Fun Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Questions with no agenda behind them, for making your girlfriend laugh on the drive home, across the couch or in a text thread on a slow afternoon. There are 95, starting with Silly what-ifs and Random favorites, then Would you rather and Debates, and ending with two groups that need some shared history: Know me, where she guesses the answers about you, and Cute. Each has a note with the follow-up to ask or the game to make of it.
Want questions from the whole vault instead? Try the random question generator.
The questions
Each question, and why to ask it
Silly
If you were a candle, what would your scent be called?
Why ask it
The fun is in the name: 'Clean Sheets and Mild Panic' says more than any description could. Have her name yours too, and ask whether she'd actually buy it.
What job would get you fired before lunch on the first day?
Why ask it
She knows her own weak spots, and this lets her brag about them. Follow up with the job she thinks you'd lose fastest, and accept the verdict.
If you had to wear a T-shirt with one sentence on it every day, what would it say?
Why ask it
A slogan is a tiny self-portrait: 'I was told there would be snacks' and 'Please text, don't call' are two different women. Then each of you writes the other's shirt.
In a zombie movie, how long do the two of us last, and which of us makes the fatal mistake?
Why ask it
Let her tell the whole plot, including the moment one of you goes back for the phone charger. If she has you gone in the first ten minutes, ask for a recount.
If you woke up tomorrow as a house cat, what's the first thing you'd knock off a table?
Why ask it
Cat owners answer in a second, and it's usually something of yours. Ask for the look she'd give you while doing it, then confess what you'd push off her shelf.
If we were cartoon characters, what would be the one outfit each of us wears in every episode?
Why ask it
She has to pick the most typical version of you, and it's rarely the one you'd choose. The gray hoodie you thought nobody noticed is about to be named.
If you spent a night locked inside any store, which store is it, and where do you head first?
Why ask it
Choosing the store is only the start. Plan the whole night together: the first aisle, the midnight snack, and where exactly each of you is sleeping.
If a network gave you your own show tomorrow, what's it about, and who's the first guest?
Why ask it
It could be a cooking show where everything burns or a talk show taped from her couch. The first guest matters: if it isn't you, find out who beat you and why.
If you were handed a hundred dollars that had to be gone in ten minutes, where are we going?
Why ask it
The time limit rules out the sensible answer. Try it when you're walking past shops, and give her the same ten minutes with whatever you can spare, even five dollars.
If you were locally famous in a small town, what would it be for?
Why ask it
Not world famous, just known at the post office. 'The woman with the enormous sunflowers' and 'four-time winner of the chili cook-off' are both ambitions worth hearing about.
What would you bring to a potluck if the goal was never to be invited again?
Why ask it
Inventing a bad dish takes real imagination: tuna in gelatin, a salad made only of raisins. Vote on whose is worse, on the condition that nobody ever cooks it.
If a five-year-old picked a tiny tattoo for you, what do you think you'd end up with?
Why ask it
A lopsided dinosaur, most likely, or a dog with seven legs. Ask where she'd put it, and whether she'd keep it out of loyalty to the artist.
If you could stock a vending machine with anything, what goes in the top row?
Why ask it
Top row means the good stuff, so you hear her cravings in order. Some people fill it with snacks and others with phone chargers and dry socks, and you'll know which kind she is.
If a pet you've had could talk for one minute, what would it say about you?
Why ask it
Pets have seen everything: the singing, the midnight snacks, the baby voice. If she never had one, ask what a childhood stuffed animal would report instead.
If the two of us were a sports team, what would our mascot be?
Why ask it
She has to boil the pair of you down to one animal or object, which is harder than it sounds. Draw it on a napkin, badly, and keep the napkin.
If anything at all could be delivered to you in the next five minutes, what are you ordering?
Why ask it
Right now is the trick: her answer at three on a workday and her answer at midnight are not the same thing. If it's something a person can buy, you know what to turn up with next time.
Which unimpressive world record do you think you could actually hold?
Why ask it
The smaller the record, the better: most hair ties lost in one year beats anything athletic. Ask how she'd train for it, and which record she thinks you already hold without trying.
Random
What's your comfort movie, the one you could recite with the sound off?
Why ask it
Everyone has one, and it's seldom the film they'd call the best. Offer to watch it with her and let her say the lines, which is the right way to see it.
Which cereal was off limits in your house growing up, and have you made up for it since?
Why ask it
Childhood rules about sugar leave a mark. If she bought a whole box the week she moved out, ask how long the thrill lasted.
What weather do you secretly hope for on a day with nothing planned?
Why ask it
Rain people want permission to stay in, and sun people feel guilty if they do. Either way, you know what to suggest the next time the forecast matches.
What small rule do you live by that you made up yourself, like never taking the front carton off the shelf?
Why ask it
These are private superstitions, and most people have never said theirs out loud: the second carton of milk, the volume on an even number. Once you know hers, honor it without being asked.
Which birthday of yours would you rerun exactly as it happened?
Why ask it
Listen for what made it: the people, the surprise or just the cake. That's a free briefing for her next one, so file it away without announcing that you have.
What's the last thing you bought that made you far happier than it should have?
Why ask it
Small purchases say what she enjoys day to day: a nine-dollar milk frother, a pen that writes properly, socks with foxes on them. They also make the easiest presents to get right.
Which year of school would you redo just for fun, and which would you pay to skip?
Why ask it
The year she'd skip usually has the better story. Keep it light: you're after the bad haircut and the terrible bus route, not a full report.
What's your perfect pizza, and which topping would make you reconsider me?
Why ask it
Memorize the first half, because you'll be ordering it someday. The second half is a dare, so state your worst topping proudly and see what happens.
What hidden talent of yours have I still not seen?
Why ask it
Whether it's a cartwheel, a card trick or every state capital in order, the only acceptable follow-up is 'show me'.
On family trips when you were little, what do you remember that had nothing to do with the destination?
Why ask it
Kids tend to keep the motel pool and the fight over the front seat and lose the monument. Those side details show what her family was like in a car, which no photo album does.
What's the oldest photo on your phone, and why has it survived every cleanup?
Why ask it
If she's happy to, she scrolls to the very bottom and shows you. A picture that has outlived several phones is there for a reason, and the reason is usually a person or a pet.
Which movie has everyone seen except you, and are you avoiding it on purpose?
Why ask it
Sometimes it's an accident and sometimes it's a stand. An accident gives you a movie night; a stand deserves a hearing before you try to change her mind.
Which song are you wearing out this month, and can I hear the best thirty seconds of it?
Why ask it
The title isn't enough, so get her to play her favorite part. It's an easy one to send by text too: she replies with a link and you answer with yours.
Which place have you sworn you'll get to someday, and what are you doing in the first hour there?
Why ask it
The first hour keeps it from turning into a travel brochure, because she has to picture one real afternoon. Trade answers and see whether a single trip could cover both.
What did you think was the height of luxury when you were ten?
Why ask it
A fridge with an ice dispenser, a hotel with a breakfast buffet, a friend's house with two staircases. If it's still within reach, arrange it: a ten-year-old's dream is usually affordable.
What's your favorite way to waste an hour?
Why ask it
'Waste' gives her permission to be honest about the puzzle game or the videos of people cleaning rugs. Ask to join in for ten minutes instead of teasing.
Would you rather
Would you rather understand what dogs are saying or have dogs understand every word you say?
Why ask it
One is gossip and the other is power. Follow up with the first sentence she'd say to a dog who finally understood her.
Would you rather go to a fancy dinner in pajamas or go to bed in a ball gown?
Why ask it
Underneath, it's embarrassment against comfort. If she takes pajamas at dinner without blinking, you're dating someone who is hard to embarrass, and that's good news for you.
Would you rather have a personal chef or a personal driver for the rest of your life?
Why ask it
A quick way to learn which daily chore she'd most like gone. Whichever she picks, you now know whether cooking her dinner or doing the driving is the better favor.
Would you rather be snowed into a cabin with me for a week or share a beach hut with me that has no air conditioning?
Why ask it
The packing list is the real answer. Have her name five things for the one she picks, and notice whether a deck of cards makes it in.
Would you rather be able to guess the price of anything to the dollar or the weight of anything to the ounce?
Why ask it
Neither is much of a superpower, which is why her reasons are worth hearing. Test it straight away with three things in reach: closest guess on the price wins.
Would you rather I cooked you a dinner I've never tried before or built you a bookshelf without the instructions?
Why ask it
Either way she's ruling on your skills, and she'll enjoy handing down the verdict. Then prove her wrong, or right, some time this month.
Would you rather the two of us got lost in a city where neither of us speaks the language or in the countryside with no map and no signal?
Why ask it
Ask which of you takes charge in each one, since it's rarely the same person. The story of the last time the two of you got lost tends to follow.
Would you rather hit every green light forever or always find a parking spot right by the door?
Why ask it
A small one for a real drive. Whichever she picks, give her the credit every time it happens for the rest of the trip.
Would you rather meet your great-great-grandmother or your great-great-granddaughter?
Why ask it
The grandmother has the family stories nobody wrote down, and the granddaughter knows how it all turned out. The better half is the single question she'd put to whichever one she chooses.
Would you rather live in a house with a secret room or one with a treehouse in the yard?
Why ask it
Ask what the secret room is for, or who's allowed up the ladder. If the answer is 'a reading nook, and nobody', you've learned where she goes to recharge.
Would you rather I sang to you in a crowded restaurant or danced for you in the kitchen with full commitment?
Why ask it
Her answer shows how she feels about attention in public. Be warned that she's entitled to collect on it, song or dance.
Would you rather always share your dessert with me or never get a single bite of mine?
Why ask it
A pretend dilemma about a real issue. Use it to settle your actual dessert policy: one each, one to split, or two forks and no rules.
Would you rather wake up with a new hair color every day or a new accent every day?
Why ask it
Hair only has to be seen and an accent has to be performed, so the hair is the quieter choice. If she goes for the accents, request tomorrow's right now.
Would you rather be the best-dressed person at a dull party or the worst-dressed at a great one?
Why ask it
It sorts people who remember what they wore from people who remember what happened. Ask about a real party where one of the two came true.
Would you rather own a horse the size of a hamster or a hamster the size of a horse?
Why ask it
Give it more thought than it deserves: where it sleeps, what it eats, whether she could ride it to work. Name the animal before you move on.
Would you rather I watched your childhood home videos with your family narrating or went through your yearbooks with your best friend narrating?
Why ask it
Family tells the cute stories and the best friend tells the true ones. Nobody has to produce anything tonight, but the same access to yours is the price.
Debates
Which of us made the first move, and will we ever agree on that?
Why ask it
Each of you tells the story in under a minute, and the two versions will not match. If the old messages still exist, they count as evidence.
Who takes longer to get ready, and whose fault is it when we're late?
Why ask it
Two separate charges, and they don't always land on the same person. Settle it with a timer the next time you go out, loser buys the coffee.
At what point does a borrowed hoodie officially change owners?
Why ask it
She may already have one of yours, in which case you're negotiating the terms of surrender. Agree on a rule, thirty days or three washes, and shake on it.
Is it stealing if I eat your fries after saying I didn't want any?
Why ask it
An old argument that every couple has to hold once. The usual settlement is ordering the extra fries anyway, and it's worth making that official.
Is 'you pick' a kindness or the most annoying thing a person can say?
Why ask it
This is the where-should-we-eat fight in a safe form. End by agreeing on a system: one of you names three places and the other strikes two.
How many pillows is too many for one bed?
Why ask it
One side thinks pillows are for sleeping on and the other thinks they're furniture. Count the ones on her bed before you take a position.
Who's in charge of the music in the car: the driver, the passenger, or whoever complains loudest?
Why ask it
A debate best held in the car itself. Agree on a house rule, say the driver sets the volume and the passenger picks the songs, and one argument is gone from every future trip.
Do pets belong on the bed or on the floor?
Why ask it
It sounds hypothetical until there's a pet, and then it's law. Better to hear where she stands before a puppy gets a vote.
Are gifts better as a total surprise or chosen from a list of exactly what the person wants?
Why ask it
Whatever she argues is her own gift policy, so you've been told. Ask which present proved it to her, the surprise that missed or the list that felt like a chore.
Who steals the blanket, and who's just cold?
Why ask it
The accused always claims to have been asleep, or too deep in the movie to notice, and therefore innocent. A second blanket ends the case, but arguing it first is more fun.
Is it a real nap if it's shorter than twenty minutes?
Why ask it
Nap people hold strong and specific beliefs. Find out her ideal length, and whether she wakes up cheerful or needs to be left alone for a while.
Which is the better date: dressed up at a restaurant or takeout on the living room floor?
Why ask it
It isn't much of a debate if you agree, so each of you argues the side you didn't pick. Then book whichever one you haven't done lately.
Which of us is living correctly, the morning person or the night owl?
Why ask it
On the same schedule, argue about which half of the day is better. On different ones, work out the hours when you're both at your best and guard them.
Who's the bigger baby when they're sick?
Why ask it
Do impressions of each other with a cold. Then say what each of you really wants on a sick day, soup and quiet or company and a movie, because that part comes in handy.
How long should a person wait before texting back, or is waiting on purpose ridiculous?
Why ask it
Good for a newer couple, because it puts the texting rules on the table. If she says waiting is silly, you can both stop pretending you didn't see the message.
Know me
Close your eyes for a second: what color are mine?
Why ask it
A miss is funnier than a hit, and 'sort of brownish green?' deserves partial credit. Then shut yours and take the same test.
After a terrible day, what's the one meal that fixes me?
Why ask it
If she knows it, she's been paying attention on your worst days as well as your good ones. Ask for hers and remember it, since it's the cheapest rescue there is.
What do I order 'for the table' that is really just for me?
Why ask it
She knows, because she has watched you slide the plate two inches closer to your side. Name hers too, and agree that from now on you each just order your own.
Which movie do I quote so often that you could finish the line for me?
Why ask it
She should get this fast, since she's the one who has had to listen. Confirm it by starting a line and letting her finish it.
What do I say when I'm annoyed but pretending I'm not?
Why ask it
You may not know your own phrase, and she'll have it ready, tone included. Laugh at the impression, because she's handing you something useful.
What do I yell at the TV, and what am I watching when I do it?
Why ask it
Referees, quiz contestants, a couple about to choose the wrong house: she knows which, and at what volume. Count it right only if she gets your exact words.
Which animal do I point out every single time we pass one?
Why ask it
The person in the passenger seat always knows, whether it's every dog or every field of cows. Full marks only if she says it in your voice.
Which of my friends have I known the longest, and how did we meet?
Why ask it
Two points are available, one for the name and one for the story. Getting both means she's been listening to things you barely remember telling her.
Which story of mine have you heard so many times you could tell it for me?
Why ask it
She can probably do it word for word, down to the pause before the ending. Let her tell it your way and resist correcting the details.
What do I forget nearly every time I leave the house?
Why ask it
If she answers before you finish asking, she's the one who has been going back for it. Thank her, then name the thing she always leaves behind at your place.
What kind of video will I always stop scrolling to watch?
Why ask it
A right answer means she's been reading over your shoulder, which is fair. Guess hers next: the odds are good it involves an animal, a kitchen or somebody falling over.
Which song gets me onto a dance floor no matter what?
Why ask it
Expect it to be requested at the next wedding the two of you go to. Guess hers too, and be ready to get up when you're right.
What face do I make when I open a present I don't like?
Why ask it
Ask her to act it out. You'll find out whether your polite face has ever fooled her, and she'll have to admit which gift she saw it on.
Who was my celebrity crush growing up?
Why ask it
Give her the decade as a hint. Whoever she guesses is her theory of your type, and the reveal usually earns some teasing in both directions.
What time do I say I'm going to bed, and what time do I really fall asleep?
Why ask it
The gap between the two is the joke. If she can also name what fills it, one more episode or scrolling in the dark, that's a bonus point.
Cute
What three words would you have used for me after our first conversation, and which three would you use now?
Why ask it
Six words in all, and the distance between the two sets is the story of how she got to know you. Give her your six as well.
What tiny detail about me did you notice early that nobody else ever mentions?
Why ask it
It might be how you hold a pen, or that you thank bus drivers. Small noticed things are the best compliments, so don't wave it off.
What's the most 'us' thing we've ever done?
Why ask it
Usually something a little ridiculous, like a two-hour drive for one particular sandwich. Whatever she names is her definition of the two of you, and worth doing again.
Which outfit of mine is your favorite?
Why ask it
Often not the one you'd expect, and sometimes one you nearly threw out. Wear it the next time you take her somewhere and see if she notices.
If we made a five-song playlist of us so far, what's track one?
Why ask it
Track one is the beginning, so she has to think about how it all started. Build the other four together and you'll have something to play in the car.
What should we be bad at together: pottery, salsa, ice skating?
Why ask it
Being beginners side by side makes a good date, since nobody can show off. Pick one from her answer and look up a class before the idea goes cold.
What would our couple costume be this year?
Why ask it
A test of whether you share a sense of humor and a tolerance for effort. If you both light up at the same idea, write it down and go through with it.
If we had one day and no budget, what's the date?
Why ask it
Have her walk through it from breakfast on. Somewhere in the fantasy is a piece you can afford, the picnic or the view, and that's your next plan.
What's the first message you remember getting from me?
Why ask it
Scroll back and find the real one afterward. It's nearly always more awkward than either of you remembers, and reading it aloud is a small anniversary.
What's your favorite memory of us from the last month?
Why ask it
Keeping it recent stops her reaching for the big milestone. You find out which ordinary evening stuck, and it's often one you didn't plan.
When do you think I look happiest?
Why ask it
She sees your face when you can't. Her answer might be cooking, driving with the windows down or talking about one particular subject, and it's nice to be told.
What's the dorkiest thing about us as a couple?
Why ask it
The voices you give the dog, the running commentary in the grocery store. Naming it out loud turns it into a point of pride, so agree never to fix it.
What should our secret handshake include?
Why ask it
Don't just talk about it. Build one on the spot, three moves each, and use it the next time you say goodbye in public.
What's the best thing I've ever made for you, even if it was only toast?
Why ask it
The bar is set low on purpose. If she remembers a grilled cheese at midnight more fondly than the dinner you planned for a week, you know which one to repeat.
How would you describe me to a little kid who has never met me?
Why ask it
A kid's version has to be simple: 'tall, laughs loud, always has gum'. What's left once the grown-up words are gone is close to what she likes about you.
What do you save up during the day to tell me later?
Why ask it
It's a sweet thing to learn you're the person she saves things for. Ask what today's item was, and make a habit of asking.
Which ones to ask tonight, and what to make of them
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Starter runs for four situations
A long drive
Would you rather and Debates are the car groups, because both can be played with eyes on the road. Start with green lights against parking spots, move to who runs the music, and the hoodie question should cover the next twenty miles. Keep the oldest photo and anything else that needs a phone for a rest stop.
The first few months
Stay in Silly, Random and Would you rather, which assume nothing about the two of you. The candle scent, the perfect pizza, the comfort movie and the birthday she'd rerun all work on a third date, and the last three give you something to remember. Leave Know me alone for now: asked too early, it turns a game into a quiz she never studied for.
A couple of years in
Know me and the history debates (the first move, the blanket, who's the bigger baby when sick) only work once there is material. The same goes for most of Cute: the first message, the most 'us' thing, track one of the playlist. These are the ones to keep for an evening at home with nothing else on.
One to send by text
The ones to send are those she can answer in a line or a link: the song she's wearing out this month, the T-shirt slogan, what she'd have delivered in the next five minutes, any single would-you-rather. Send it in the middle of an ordinary afternoon with your own answer underneath, and don't chase the reply. Know me is weak by text, since half the answers can be looked up and you can't watch her think.
Games for two
One, two, three, show
Read out a would-you-rather, count to three, and both hold up one finger for the first option or two for the second. A match scores a point for the pair of you. Try for seven matches out of ten. Since you win or lose together, the misses are funny instead of tense.
Earn a question
Know me feels like an exam when only one person is being tested and somebody keeps a total. So make every right guess worth something instead: when she gets one, she picks any question on the page and you have to answer it. When she misses, tell her the answer cheerfully and take your own turn guessing about her.
The rulebook
Most of the debates end better with a ruling than with a winner. When you settle one (a hoodie changes owners after thirty days, the driver sets the volume and the passenger picks the songs), add it to a shared note called House Rules. The list gets funnier as it grows, and sooner or later one of you will cite it.
Answer as each other
Take a Silly or Random question and answer it the way you think she would, while she answers as you. Then correct each other. It turns a plain favorites question into an impression, and the wrong guesses tend to start better conversations than the right ones.
The glove box card
Copy ten questions onto an index card and leave it in the car, or keep a short note pinned on your phone. Pull it out when a drive or a wait at a restaurant goes quiet. Cross questions off as you use them and write a new card once it's full.
Keeping it a game
Go first on the silly ones
If she hesitates over the candle scent or the potluck dish, give your own answer first, and make it worse than anything she'd dare. That shows her how far she's allowed to take it. Every question here runs in both directions, so she should hear your answer either way.
Remember three things
A few of these are useful as well as funny. Her perfect pizza, what made her best birthday and the meal that fixes a bad day (she'll tell you hers when you ask about yours) are worth keeping. Don't take notes in front of her. Order the right pizza some time next month and say nothing about how you knew.
Don't smuggle in a complaint
Who makes the two of you late, who's the bigger baby when sick and how long to wait before texting back are jokes only when nothing is riding on them. If one of them is a real sore spot, skip it tonight and raise the real thing plainly on another day. A grievance dressed up as a game is easy to spot, and it spoils the game.
Leave the teasing in the room
Answers given for a laugh are given on trust. The forbidden cereal or the yearbook story doesn't get repeated at dinner with her friends unless she tells it herself. If she learns the game is safe, she'll want to play it again.
Know when to put the list away
Eight or ten questions is a full evening. If her answers are getting shorter or she's had a long day, stop and try another night; if the third question turns into a half-hour story, stop for the better reason. Nobody needs to finish the page.