Questions to Ask Before Moving in With Roommates
Twenty questions to ask before you agree to share a place: hours and cleaning standards, how rent and bills are split, guests and partners staying over, noise, pets, who deals with the landlord, and what happens if someone leaves early. Written for a viewing or a first coffee with people you do not know well.
The questions
Open any question for the note
What time do you usually get up and go to bed on a work night?
Why ask it
This is the mundane detail that decides whether sharing a wall works. A pair of opposite schedules can be fine in a place with two bathrooms and miserable in a place with one, so ask it alongside a look at the layout.
How often do you clean, and what counts as clean to you?
Why ask it
Everyone says they are tidy. Ask for the rule instead: dishes the same night or by the weekend, bathroom weekly or when it looks bad. Two people with different definitions and no stated rule is the most common way a share goes wrong.
Who was your best roommate, and who was your worst?
Why ask it
The complaints in the second answer tell you what they will not tolerate, and the way they describe the worst one tells you how they handle conflict. Someone whose past roommates were all terrible is worth thinking about carefully.
Why are you leaving your current place?
Why ask it
You are listening for whether the reason is circumstantial or about people. A vague answer that avoids naming any cause, when the move is mid-lease, usually means a dispute you would want to hear their version of.
Who is on the lease, and whose name is on the utilities?
Why ask it
This determines who is legally exposed. Being the only name on the lease means the landlord pursues you for everyone's rent; being on none of it means you can be asked to leave with little protection. Get it clear before money moves.
How are we splitting rent if the rooms are different sizes?
Why ask it
Equal splits with unequal rooms breed a slow resentment that surfaces months later. Settle the number now, in writing, including who gets the parking space and whether the person with the ensuite pays more.
How do we handle the bills: one account and reimbursement, or separate?
Why ask it
Whoever holds the account is doing unpaid administration and carrying the risk of late payers. Ask what the reimbursement deadline is, because "we just sort it out" tends to mean one person chases everybody every month.
What happens if someone is short on rent, and how late is a problem?
Why ask it
Ask before it happens, when nobody is embarrassed. A house with an agreed rule, tell everyone by the 25th, covers the gap and is repaid by payday, survives it. A house with no rule tends to lose a friendship over one late month.
Do you cook, and is food shared or separate?
Why ask it
Shared groceries only work when consumption is roughly even, and it rarely is. Separate shelves are easier to keep to. Also ask about washing up after cooking, since that is where most kitchen arguments actually start.
How often do you have people over, and do they stay the night?
Why ask it
Ask for frequency in numbers. There is a big difference between two friends on a Friday and eight people at midnight, and people describe both as "having a few people round".
Would a partner staying four or five nights a week be a problem for you?
Why ask it
An unofficial extra resident using the utilities and the bathroom is the single most common flashpoint in shared houses. Agreeing a limit now, and whether it comes with a contribution, is far easier than raising it in month five.
Do you smoke, vape or use anything in the house, and where?
Why ask it
Ask plainly, including cannabis where it is legal, because it affects the deposit, the smell in shared fabric, and possibly the lease. An evasive answer here matters more than the substance itself.
How loud is your normal: music, television, calls, an instrument?
Why ask it
People underestimate their own volume. Ask what they have been asked to turn down before, and whether they use headphones, since that is a more reliable indicator than a self-rating.
Do you work from home, and do you take calls out loud?
Why ask it
Two people on video calls in a small flat need a rule about the shared space during working hours. This one has become a common source of conflict and almost nobody raises it before moving in.
Is the living room somewhere we would spend time, or mainly a room we walk through?
Why ask it
Some people want housemates and some want co-tenants, and both are fine as long as they match. Mismatch here shows up as one person feeling crowded and the other feeling snubbed, and neither will say so.
Pets: do you have one, want one, or object to one?
Why ask it
Ask all three, because the plan matters as much as the current situation. Also check the lease, since an unapproved animal can cost the whole house its deposit or its tenancy.
When something breaks, who calls the landlord and who pays?
Why ask it
Small repairs get ignored for months when it is nobody's job. Agree who reports faults and how you split anything the landlord will not cover, including the shared items like a vacuum or a router.
How would you tell me if something I was doing annoyed you?
Why ask it
This is the question that predicts most of your life together. Someone who says they would mention it that week is a much safer bet than someone who says they are easygoing, which usually means silence followed by a passive note.
How long are you planning to stay, and what notice would you give?
Why ask it
If they are hoping to buy, move in with a partner, or go travelling in six months, you need to know now. Notice periods between housemates are worth agreeing separately from the lease.
If one of us has to leave early, how do we handle replacing them and the deposit?
Why ask it
This is the expensive scenario, and the answer should be a process: who finds the replacement, who approves them, who is repaid what and when. Houses without a rule here end up in disputes over money that nobody can evidence.
Choosing housemates and setting terms
Practical guidance for the conversation itself
Before you agree to anything
See the place at an ordinary hour
Visit on a weekday evening rather than a staged Saturday morning. You will hear the traffic, the neighbours and the water pressure, and you will see whether the kitchen is as it usually is.
Meet everyone who lives there
If one housemate is always unavailable, ask again. People who are not part of the interview are often the reason a room is free, and you are agreeing to live with them too.
Check the lease before the conversation gets friendly
Read who is named, what the term is, how the deposit is protected, and what the rules on pets, subletting and guests actually say. Verbal permission from a housemate is not permission from a landlord.
Put the boring parts in writing
- Rent split per room, and what happens to it if someone swaps rooms.
- Which bills are shared, who holds each account, and the date reimbursements are due.
- The guest and overnight-partner rule, in nights per week.
- Cleaning: who does what, how often, and whether you rotate or divide by area.
- Notice between housemates, and the process for replacing someone mid-lease.
- How the deposit is tracked, including who paid what, so it can be settled fairly later.
Reading the answers
Specifics beat reassurance
"I'm clean and quiet" is a claim everyone makes. A rule they already follow, or a story about a house that worked, is evidence. Ask what their last house's cleaning arrangement was.
Watch how they talk about previous housemates
Someone who describes a past conflict fairly, including their own part in it, will probably handle a disagreement with you the same way. Someone who describes only villains will add you to the list.
Trust discomfort you cannot justify
You do not owe anyone an explanation for saying no. A room that is slightly cheaper is not worth a year of tension you had a feeling about at the viewing.
Common mistakes
- Agreeing an equal rent split without looking at the rooms.
- Leaving the guest and partner question until it is already happening.
- Letting one person hold every utility account with no repayment deadline.
- Moving in with a friend without discussing money, on the theory that friendship covers it.
- Taking a room because the deadline was today, when the landlord set that deadline.