Questions to ask at the end of life and after a loss

There is no script for these conversations, which is why people avoid them. These sets are for talking with someone who is dying, arranging a funeral, settling an estate, and asking the things you will wish you had asked.

36 sets · 819 questions · each with a note on why

A few to start with

How do we divide the caregiving among family members without it falling on one person?
Care almost always concentrates on whoever lives closest or says no least, and it is easier to change the pattern early. Ask the social worker to help set an actual schedule, since a named person for named hours holds up better than everyone agreeing to help.
From: Questions to Ask Hospice Social Worker
If a beneficiary contests something, do you handle that yourself or refer it out?
Administration and litigation are different practices, and a referral mid-matter means a new lawyer, a new retainer, and lost time. Ask what happens to your file and your fee if the matter turns contested.
From: Questions to Ask a Probate Lawyer Before Hiring
Is there anyone I want to leave out, and what is the reason?
Leaving out a close relative is generally handled differently from simply not mentioning them. The reason matters because it shapes the drafting and affects how likely the document is to be challenged.
From: Estate Planning Questions to Ask Yourself
Will the same nurse and aide come each time?
Continuity matters more than most families expect, because a nurse who knows the patient notices changes a stranger will not. High turnover shows up as a new face every visit, so ask directly what their staff turnover has been in the past year.
From: Questions to Ask Hospice Interview
How should I handle online accounts, photographs, and passwords?
Access is governed by each provider's terms and by state digital asset law, so a list of passwords is not a legal authority. Ask what wording gives your executor the right to deal with accounts, and store the list separately.
From: Questions to Ask Lawyer About Wills
What should I tell the beneficiaries, and how often?
Most disputes in probate come from silence rather than from money. Ask what you are legally required to disclose, then set a simple update rhythm so relatives do not fill the gap with suspicion.
From: Questions to Ask Attorney About Probate

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