Questions to Ask When Babysitting

The questions

Open any question to see why it works.

1. 1

   Can you text me your plan for tonight and when you expect to be back?

   A time in writing behaves differently from a time said in a doorway. It also puts their number at the top of your recent messages, which matters when you need it fast and cannot remember where you wrote it down.

2. 2

   Who else might come to the door or call tonight?

   A grandparent stopping by, a neighbor collecting a package, an ex-partner. Knowing who is expected lets you be firm with everyone who is not, which is much easier than deciding on the doorstep at nine at night.

3. 3

   Where will you be, and will your phone be on the table or in a pocket?

   A movie theater, a wedding speech or a loud basement restaurant can mean two hours of unanswered calls. Ask for a second contact who will definitely pick up, before you are in a situation where you need one.

4. 4

   What have the kids already been told about tonight?

   Children negotiate with sitters using half-remembered promises. Finding out what was actually agreed while the parents are still in the room removes the argument you would otherwise lose at seven o'clock.

5. 5

   Which door do you use, and how do I lock up if I step outside?

   Sitters get shut out of yards and porches more often than you would expect. Ask about any latch that self-locks, and whether any exit needs a key from the inside, which matters in a fire.

6. 6

   What is the alarm code, and what do I do if it goes off by accident?

   The code alone is not enough. You also want the passphrase the monitoring company asks for on the phone, because otherwise a false alarm ends with police at the door and a frightened child behind you.

7. 7

   Is anyone feeling unwell today, even slightly?

   A child who was a little off at school usually gets worse near bedtime. Ask what has already been given and at what time, because the next safe dose window is the one thing you cannot work out on your own.

8. 8

   Where are the emergency numbers and the street address written down?

   In an emergency you will be asked for the full address, and it is remarkably easy to blank on it inside somebody else's house. Ask where it is written and put it in your phone before they leave.

9. 9

   If they get hurt, at what point do you want me to call you?

   Draw the line explicitly: a bumped head, a split lip, a fall from something high. Parents differ enormously, and knowing their threshold stops you both from over-calling and from hesitating when you should not.

10. 10

    What do you do when one of them will not stop crying?

    Ask before they walk out the door. Every family has a method that works, and without it you will cycle through your own methods while a child becomes more upset. Ask what they do at three in the morning.

11. 11

    Am I allowed to take them outside, and how far?

    Covers the yard, the sidewalk, the park and the store. Ask about car seats too, because driving someone else's children is a separate permission and often a separate insurance question.

12. 12

    Is there anything about your family I should know if the kids bring it up?

    A separation, a death, a grandparent in the hospital, a job that ended. Children raise these at bedtime with a near-stranger. A short warning lets you answer calmly instead of visibly not knowing what to say.

13. 13

    Can I have someone else here, and would you want to know either way?

    The honest version of a question most sitters avoid asking. Asking first protects you, and most parents care far less about the answer than about being told rather than finding out.

14. 14

    What does your mom or dad usually let you do at this time?

    Ask the children this as an open question rather than yes or no. They will over-claim, but they answer with specifics you can compare against what the parents said, which beats arguing from authority.

15. 15

    Show me how bedtime works. What comes first?

    Asking a child to demonstrate the routine turns compliance into a job they are in charge of. It also surfaces the details parents skip, like the particular song or the hallway light that stays on.

16. 16

    What do you want to do while we have the time?

    One real choice offered early buys cooperation later. Keep it bounded: two options rather than an open field, and nothing that cannot be finished before the routine has to start.

17. 17

    Who do you like playing with at school?

    A low-stakes way to get a quiet child talking, and it usually leads somewhere else on its own. Children almost never refuse this one, which is why it works with a child who has gone shy on you.

18. 18

    Is there anything here that makes you scared at night?

    Worth asking early, calmly, and only once. A child who mentions the furnace noise or the shadow in the hallway at seven does not have to explain it in tears at nine.

19. 19

    When you get back, what would you like the house to look like?

    Expectations about dishes, toys and tidying are almost never stated out loud and are quietly used to judge you afterward. Asking turns it into a task rather than a test you did not know you were taking.

20. 20

    Now that you are home, is there anything you would do differently next time?

    Ask once, after they return, and take the answer plainly. It is the question that turns a one-off evening into a regular booking, and most parents will offer something small and genuinely useful.