Questions to ask at the end of life and after a loss

There is no script for these conversations. These sets are for sitting with someone who is dying, talking to a hospice or palliative care team, arranging a funeral, and putting a will, a trust or an estate in order. Others are for afterwards, when you are remembering a person or a pet.

46 sets · 1,336 questions · each with a note on why

A few to start with

How do we divide the caregiving among family members without it falling on one person?
Care almost always concentrates on whoever lives closest or says no least, and it is easier to change the pattern early. Ask the social worker to help set an actual schedule, since a named person for named hours holds up better than everyone agreeing to help.
From: Questions to Ask a Hospice Social Worker
Who should know the trust exists, and what should they be told now?
Trustees who learn of their role after a death lose weeks working out what they are holding. Deciding in advance what each person is told, and when, spares your family that.
From: Questions to Ask When Setting Up a Trust
How do you work with our religious and cultural practices around illness and dying?
Requests about diet, washing, prayer, who may be present, and what happens to the body immediately after death are practical matters, not preferences to be accommodated later. A team that asks about this early is one that has done it before.
From: Questions to Ask About Palliative Care
How many patients is each nurse case manager responsible for at one time?
A number is the only useful answer here, and a long pause is an answer too. Heavier caseloads generally mean shorter visits and slower callbacks, which is why the same question belongs in the second agency's interview.
From: Questions to Ask During a Hospice Interview
How does this fit with my will, my powers of attorney, and my beneficiary designations?
Plans fail in coordination rather than drafting. Beneficiary designations on retirement accounts and insurance override a will, and a deed that never gets recorded leaves the trust holding nothing.
From: Questions to Ask About Irrevocable Trusts
What are the income, estate, and gift tax consequences?
Whether the trust or the beneficiary pays tax on income depends on the structure and on the distributions made. Ask for the treatment in writing so you can take it to a tax preparer.
From: Questions to Ask About a Trust

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