old tends to say the baby or the animals and a ten-year-old may pick the star or Herod, and whichever comes first is the place to start the rest of the talk.
Can you tell me the story back in your own words?
Why ask it
Let it run with the gaps and the wrong turns in it, and say only "Then what happened?" What gets left out, often Joseph or the reason for the trip, is the part to read again tomorrow.
Who is in the story? Can you name everyone?
Why ask it
Count them off on fingers. A list that reaches Mary, Joseph and the baby and then turns to the animals is normal, so note who is missing (the angels, the wise men, Herod) and ask about that person next.
Where was Jesus born, and why were Mary and Joseph so far from home?
Why ask it
Bethlehem is the easy half. The reason is the counting of the people in Luke 2, and for a child under eight "the emperor ordered every family back to its home town to be counted" is all the history needed.
What is a manger, and why was a baby laid in one?
Why ask it
A child raised on nativity scenes may think the manger is the building. It is the box the animals ate from, and once that lands, ask where they slept as a baby: the gap between a crib and a feed trough is the point of the detail.
How were the shepherds supposed to know which baby was the one?
Why ask it
The angel gave them a sign in Luke 2: a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger. Ask why that would be easy to spot, and a child who answered the manger question figures out that no other newborn in town was asleep in a feed box.
What did the wise men follow, and where did it stop?
Why ask it
The star is the quick half. For the second, go back to Matthew 2, where it stops over the place where the child was, and notice with them that the wise men went to Jerusalem and asked for directions first. If it is dark out, look up together and ask how you would follow a light in the sky.
What happened first: the angel visiting Mary, the walk to Bethlehem, or the shepherds in the field?
Why ask it
A sorting question for five to seven. Lay three figures from the nativity set on the table and let them put the scenes in order with their hands, which suits a child who goes silent when asked to retell.
If you drew one scene from the story, which would it be?
Why ask it
Have paper within reach, because some children will show you what they cannot say. Look at what is drawn biggest and ask about it. A sky full of angels over a tiny stable tells you where the story lives for them.
Which part of the story feels scary, and which part feels happy?
Why ask it
An angel in the dark and nowhere to sleep are the usual scary picks, and they are right: fear is in the text. In Luke the angel's first words to the shepherds are a reply to exactly that fear.
The people
How do you think Mary felt when the angel told her she would have a baby?
Why ask it
Luke 1 gives her more than one feeling: she is troubled by the greeting, she asks how it can be, she says yes, and a little later she sings. So scared, confused and happy are all right answers. Follow with "What would you have asked the angel?"
What do you think Joseph was thinking through all of this?
Why ask it
Joseph is the one children forget, and he does not speak a single line in either account. Matthew gives him a dream and a decision to stay. Ask what kind of dad they think he turned out to be.
What do you imagine the trip to Bethlehem was like for Mary?
Why ask it
Luke gives no donkey and no details, so this is fair ground for imagining: walking for days, tired, with a baby almost due. Compare it with the longest car ride they remember and who complained most.
How would you feel if you arrived somewhere tired and there was no room for you?
Why ask it
A child who has been left out of a game or has moved house may answer from experience, so do not rush on to the manger. If your picture Bible has a grumpy innkeeper, an older child may enjoy hearing that Luke never mentions one.
Why do you think the angels went to shepherds and not to a king?
Why ask it
"Because they were awake" is a fine first answer. Shepherds were working people out in the fields overnight, and the thing to draw out is that the announcement reached them before anyone with a title.
What would you have done if you were a shepherd and the sky filled with angels?
Why ask it
Let the silly answers come first; hiding under a sheep is a reasonable plan. Then read what the shepherds did in Luke 2: they hurried off to find the baby, and afterward they told everyone they met.
Luke says Mary kept all these things and thought about them in her heart. What do you think that means?
Why ask it
Better from about eight, when a child knows what it is to turn something over privately. Ask whether there is a day they still think about, and notice together that Mary, unlike the shepherds, did not hurry out to tell anyone.
Why did the wise men travel so far to see a baby?
Why ask it
Matthew says only that they came from the east, looking for a child born king of the Jews. Point out that they were foreigners, which puts outsiders in the story almost from its first page.
What gifts did the wise men bring, and which is the strangest one for a baby?
Why ask it
Frankincense and myrrh are both dried tree resins, one burned for its smell and one used in perfume and ointment, and Matthew does not say why they were chosen. Gifts fit for a king is the usual reading. Then ask what a new baby could have used that night: a child who says a blanket is picturing a real infant and not a figure in a crib scene.
How many wise men were there?
Why ask it
Matthew never gives a number, and three comes from the three gifts, so this is a trick question best kept for eight and up. Catching "We Three Kings" out is the fun of it, and it starts a hunt for what else in the nativity set is not in the Bible.
Why was King Herod upset to hear that a new king had been born?
Why ask it
A king afraid of losing his throne is something a seven-year-old can grasp, and that is enough of an answer. What Herod does next in Matthew 2 is violent. Many children's Bibles leave it out, and you can as well until they are older.
If we acted the story out, which part would you want to play?
Why ask it
The angel gets the big line, the shepherd gets to run, and somebody always wants to be the sheep. Ask what that character could see from where they stood, then act it out in the living room if there is a bathrobe handy.
Why Jesus came
Why was Jesus born?
Why ask it
Ask it plainly and take the first answer as it comes, even if that is "so we could have Christmas." The angels' words are the material for a fuller one: a name that means the Lord saves, good news for all people, a Savior. Come back to the question at the end and see whether the answer has grown.
Why do you think God sent Jesus as a baby and not as a grown-up king?
Why ask it
There is no single line to recite here. An answer like "So he would know what being a kid is like" sits close to what many churches teach, so let it stand without polishing it.
The angel told Joseph to name the baby Jesus. Do you know what the name means?
Why ask it
It means "the Lord saves", and Matthew 1 gives the reason with it: he will save his people from their sins. Start with their own name, what it means or who chose it, and the idea that a name can carry a job makes sense quickly.
Another name in the story is Immanuel, which means "God with us." What do you think it would be like to have God with you?
Why ask it
Small children take it literally: in the room, at the table, on the bus. That is a good reading, not a mistake. With an older child, ask when in a day they would most want it to be true.
The angel called this baby good news for all people. What was the good news?
Why ask it
Listen for whether they say "a baby was born" or reach for what the baby would do. Then press on the word all: does it cover people far away, people who lived later, the kid who is mean at recess?
The angel also called him a Savior. What do you think a savior does?
Why ask it
A lifeguard or a firefighter is a fair place to start. "Saved from what?" is the follow-up, and their answer comes before yours. If you are unsure how to put it for a six-year-old, ask your children's leader how your church words it.
What did the baby in the manger grow up to do?
Why ask it
Some children hold a baby Jesus and a grown one with nothing in between. Ask for one thing he did, a healing, a meal for a crowd, a story he told, and then open the picture Bible to it so the manger joins up with the rest.
How is the Christmas story connected to Easter?
Why ask it
A child can reach eight without anyone having said that the two holidays are about the same person, so start there. Churches explain the cross differently and introduce it at different ages: give your own tradition's answer in a sentence and stop.
People had waited a very long time for this baby. What is the longest you have ever waited for something?
Why ask it
Begin with their waiting: a birthday, a new sister, a cast coming off. Then tell them the people in the Bible had waited for generations, which is what the four weeks of Advent act out in churches that keep it.
What do you think is the most important part of the story?
Why ask it
Not the same as the part they remember best, and worth setting beside it. A child who remembered the star first and now says the baby matters most has followed the whole talk. Ask why that part, and hold back your own choice until they have finished.
About God
What does this story tell you about what God is like?
Why ask it
Hold it until the retelling is done, or it gets a shrug. Kind, sneaky, good at surprises, likes babies: take each word and ask which part of the story shows it, so the answer stays tied to the page.
The angels keep saying "Do not be afraid." Why do you think they say it so many times?
Why ask it
Mary hears it, Joseph hears it in his dream and so do the shepherds. "Because angels are scary" is the first answer and a good one. Then ask what it says about God that the message opens that way, a good thing to wonder about with a worrier at bedtime.
Who does God pick in this story: important people or ordinary ones?
Why ask it
A young woman from a small town, a carpenter and men who slept outdoors with sheep. Ask an older child whether those are the people they would have chosen, and then who gets overlooked in their class.
What promise did God keep on the night Jesus was born?
Why ask it
It only works for a child who has heard that people were told long before to expect a ruler from Bethlehem, the old line Matthew quotes in chapter 2. If that is new to them, tell it in one sentence first, then ask about a promise somebody kept to them.
How do you think God felt on the night Jesus was born?
Why ask it
There is no verse to check this against, which is why it is worth asking. Whether a child says proud or "a bit sad to let him go", you learn if the God they picture has feelings at all.
If God wanted the whole world to know, why did it happen so quietly, at night in a small town?
Why ask it
A puzzle for nine and up, and "fireworks would have worked better" deserves a real hearing. Ask who noticed and who slept through it, then what quiet thing got missed at school this week.
Our Christmas
Why do we celebrate Christmas?
Why ask it
Worth asking twice: once before you open the book and once after you close it, to hear whether the baby has made it into the answer. With a child who can read, write the word Christmas down and let them find whose name is inside it.
Why do we give presents at Christmas?
Why ask it
"So we get stuff" is an honest answer, and so is Santa. Wait and see whether they find a link to the story by themselves, the wise men's gifts or the baby as a gift, before you supply one.
Which of our Christmas decorations come from this story?
Why ask it
Make it a walk around the house: the star on the tree, an angel, the nativity set, maybe candles. The snowmen and reindeer that fail the test are still welcome, so keep it a treasure hunt and not a ranking.
Whose birthday is Christmas, and how could we keep it like a birthday?
Why ask it
The one to ask a three-year-old. Some families bake a cake and sing on Christmas morning. Whatever the child suggests, a candle, a song, a card, choose one idea and do it this year.
What could we give Jesus this year?
Why ask it
Expect a drawing, a favorite toy or "being nice to my brother". Help turn the vague ones into one thing for one person before Christmas Day, and leave it there: tracked on a chart, it becomes a chore.
The shepherds told everyone what they had seen. Who could we tell or invite this Christmas?
Why ask it
The pageant or the Christmas Eve service is the easy invitation, to a grandparent, a neighbor or a school friend. Let the child pick the person and do the asking, and treat a no from the friend's family as a perfectly good answer.
There was no room for Mary and Joseph. Who could we make room for this Christmas?
Why ask it
Wait for a specific name: the new kid in class, the neighbor whose lights are never on. Have a small yes ready, a plate of cookies, a card or a chair at the table, since a good idea that goes nowhere teaches the wrong thing.
Which Christmas carol tells this story best?
Why ask it
Sing a verse and then ask what the words mean. "Away in a Manger" says the baby did not cry, so ask whether they believe that. The mishearings of "round yon virgin" are worth collecting too.
Which parts of our Christmas would Mary or the shepherds recognize, and which would puzzle them?
Why ask it
Good fun from about eight. The tree, the stockings and the inflatable snowman would baffle them, and the songs about angels would not. It sorts the day into what came from the story and what was added later, without a lecture.
How is the story of Santa different from the story of Jesus being born?
Why ask it
For your own children only, and only if you know where they stand on Santa. A child can happily keep both, so do not use it to end one. In a class, skip it: families handle Santa in their own ways and that is not a teacher's call.
Their turn
What do you wonder about in this story?
Why ask it
Say it and then wait longer than is comfortable. Write the wonderings down where the child can see them, answer one, and keep the others for another night so the list becomes something you return to.
Is there anything in the story that does not make sense to you?
Why ask it
Be ready for how Mary could have a baby, how a star can stop over a house and why nobody gave up a bed. Answer what was asked at the level it was asked, and "I will find out" is allowed as long as you do.
Do you think this story really happened?
Why ask it
It tends to arrive around the age Santa comes into doubt, when a child is sorting which December stories the adults mean. Say plainly what you believe and why, and let them stay unsure for as long as they need.
If you could ask Mary one question, what would it be?
Why ask it
The question shows what the child is still chewing on: was she scared, did it hurt, what did the baby look like. Swap Mary for a shepherd or a wise man with a child who has gone quiet, and try answering in character.
Which part should we read again tomorrow?
Why ask it
It hands the choice of ending to the child. Small children ask for the same page night after night, and that is how the story gets learned. Mark the place together so tomorrow starts without a search.
Talking over the nativity with children after you read it
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Read it together first
Which chapters
Luke 2:1-20 is the birth, the manger and the shepherds, and it reads aloud in a few minutes. The angel's visit to Mary is in Luke 1, and Joseph's dream, the wise men and Herod are in Matthew 1 and 2. For children under six a picture Bible or a storybook retelling does the same job, as long as you have looked at what it adds.
Two accounts, one nativity set
The shepherds belong to Luke and the wise men to Matthew, who has them find the child in a house. The crib scene on the mantel puts everyone in the stable at once. Small children do not need this untangled, and from about eight they enjoy being let in on it.
Figures in their hands
A nativity set that can be handled is the best prop there is. Give each child a figure and ask the question about that person while they hold it. In a class, pass the figures around the circle so the quiet ones have something to do before they have something to say.
At home and in a class
At home, ask three or four after the reading and stop while it is still pleasant. With a group, give each question to pairs for half a minute before anyone answers aloud, so the child who knows the story by heart does not answer for the room. Print one question on the take-home sheet and the talk has a chance of continuing in the car.
Pitching it by age
Under six
Stay in Retelling and with the easier questions about the people: who was there, where the baby slept, what the shepherds saw. Ask about feelings and pictures, not meanings, keep it to two or three, and let the birthday question from Our Christmas be the only one about why.
Six to eight
This is the age for The people and for a first try at Why Jesus came. Children now want the facts right, so the manger, the star and the three gifts are satisfying, and they can take one wondering question after a few they are sure of.
Nine to twelve
Older children like being trusted with the real text. Read Luke and Matthew side by side, let them spot the innkeeper and the donkey that are not there, and spend most of the time in About God and Their turn. They will ask whether you believe it, so decide beforehand how you will answer.
A mixed table
With a four-year-old and an eleven-year-old at one table, give the small one a recall question and then ask the older one why that detail matters. Keep the older child from answering the small one's question, and let the small one go and play before the long discussion starts.
When the answer is wrong, funny or hard
Mixed-up details
'The wise men came on reindeer' gets a smile and a trip back to the page: 'Let's look at what it says.' Questions about what happened have right answers and a child is glad to get them straight. Correct the fact and never the child's way of telling it.
Questions with no answer key
Why a baby, why shepherds, how God felt: nothing in the text settles these, and a child's guess is the answer you were after. Reply with 'What makes you think so?' and offer your own view afterward as one more guess beside theirs.
When they ask how Mary had a baby
Find out what they are asking before you answer. A five-year-old usually wants to know only that Mary was the mother and that the story says God gave her this baby in a way that happened once. Churches word this differently for different ages, so ask your pastor or children's leader what yours says.
Herod and the frightening parts
Matthew's account turns dark after the wise men leave. For young children, 'Herod wanted to hurt the baby, an angel warned Joseph in a dream, and the family got away to Egypt' is truthful and enough. If a child has heard the rest elsewhere, answer briefly and say you will tell them more when they are older.
Ways the talk goes flat
A quiz with a prize
Recall questions are useful for the first two minutes. Kept up for ten, they teach a child that the nativity is a test, and the one who does not know the answers stops raising a hand.
The moral tacked on
'And that is why we should share' after each answer trains children to say what earns the nod. Let most answers stand with a thank you, and save what you want to teach for one sentence when the questions are over.
Jesus against Santa
Setting the two up as rivals makes a child choose between the nativity and the fun, and a six-year-old will pick the fun. Ask about the manger and the shepherds for their own sake, and let the presents and the stockings be what they are. The one Santa question in Our Christmas is for a child who is already comparing the two at home.
Asking once a year
A story heard only on Christmas Eve, squeezed between dinner and the presents, has little chance. Read it early in December and come back to a different group of questions each week, and by the last reading the children can nearly tell it themselves.