Questions to Ask When Courting
Thoughtful questions to ask during courtship, helping you understand your partner's values, goals, and compatibility for a long-term relationship.
1What are your core values and beliefs?
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What are your core values and beliefs?
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Why this works
Reveals their foundation while providing insight into what principles guide their decisions and life choices.
2What are your long-term goals and aspirations?
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What are your long-term goals and aspirations?
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Why this works
Shows their future vision while revealing their ambitions and what they hope to achieve in life.
3How do you approach conflict and disagreement?
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How do you approach conflict and disagreement?
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Why this works
Reveals their communication style while providing insight into how they handle challenging situations in relationships.
4What does marriage mean to you?
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What does marriage mean to you?
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Why this works
Shows their relationship philosophy while revealing their understanding of commitment and partnership.
5What are your views on children and parenting?
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What are your views on children and parenting?
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Why this works
Reveals their family planning while providing insight into whether your visions for family align.
6How do you approach finances and money management?
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How do you approach finances and money management?
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Why this works
Shows their financial habits while revealing their approach to spending, saving, and financial responsibility.
7What role does faith or spirituality play in your life?
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What role does faith or spirituality play in your life?
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Why this works
Reveals their spiritual foundation while providing insight into how faith influences their values and decisions.
8How do you envision dividing household responsibilities?
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How do you envision dividing household responsibilities?
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Why this works
Shows their expectations while revealing their views on partnership and shared domestic duties.
9What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
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What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
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Why this works
Reveals their relationship standards while providing insight into what they expect from a partnership.
10How do you approach personal growth and development?
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How do you approach personal growth and development?
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Why this works
Shows their commitment to growth while revealing their approach to self-improvement and learning.
11What are your career ambitions and how do they fit with family life?
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What are your career ambitions and how do they fit with family life?
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Why this works
Reveals their work-life priorities while providing insight into how they balance professional and personal goals.
12How do you handle stress and difficult emotions?
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How do you handle stress and difficult emotions?
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Why this works
Shows their emotional health while revealing their coping strategies and emotional maturity.
13What are your expectations for intimacy and affection?
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What are your expectations for intimacy and affection?
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Why this works
Reveals their physical needs while providing insight into their expectations for physical and emotional intimacy.
14How important is family to you and what role will they play?
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How important is family to you and what role will they play?
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Why this works
Shows their family values while revealing how much influence extended family will have in your relationship.
15What are your non-negotiables in a relationship?
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What are your non-negotiables in a relationship?
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Why this works
Reveals their boundaries while providing insight into what they absolutely require from a partner.
16How do you approach forgiveness and reconciliation?
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How do you approach forgiveness and reconciliation?
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Why this works
Shows their grace while revealing their ability to forgive and work through relationship challenges.
17What are your views on gender roles in marriage?
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What are your views on gender roles in marriage?
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Why this works
Reveals their expectations while providing insight into how they envision partnership and responsibilities.
18How do you envision spending quality time together?
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How do you envision spending quality time together?
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Why this works
Shows their relational needs while revealing what activities and time investment they value in relationships.
19What have you learned from past relationships?
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What have you learned from past relationships?
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Why this works
Reveals their growth while providing insight into their relationship history and lessons learned.
20How do you want to grow together as a couple?
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How do you want to grow together as a couple?
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Why this works
Shows their future vision while revealing their commitment to mutual growth and partnership development.
Best Practices for Courtship Conversations
Expert tips and techniques for getting the most out of these questions.
Best Practices
Take Your Time with Important Questions
Don't rush through important topics. Space out meaningful conversations to allow time for reflection and honest responses.
Be Honest and Vulnerable
Share your own answers to these questions and be open about your values, goals, and expectations.
Listen Without Judgment
Create a safe environment where both partners can share honestly without fear of criticism or rejection.
Question Sequences
The Values and Beliefs Focus
The Future Planning
Common Pitfalls
Don't Avoid Difficult Topics
Address potentially uncomfortable subjects like finances, children, and family roles early to avoid surprises later.
Avoid Making Assumptions
Don't assume your partner shares your views on important topics. Ask explicitly and listen carefully to their answers.
Don't Rush to Commitment
Take time to truly get to know each other and ensure your values and goals align before making long-term commitments.